the new stupidity

wat m i doin here

bloggin

surfin

readin

i.e. NOT studyin


fuck

...
no wait. i didnt mean tat.

fuck off

yes. tats it.

dont leave..

I Could Not Ask For More Lyrics

by Edwin McCain

Lying here with you
Listening to the rain
Smiling just to see the smile upon your face
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

Looking in your eyes
Seeing all I need
Everything you are is everything to me
These are the moments
I know heaven must exist
These are the moments I know all I need is this
I have all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

[Chorus]
I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I have's come true
And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you here with me

These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I've got all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

[Chorus]

I could not ask for more than the love you give me
'Coz it's all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more

---

seems to tap into my past, somewhere..
no idea..

heard this song from long ago..

means something doesnt it..

the words are..nice.. ideal..

u know? songs are cheats..
its not fair..
u can put everything nice and perfect in them..
but things tat dont neccessarily exist..

just like how books have the upper hand of controlling the outcome..
n movies where the cops always only turn up after everythings done.. (actually this i dunno why i added here.. hehee...)
n fairy tales tat end at marriage.. =P

hate them all.. =P

Almost here

Almost Here Lyrics

by Brian McFadden and Delta Goodrem

Guy: Did I hear you right
'Cause I thought you said
Let's think it over

You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where a love once shined so bright
Came without a reason

Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

Girl: But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's
Not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'Cause you're only almost here

Guy: I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me

Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me

Both: Bruised and battered by your words
     Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Guy: Haven't I always loved you

Girl: But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's
Not enough
But when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'Cause you're only almost here

Both: Bruised and battered by your words
     Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Guy: Haven't I always loved you

Girl: But when I need you, you're almost here
Guy: (Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you)
Girl: And when I hold you, you're almost here
Guy: (Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted)
Both: (Now I'm with you, I'm close to tears
Guy: 'Cause I know I'm almost here)
Both: Only almost here

---

hurts..

last day of coll..

I blog more during exams den i do during hols. =P
Much more better things to do during hols..
haha...
N exams?! Jus trying to get away from it all.

But exams havnt started yet..
Jus a few days more..
No stress yet..
sigh..
Not good..
Cant believe i still cant study..

Anyways..

Its the last day of college..
The very very last day..
Sure theres still the exam period but.. exams.. gonna be too busy for anything else..
( I regret tat they dun hav long weeks between papers like during AS. Tat was SO cool! All the late Late night studying.. till morning.. Tat was So super cool..)

Im not one to care much bout leaving n stuff..
i dunno..
Maybe its not even so much the place..
the people?
I dunno..

Things are gonna change from now..
Graduation..
its like we're thrown into an ocean..
the real world..
the adult world..
I hate growing up..
i really do..

relationships tat were built during my time at college..
due to the circumstances, tat we were all thrown together.. into one tiny lil.. quadrangle.. =P
now the circumstances are gonna change..
n it wont be convenient to be friends anymore..
now, its going to require work.. (Force x displacement. heheheee..)
n im jus talking bout friendships here..
lets not even get into coupling. (phenols n diazonium salts. hehehheeee..)

lost..
confused..
saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad..

yet, not free
to think..

oh well.

Today.
13th of May.
Friday the 13th.
wow..
double badness..
maybe, they'll cancel each other out.

last day of coll..

Elly, Fabes..
Yes, i remember..
U guys are invited to my wedding n my baby showers
whenever, n with whomever..
n if i forget that u are
may it be that u wont forget with me..

To all my dear friends..
all the people who have.. played a part?
major or minor..
affected my life in any way..

Thank you.

Because of you, i have
laughed
cried
experienced
grown

Heres to life. (not in an embracing manner..)

---

p.s. i was not brought up to go against my parents..
..its hard..really hard..

happy mothers day

I have ALOT of work n studying to do..
I am Waaaaaay behind..

