writer apologises for possibly being overtly high

There is a dead puppy opposite my house.

A puppy died outside my house! N its So SAD! =(

I hate puppy. puppy stupid. puppy go die n all... =(
n now i all sad...

All SAD. *cries*

i mean.. i know the puppys saddER n stuff.. n n.. if the puppys mummy n daddy knew.. they'd probably be all SAD too! but i think if mummy n daddy CARED.. n didnt let puppy run wild over the neighbourhood.. AND told puppy things like talking to strangers.. or SITTIN UNDER MOVING CARS is BAD! BAD BAD BAD NOTTY NOTTY!!! (n maybe spanked puppy a lil).. den MAYBE.. MAYBE puppy wudnt hav DIED. *cue to sniff for poor puppy*

sigh..

now puppy going to go in paper bag.. which is such a bad way to go..

but my daddy.. who tells me not to talk to strangers. n not to sit under moving cars. (but doesnt spank me thankyouverymuch for ur concern.) says tmr we need to give puppy nice nice burial. maybe he'll go nex to the pineapple. or the banana. (whichever, means that we'll be eating dead puppy from now on btw so, eww.) so maybe puppys soul will smile down from heaven? yes. coz All dogs go to heaven dont they. even the evil ones who bark at u n make u run very fast n fall down. (No. that hasnt happened to me either thankyouverymuch again.)

Oso. apparently my nephew likes cute puppy n laughs.. (or liked. whichever. boy is that morbid.) N tats saying alot coz eventhough he likes it when u miao like a cat. (god knows why. tat poor kid.) He's usually jus stoned when u take him on walks n simply nothing gets to him. Dog or no dog. Cat or no cat. Too bad for him his daddy killed his favourite puppy. (No, thats not what happened. but shhhhh.. im certainly gonna Tell him that!)

ALso! Since we're on the topic of my favourite nephew. He cries when his grandma yawns. Again. God knows why. Weird kid. (No offense darling! Aunty luvs u very very much! Promise!) I mean. Hes 7 months old for crying out loud! Dont tell me he hasnt seen anyone yawn till now! It was jus like boom. One day my mum yawns n he goes WAHHHHHHHH!!! sob sob cry cry. distracted by cat. n den after that my mum yawns again (bcoz ofcourse u cant help stuff like that) n again he goes WAHHHHH! Like my God get a grip kid! Apparently even the sound of yawns sets him off now. Thats it. We cant have this can we. no no. Tmr. Im gonna yawn at him. We have to break this habit. Together. we shall make it my boy! Persevere!

OI! U Take That back! I am Not evil! I Am Not! I just love him that dam much ok.
Now shudup n leave us alone.


Yay. Greatness.
N Now after all the niceties. Time for the real topic of the day.

Hkl (by the way. why do they call it HKL or GHKL when GH is obViously english n Den its should be KLGH dontcha thinK!) has the Coolest elevators Ever. EVER! N i dont mean cool as in meant for the morgue dead ppl need cold freeze so dead flesh dun rot cool. (Yes my dad did think i meant tat. god.) but Cool as in AWESOME. AWESOME NESSSSSS.

Been workin (yea rite.) there the past few days. n will be for the nex 2 weeks. n yes the greatest thing about that place (or probably Only great thing) is their AWESOME elevators!

Total coolness! Why?!
Cozzzz the elevators are *dum dum dum dum!* DOORLESS!
YES! YOU READ THAT RIGHT!
D O O R L E S S!

Awesomeness! no?

constantly moving up one side n down one side. Doorless elevators! All ya have to do is hop on hop off! Like those dam hop on hop off busses in kl. Cept ofcourse if u fall Off this one u dont get run over by the bus or any other passing truck, but instead! have the greatest honour of being squished in two, or into a pancake, whichever, by the WORLDS COOLEST ELEVATOR!

Come now. say it with me. AWESOMENESSSSSSS.

sigh..... *dreams*

but dun worry. YOURE IN A HOSPITAL FOR *HEWHOMISHUDNOTNAME*S SAKE! What better place to be squished in two den a hospital huh?! RIght outside the OT too! (HAHA) cept ofcourse if u die right out. den i guess u jus go straight down to the morgue on the same lift. energy saving.

LOOK! SUCH EFFICIENCY! Who'd expect That in Msia huh?