I CANT study coz i have WORK to do!
N I CANT WORK coz i have STUDYING to do..

Bio core.
Bio option.
Physics option.
Math EVERYTHING.

i have to re-do phys core (properly tis time) tis weekend b4 the exam.
i have to do bio core sometime.. which doesnt seem to be possible now..
i have to do phys option or i wont b able to do the questions tat he's gonna discuss..
i cant do a SINGLE math question without help..

today.
I have to
Finish up todays chem practical.
Do a phys core paper tat he shud discuss tmr.,
Do a math paper coz im not doing any studying..

sleep.
Need alot of sleep.
I am absolutely exhausted.
cant get enough sleep..

I NEED to skip classes, but i cant..
i want to go for discussions too..

i cant study..

i cant watch Boston Public..

I am Absolutely exhausted..

I am stressed out.

I want my baby..but i dun wanna talk..

I want my mummy...
...
which is why i started this..

I want my mummy,
but i dont have anything to say to her..

I dont have anything to say to my mummy..
i dont see her, i dont talk to her..
I called her up on Mothers Day yesterday.. n i didnt have anything to say to her..
I hate my life..
what am i without my mummy..
what am i without my mummy...

i miss my mummy..
maybe an illusion..
i dun really care right now..

i hate my life.

angels

like this song.
been on replay for the past few hours..
lyrics oso sorta.. sound like they.. mean something..
(eventho i cant say i hav a Clue what he's singing about..)

---

Broken Angel Lyrics

by Hanson

So small, yet still so proud
At night before he dreams he looks into the clouds
A high flyer's what I want to be
Seems they won't let me, says I'm too small
I don't feel small at all

Break my dreams, that's what they'll do
Well I'm going to run away and learn to fly like you
I'm going to go so high and swoop so low
You can't bring me down, going to be so proud

Little angel you got to learn to fly
Get up and earn your wings tonight
Little angel just look in my eyes
Get up and earn your wings tonight

Push and shove then climb aboard
This is the shuttle train to the top of the world
When you look around what do you see
These are all high flyers
But none of these high flyers look like me

What is that supposed to mean
What am I supposed to be

I pull my way up through this crowd
To find your body crushed on the ground
It's so obvious, why couldn't you see
That you can't go high flying without a pair of high-flyer wings

Little one's broken lying on the ground
Trying to get up 'till his last breath out
Wings are strune everywhere, there's blood all around
'Cause even angel's die, but that light just fades
It's so sad, but he'd be so proud

Broken angel you've got to learn to fly
Get up and earn your wings tonight
Broken angel just look in my eyes
Get up and earn you wings tonight
Get up and earn your wings, earn your wings tonight

---

the world is in balance.
everything is so called equal n fair.
because everything has to give n take something.. somewhere..

too lazy to say more..

know

Had a couple things worthy of the 99th n 100th post.

cant remember them anymore.

---

I wish my dad would go away.

so tat i can jump of a building
without feeling too much like i shudnt.

Feeling really sleepy.
N hungry.

taking a psycho test.
guess we'll noe if im insane.

i shud be.
Tat which i tot was wrong, seems to be right.
tat which i tot was right, has gone wrong.

And everyday wrong comes stabbing me in the chest, smiling, telling me wrong is the new right.

Fckin Friendster and its fckin Blogs!!!

U guys want a post?!

Fine!!

Fckin Friendster and its fckin Blogs!!!

So blogs are getting more n more 'in' these days..
N friendster wants to cash in on it..

And EVERYONE is starting a blog (ok at that point i had to pause for a while, coz i started bleeding.. hehheh..)
Anyways, back to wat i was saying,
EVERYONE is starting a blog because its 'cool'!
Because its the 'In' thing to do!
Because every other m f on the street is doing it! (sry.. sry.. =P)

GAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

EVERY bloody Blog ive opened so far at friendster is either EMPTY, or has ONE Bloody Post!!!
WAT THE HELL!!!???
(not to mention the fact that that one bloody post basically consist of dem saying that they dont noe wat to write... -_-" DEN DUN START A BLOODY BLOG DEN!!!)

ok..maybe some of them were considering a blog.. n wen friendster came along.. (n Everyone they knew started getting one on friendster!), they figured, hey, wat the heck, i can start a blog here..
But oh god PLEASE!!!
Treat your blog like a blog!!!

P-O-S-T something!!!!

Bloody Friendster has demeaned the sanctity of blogs...
(haha i honestly have no idea whether tat was even English..)

How can they not see that a Blog, is a Responsibility!
U cant jus start one up and leave it der to rot!
U have a responsibility to your Readers.. to the blogging community..
(n im actually being serious here..)

Wat readers?!
Ok, so technically ur blog isnt really a blog, n u dun hav any readers..
Fine.
But now..
the name of blogs has jus been washed down...

in friendster
blogs are everywhere
n they are nothing..
blogs.. have become nothing...

dam friendster..

heh..wonder if im making any sense..

---

Normally, since id already posted the top part of this post..
id post this one in a new post..

But im almost at my 100th post..
N i dun wanna waste n cheat to get there..
i mean..
its a short one.. so might as well join it..
n im trying not to make my 100th a crap one ok?
=P

Advertisement at Friendster:
Graphics: Guy sitting on bed, pointing remote at us/the screen/audience/watever..
Caption: If you knew that today was a great day to hit the town with Julie, maybe you wouldn't be in bed watching TV right now..
Advert for: friendster joint horoscopes..

Even if i say nothing about how, if he wanted to hit town with Julie, wouldn't he have jus gone?! As if he'd stayed back because he TOT it wud be a bad day out wit her..
Or if he actually WAS miserable being in bed and watchin TV, HE WUD HAVE BLOODY ASKED HER OUT ALREADY!!!
And also nothing about, friendster and its bloody joint FAKE *prostitute horoscopes!!! (n how stupid n annoying n GAAHHHH!!! it is!!!)

Ahem Ahem
if we were in bed, watching TV right now, WE WOULDN'T be able to SEE the Bloody ADVERT!!!

bye

P.S. obviously and emotional post?! PMS maybe?! =P Altho technically (i have no idea why i like this word so much.. i used it even when theres nothing technical involved.. Hmmm..) Women are Forever under PMS, coz its a CYCLE!!! Its Always PRE the next Cycle Anyways! =P

*Sh*fie will get the part about the prostitute.. =P
Hrrmmmpphhffffff!

Eeyore..Eeyore..

All donkeys look and work like donkeys, and can breed with other donkeys, to produce more donkeys which themselves can interbreed.

HhaHAHAHahahahhahHAHAhhahahhHAhHHAhHAHaaaa............

*grins*

Who else finds that fuuUUUuun?! =P

Officially the Best bit in Bio! =P

Oh look, a fool.

Your Brain is 73.33% Female, 26.67% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Yea right... Oh look! Check out the date! Heh..

He tests his worth..

They say:
No guy is worth your tears.
The one that is will never make you cry.

I never did believe in that.
I've always believed that its okay to cry for the one you love.

Not to say that i think he should. make u cry that is.
But its okay.
And he probably will anyways.

{is he worth the tears?}

besides, it might not be bcoz he caused pain per se..
if shes crying because of you, for you, that might be a good thing..

{yes.}

might

(Heard that Fribit?! Besides, it was only because she didnt wanna Lose u!)

he tests his worth..

I Say:
he shouldn't hurt you

love bites

F*ckd up the math paper.
ha.

---

I love the Moffatts.
Say what u might..
but they never fail to make me smile. (actually tats a line tat sounds nice.. =P)

Id upload Misery here..
if i only knew how.. =P

(Actually i mean it.. wen i get stressed out.. their music helps.. helps me feel better.)