Dont u all jus WISH u were working right where i am huh?! =D Thats ok.. i understand. Suck up to me now! Do it! N i jus might save ya rights to view the greatest elevator with me.

Yes yes.. no dont worry.. i am just that dam nice.

you wont believe me if i told you

Wonder?

why is it that the people who see the best in you,

are the ones that leave.

I hate Lucas. (one tree hill)
because he's such a healer.
"i need to heal everybody, i need to cure everybody, im in so much pain if i cant help anybody!"

Sob!

Because it makes him all sad n poopy..
n i Wuv him!
n That makes me all sad n poopy too!

SOb!

Hes so Good at making them sad faces now~!

n i hate it when people think its their job to save the world. or the worlds people atleast.
i hate people who get upset beCause they cant save the world
because OBviously
ure Not gonna be able to save the whole world.
no matter what.
u can try. n thats great.
but dont go all mopey on me if u cant save the Whole world because its Not your job.

Because they're lying? n witholding the whole truth is lying.

You've gotta save yourself first.

choo choo boo you

[Edit: apparently i didnt post this post last time (at my old blog) but while moving it i didnt realise.. n so, instead of allowing it to disappear into oblivion i tot id just leave it here anyways. Keepsake. ]

Ugh! Like i said. I hate it when u Care about someone, but THey dont care about u.. n Den they say that Ppl dun care! Bcoz Ppl Do! But U Dont!

ok fine. ugh.

I went out with a friend today.. n if u read this (but i know u wont..) Im mad at you!
or i was.. quite a bit. :(
you were quite a jerk today.
i did Not go out with you for you to be a jerk to me ok.

when

3 weeks past new year but im gonna say it anyways.

Happy New Year! Yay!

Ofcourse my excuse will be something like.. Oh im striking a balance.. right between the Western new year n Chinese New Year. Yay. hah.

yes yes as u can tell.. bloggins.. alllmost dead for me now.
quite sad to me too.

oh well. anyways im here bcoz.
- supermans not talking to me
- im in my room n its nice coz the lights are out,
- my brothers sleeping (yes... in my room. pity me now wont u..),
- (but on the plus side..) im using his comp.
how nice ya. haha
atleast no using the downstairs comp with everyone crowding in the room that was once pretty much jus mine at nites.
i'll save u the details.

ritey den.
tat was the intro...
n now ive forgotten my main content.
hah how great!

ok how bout this

my tiny mirrors staring down at me from above n dyu know how many ghost stories start out like this.

why do ppl blog when they dun have anything interesting to say.

ppl say that theyre 'lonely inside' n they 'want someone to listen'. but they dont just want any someone because sometimes there Is a someone but they jus dont give a damn back. sometimes someone is ready to be there to listen n care but they dont give a damn. precisely because its not a someone that they particularly care about. so its not just any someone that they want.
but i guess u cant fault them because u just cant click with someone just because that person wants u to. n because most of the time, u do it too.
it just sucks. when ure ready to be that someone, or maybe jus one of many someones.. but they just dont give a damn about u. (n then they say that all they want is someone.) ok enough with the someone talk.

do u think u can die from all the radiation by spending too much time next to ur comp. (like sleeping next to it). We all know our cellphones are gonna kill us. =p

tired of living in the same house as my parents n being guarded by rules n curfews. but ofcourse thats the only way i can get free food n less household responsibilities n a car n allowance n ppl to buy u stuff n so on n so forth. typical. still tired of all that curfew bull though.

i never wanna grow up coz i think being an adult sucks n im not sure i can deal with all the responsibilities thats gonna come. or wanna.

im watching all these medical shows n apparently being on the road to being a surgeon is tough, n it sucks, n it takes a long time (n pays bad while ure at it), n it Takes up All ur time During, N u have to be the best, theres no middle ground, n im not or never will be the best, n im not even the kind to even strive to Be the best. (i suck) because i dont believe in all the kiasuness, i run away from competition. i jus cant stand to compete now... But i do try to compete with myself. My new years resolution, that i didnt officially make.. is to really buck up this year. My results these past 6 months jus wasnt good enough.. n even wen i bucked up.. it still wasnt good enough. N i Know i cud hav done better. Thats the worse bit. Knowing its on u n all u had to do was work harder, n tat u cud hav. So this year.. i wanna get down to it. Not sure how or will i really take that extra mile. but hoping i will. i need to do better. Oh (back to the surgeon bit) but being a surgeon is what i want to.. er.. be.. n im not gonna give that up (unless i change my mind on what i want). Coz the other thing i believe in is doing what U wanna do because U wanna do it. So add these things up n lifes gonna be pretty dam tough.

well that wasnt exactly enough for my style but pain in the butt in my rooms awake n i shud get to sleep before my butts in pain..

take care n maybe i'll be back soon!