---

Music.

Music helps me study.
im sure lots of u agree. (if ure not ancient like a certain math teacher i know that is..)
It blocks out all the other excess noise..
somehow i can concentrate wit in blasting in my brain.

it blocks out my thoughts..

Tats why when i get pissed off, i blast it..
Really really loud..
really really Really loud...

...like right now...

When im under stress n all..

The other thing i do
wud be to bite myself..
So if u see hickeys on me..
dun worry..its not due to pda.

---

Oh so Todays the 31st..

I remembered..a couple hours late maybe, but t'least i did..
(den again, duh..)

Thing is, i waited until this morning before i realised Yesterday was the 30th..
Dam..
Missed Scotts birthday..
(Hahahhaaa... so im obsessed. =P)

Oh but my obsession has lessen..
hah!
(actually id like to think of it as Matured.. ;) =P)
See, besides the birthday missing..
jus a couple hours ago I Miss U Like Crazy was playing on MTV.
Didnt really stay to watch.
ha. =P
(like u care...)

---

Somebody gives me bad dreams..

N tat somebody is not It the clown.

Oh so apparently ders tis new show out called It n the Children or something like tat..

Hmmmmm...

Oh n i wanna watch Sepet. ;) ;) ;)

---

...

I should be studying..

really..

Tats not gonna work out though..

---

Im sleepy.

Im bored.

Bye.

---

---

Fabes will be proud to know..

Im listening to:
The Blowers Daughter - Damien Rice n
Whiskey Lullaby - Brad Paisley

...
suitable..
...

---

jus realised
the title
works both ways..

Go figure.

Waiting for my pilot to come

"That's definitely so." Grinning, he finally met her stare and took in a sudden breath. There was something so geniune and good within her eyes, that he felt himself almost needing her. It was like he was slowly drinking from her gaze, gathering some sort of strength from her but at the same time wondering what the hell he would ever do without her again. How was it possible to feel so dependent upon her within such a short period of time?

---

GOD! I CANT ReSIst! =P

hahaa...

Emm.. as a special dedication to an old friend whos been reading this blog, i'll quote another story..
(You'll have to forgive me if i dont have the exact words tho.. :) )

-So, What time are u going off to bed?
~*smiles* i dont sleep much..
-Why not?
~*grins* No cute chick to come to bed with me.
-Well.. If u still think im cute n all.. Lets go to bed together. ;)
-U'll go to your bed, I'll go to My bed.. We'll go to bed together! ;)

:)
and..

-U were great in bed last nite! ;)

=)

---

Back to the other story!

Her pleading stare broke him down a little, and somewhere inside he just knew that she felt the same way about him. Despite all of his insecurities, and all of the doubts he felt about himself, this was something he was suddenly completely sure of. With that in mind, he slowly opened his mouth and murmured, "I need you. . ." softly, his eyes turning glossy as they threatened to hold back his tears.

Cameron's eyes filled up, but she rapidly blinked to keep from losing composure. She whispered his name, sounding a bit awed by his words as she reached up and gently placed a hand on his cheek. That mere touch was something he'd been longing for for such a long time now, that his eyes automatically closed and he leaned his face closer to her hand, relishing in any closeness with her. Somewhere up above he could see colors and hear explosions ringing in his ears, but he wasn't sure whether they were real fireworks, or just the ones in his head. In any case, he placed both hands on the sides of her face and leaned in, the bill of his hat gently bumping her forehead, and they both laughed softly. Tilting his head a bit more, he leaned in once more, his lips coming in contact with hers, and a strange sweetness filling him up. The gentleness of her mouth made his heart flutter slightly, and he pressed his own lips firmly against hers, almost addicted to the way he needed this, the way he needed her. . . The more he kissed her, the more he began falling downward in the back of his mind, all sense of comprehension vacating him, allowing his heart to completely take over his body.