All i want for christmas

I'm such a Spas!

*cries*

sniff sniff...

*suffering from self-esteem issues*

Anyways, MERRY CHRISTMAS Everyone!
Yay Yay Yay Yay YAY!

*prezzies prezzies under the tree!*
(actually.. at this point in time.. all them prezzies are open n gone d loh..)

things i should have done:

i) atleast said Thank you! when she wished me, even if i cudnt wish her back. but nooooo i was like a dumb mute!

ii) why why WHY are u Staring at me like that!! So i didnt get u a present! *weeps* DONT stare at me like that! *cries n runs away-s*
note to self : this is the 3rd year they've been over... MAYbe its time we Got them some Soaps too!

iii) Told someone to get him the Right prezzies... I Knew it I Knew it I Knew it! But i din Do it! *waaaaaaaahhhh* Its Their fault they didnt ask me! *sniff* Now he has that book which i dont know if he will read.. (maybe he will!), N the toy car that i want! (because i love remote control cars.. n its Yellow! YELLOW!!!)

What i got for Christmas / things i am a-liking :

i) Lingerie. - Yes yes. dun laugh. Its not the first time, trust me. Lingerie i want but like i said I would rather pick it myself. These ones freak me out. sigh.. but =) (No No! Im Grateful! I Am! )

ii) Necklace - My mummy got me necklace. Necklace my mummy got me nice.. :)

iii) Belt! - How did they Know i wanted a belt! *gasp* So SMart! Yayy! =DDD

iv) Lipgloss!!! - *GASPS!* YAY! I Have LipGloss! I ACtually have Lipgloss! HAHA! Mummy get me DiorKISS Lipgloss! so pretty! So shiny! Smell So Nice! :) My mummy wan me kissykissy! Now all i have to do is find a boy to kissy! =D Yay!

N my greatest surprise:

v) I got a sleeping lion heart......

.........

yes... thats exactly how i felt...

......... !!!!!
Oh My GOd!~

A present that wouldnt mean a thing... Except that by accident... It means a whole lot.
Something the giver actually would have no clue about..
No, he did put a little thought into it. Which in this case is ALot considering how last minute it was.. n how little we put into His.
but by accident.. it turned into.. the most precious of my gifts this year.. (tho it shudnt ofcourse. damnit.)

Oh well.. I got a sleeping lion heart. =) Its nice.. Thats all..


Also got a few other things, like soap, but not gonna mention all of em here..
Look at what i told my brother to get me..

What do you want for Christmas?
- I dunno... I want.. baju! (clothes) But i want Pick my own baju! But i not free go with you! Korkor! Give me Shopping allowance!!!

So what? Just give you money?
- Ya. Wrap it up n put it under the tree!

I know its horrible to ask for money for Christmas. But if id said nothing he wud have gone n bought me something anyways. N its highly likely i wouldnt like it. WHich is OK except i wudnt Use it N Den thats just not very nice ISit?!?!

So what i planned was to get shopping allowance (sounds better den asking for money =p) GO off n get myself something nice when im free. Come back n go Look Kor! This is what you got me for Christmas! Isnt it all nice n pretty!? Isnt it?! =D And then wudnt everyone just be Happy?!~

But come christmas day n what happens?

I open my present (which was obViously not shaped in the form of money.) n i get books. Books! No no.. books are perfectly fine... except for the fact that i asked for clothes (Well, i DID!) n u got me books... Which is Still fine.. Except.

Know what book he got me?

He went out. Got a book that HE wants. Wraps it up n gives it to me n the moment i open it, goes, This is a good book! A Good Book! You dowan, i take it n go read it first. Ok bye.

N he takes it. (Yes! I blinked n it was gone!)

...
S W E A T.

N before the books he offered to buy me a remote control car so that he cud give it to me, n den take it n give it to his son. (who is 5 months old so actually he meant to play with it himself.) (just incase u think im just speculating! Im not. Thats exactly what he told me.) But ofcourse, along comes my cousin, n he doesnt know what to get for him, so he gives him a car. N i get books. Which are gone now.