He snaked an arm around her waist to pull her closer to him and she timidly placed a hand on his chest, running it slowly up to his neck and finally resting under his chin. Letting out a contented, muffled sigh, he merely allowed himself to fall deeper and deeper under her spell, not even sure he ever wanted to come out of this. . . whatever it was. He never knew it was possible to feel so wanted before, to feel as if he actually belonged somewhere. The way she was sliding her fingers gently along his jawbone was driving him crazy, and his eyelids fluttered helplessly.

Ok.. This is REALLY bad of me..
I shudnt be stealing whole pieces n all..
=P
But I REALLY REALLY REALLY Cant Resist! =P
hahaa..

also because these extracts might mean something to a friend.. (Haha!)
like this next one..

"I don't understand why I matter."

"Why should it make any difference why you do? You just. . . do. . ."

"How can you possibly always feel so alone, when you've got people there all the time. . . I don't understand it. And I don't know how anyone could let you come to feel the way you do about yourself, when it's so easy to fall for you. . . Especially when you're staring at them with those puppy dog eyes and that goofy smile. Like the one on your face right now." She slowly smiled, matching the one that kept growing on his face, and she tilted her head to study him. "You just need to learn how to open up your heart more to people, instead of being afraid that you're going to get hurt."

My apologies to the original writer!

Oh Fabes, Dont steal my lines! ;)

Boys of Summer (stolen)

"There was something strangely enchanting about the world after a storm passed through. A particular scent hung in the air, but it wasn't a smell anyone could ever possibly put into words. It was just that scent that came with the moisture, and the leftover rain that was slowly slipping off of random leaves as a slight breeze would roam through the air. And the way the streetlights were playing off of the wet cement was somehow spellbounding."

---

I saw Jien today! ;)

Jus tot id let u guys noe..

Cute-ness.. ;)

Anyways.. Tats all i wanted to blog about.
hahahaaaa...
Nah..didnt think it be Tat interesting for u guys to hear my tale of how i spotted Jien.
Total groupie-ness.. haha.
Watever.

Had a couple other things to blog about.. but as usual, i forgot wat they were.. =P

So, ok, im kinda reading this story online right now.. (OoOoo pOrn~! haha..)
Its a bloody cool love story..
But it was written over a span of 2 years..
I guess in the beginning, the writer was still kinda new..
it was like ur usual fanfic..
not tat great or anything..
But i guess she sorta grew over time, n the story matured as well..
After, like the first 10chapters, the love story sorta begins, n things get kinda interesting..
But i think the story is still half here n half there at this point..
sometimes grabbing u but somethings kinda boring..
Anyways.. if i remember correctly (read before) once the love story really starts, it gets totally superb..

Err..watever..
=P
Haha..
Jus wanted to add a quote from the story at the end of every blog..
Thing is.. i dun blog Tat often.
heh..
oh well, anyways,

---

"He felt a raindrop fall from the rustling leaves, landing directly on the top of his baseball cap, but he paid no mind to it for he had other things on his mind, one of whom was standing by the fence of the baseball diamond, staring off into space toward the empty field. For a moment he just stood there and watched her, tilting his head and slowly blinking, completely enraptured by the way she looked so completely tranfixed with the open space before her. He never realized just watching someone could fill him up inside, but he knew now that if he could just stare at her for the rest of his life, he would die a perfectly happy man. . ."

[Quotes taken from Boys of Summer without permission.. Hope the writer wont mind..]

---

Oh so by the way..
I dont write..
Stories i mean..
I figure i suck..
..sigh..
..it hurts..
hahaa..
forget it.. u wont know wat im talking about..

pondering

Quick question.

Is it ok that he is not the one that makes u feel better?

T'least not all the time..
What if u were hoping that he would.. but he didnt.. n then u achieved it by other means..
Is tat ok?
what does tat mean?

It should be ok..
But if u have to turn to others to make u better.. instead of him..
what does that mean?