Now aint that a winning strategy.


It was an oddly sad xmas for me though..
it was good n nice.. took me a while to realise i liked my presents, but yea. (=p)
but still.. oddly sad too..

But oh well.
Now all i need is a jewellery box n a make-up box! (A box, not a kit, coz a kit wud contain make-up-y stuff in it!)

A make-up box. To house my lone tube of lip gloss.

Yay. =)

N Now to end it all with a Song!
Sing it with me!

Jingle pau, jingle pau,
Jingle cha siew pau..
Lin yoong pau,
tau sa pau..,
siew mai.., loh mai kai....
Hey!!


Wishing all a Merry Merry Christmas!! :)

i dont owe you nothing

Exam time. No blogging. tho no exam oso no blogging. but atleast now ive a (kinda) Good excuse ya?! =)


Berhenti Berharap - sheila on 7 ------ reminds me of J.
I'll Be Over You - toto ------ reminds me of S.


what do you see when ure in ur room..
at night..
lights off, aircon on..
when you look into the darkness, what do you see?

coz, i see you..


it wud be nice if i could JUst
FAll into bed when its dark at night
n the rooms all cold n comfy.

God DAm this stupid studying thing.

ever after

it is when i call you, crying

and hear your voice..

that i know you're so far gone

you'll never come back.

desire

To Elly : You dont wonder.. You know they're not.. All things being the way they are.. But that just doesnt seem to change much does it..

---

U know how when u watch a show..
n some really really good song comes on..

That seems to touch your heart..
catch your breath..

So you go on to search for it
obtain it
to hear it in its entirety
expecting to enjoy it...

But once you have it
you suddenly realise
it was only that snippet of it you heard
in that one special moment
and all the emotions that you felt
put together
that made it so special..

And the whole song..
by itself
played in whole..
with these little bits n pieces that you wudnt have put in if it were up to you..
that dont convey what you thought it wud have.

and all in all

Turns out disappointing after all.


That sounds alot like life..

That sounds alot like love..

That sounds alot like me.


Desire - Ryan Adams

Two hearts fading, like a flower.
And all this waiting, for the power.
For some answer, to this fire.
Sinking slowly. The water’s higher.
Desire

With no secrets. No obsession.
This time I'm speeding with no direction.
Without a reason. What is this fire?
Burning slowly. My one and only.
Desire

You know me. You don't mind waiting.
You just can't show me, but God I'm praying,
That you'll find me, and that you'll see me,
That you run and never tire.
Desire


I thought they say that knowledge is power..
then why is it that with all that i know..
it still doesnt seem to change how my heart feels..

What will it take?

what does it mean to give up?

how far do you have to go..


will you ever come back..

didnt know

if you were about to lose someone really important to you..
what wud you do?..
fight to keep them right?

some things are so telling..

invisible love

you know how i said i have FIVE of those buy one get one free movie tickets?!
(ok fine you Dont know (coz i didnt tell you) but thats also because you're stupid now go away)

No wait! Dont go away! Heres the best part!

I now have TEN of those buy one get one free movie tickets!!!
WOOT!

=Pppp

Dont you ALL just wanna be my friend now..
=D


Question: Why does your skin turn red where you scratch it?

Theres this friend of mine, who started this inside joke, and reproves me for stealing all the guys.
(by that she meant two, and ofcourse, its not true anyways.)

The irony is that (and she doesnt know this), theres these two guys that I like that seem smitten by her, and hardly give me the time of day.
ALso, the guy i Love, apparently thinks shes hot.
and what makes matters worse, now She thinks Hes hot too.

So great for me ya?


Question: Why doesn't Prasad return me my book?

What hurts the most, is that you take my words, but use it on someone else.

the transition

i dont have much i plan to say right now

but its absolutely Essential

that i proclaim something today.

that is

I am 19 yrs old! (oh i feel so young)

yes yes..

after a whole year of claiming im 20! I shall now set the record straight!

I am 19 yrs old!

(this is tradition! for most of the year im 20! den for just one week i'll be 19, so that i'll have the chance to officially turn 20 again. hehe.. such is the pain of having ones birthday so late in the year. :p )

chunky chunky kiiitkat

House is the most amazing show ever.
Ever.

I could watch it twice in one day!
the Same episode!
infact, i did.

ARGH!

I cud analyse the whole thing but that would just drive me insane!
Woot!

We already know i hate Cameron.
but now I HATE Foreman! Hes SUCH an ASS!
i swear!
thinking hes so great!
Bow down to House u bastard!
ragging on Chase coz he says hes trying to be like House. Pfffffft.
Hes the one. Hmph. Trying too hard to anti him.

N now hes his boss! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA
Thats gonna be SO Awesome to watch.
Bastard.
Who does he think he is wei?!
House rocks.
And did you see?! House had a smile on his face when he found out Foreman was his boss.
It was like the small.. "good.. good.. i know what hes gonna try. im proud of this kid" smile.
woohoooo haha.

Cameron cant act.

Chase is a bastard but atleast he listens to House.
(even if its not for the right reasons)

House kicks butt wei!!!
the show N the guy!
Hugh Laurie is like almost god!
(haha)


okok fine. too much gushing.

Now about food.

I want food. I like food. I craaave for food.
Right now i want bread.
but house got no bread. Everytime it does, its either bad baaad bread (as in, stupid bread idiots buy that i dont want to eat) or if i have my bread, i eat some den i dont eat d. hmmm.
sad :(
id put together something but... i have the feeling ive been eating too much.
been putting together food alot everytime i get bored. hehe.
plus i edi ate maggie once today n frying stuffs too much trouble right now.

foooooooooooooooooooooooooooood. :(

i Do have chocs (which i got today! Yay!) buuuuttt...
had chocs very recently.... maybe not huh? :(

OMG I KNOW!!!
I WANT PIZZA!!!

Oh! Sweet lovely pizza!
:'(
If only it wasn't 3.18am!
If only there were 24hr delivery pizzas about.....

waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

just saw tv.
with choc muffins.
now i want something chocolate coated.
thick!
but i cant figure out something that is besides doughnuts which im not that fond of..
hmmm.
brownies..

oh well enough crap. wasted too many hours on tv.
gotta get some studying done.

maybe i will get that kitkat.


btw.
i have to bitch.
i HATE the people i stay with.
ARGH.

dont go breaking my heart

You know how you tend to get mad and lash out at the people you love.
more than the people you dont know that well.

Thats because you trust the ones you love, to love you anyways.
Even after all you've done.
You trust them to love you, to know you. To understand.
To understand where you were coming from.
To understand what you were thinking.
Or to accept why you were feeling that way, even if they dont understand.
To know. that you are who you are. the one they love.
Even in that moment of weakness.


Notice another obvious thing?

The people you feel safest with.
are the only ones that can make you cry...

living in fantasy land. lie with me.

hi.
i shud blog a real blog but im lazy.
im not sure what i want to say here anyways.
too much n too little of many things.
:)
excuses huh.

exams coming up. next fri. have yet to study which is ofcourse really really bad.
no stress as yet. which explains the blogging. to excape studying i tell u.
this is bad.
need the stress to study. wonder why im so lax. really shud not be. i would like to score y'noe.

feel rather screwed.
want to have the night go on to leave me alone with my thoughts..
but this be nothing u havent heard before.

heres a song.

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lie here
Would you lay with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lay with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lay with me and just forget the world?

---

Am rather hungry.
wud like to have cake.
hmmm.

oh ya. was looking at em shakeys promotion advertisement thingythingys that they send out y'noe?
god knows what theyre called. me forgets.
sniff.. dem nice pizzas.. (correction, dem nice Picture of pizzas)
make me hungry
salivate.
which sounds utterly gross ofcourse but shudup u guys do it to.

looked through some of my old posts coz was searching for something.
was nice n funny to read. embarassing as well.
was nice to see how i was at a time when my heart was completely at ease with itself.
yet to be given away n yet reasonably comfortable.
hmmm.

anyways. happy birthday dear. (past midnight. tho not at your place)
isnt something that i shud be calling you but oh well. who knows right. as long as i understand.
wish for you on your birthday.. be happy.. let yourself be happy..
dont be caught up with being sad..
take care..


no proper gardenia to make sandwich. dammit.

without you

What i dont get is

How can there be people out there who are happy
who laugh n smile n play

when it hurts so badly in here..


I feel like im stuck in this unreal world
where i cant seem to wrap my head around reality..

Here i am taking big steps that i could only have done if i understood
n yet i cant seem to stop myself from expecting..


This here is the middle.
the path between two worlds..
n ive dragged myself up n chose where to walk

N yet i cant fathom
what life will be like

without you.