shooting stars

i am extremely nostalgic right now...

thinking of a million things in my past..

different things that arent even connected..

its so weird.. i wonder why..

different bits of my past..

anyways,

sometimes wen u get emotional n nostalgic.. u start thinking back..
but the thing with memories is.. u actually tend to focus on the good bits.. (ok.. tis isnt exactly true.. dunno how to explain properly..)
its like.. if u had someone who.. betrayed u.. or.. cheated on u.. or something..
u start thinking of the fun times u guys had..
n wen it comes to the bad.. u suddenly cant remmember wat was tat terrible anymore..
n suddenly u think, Hey! Let me drop him/her a line.. Say hi.. Chat a little.. maybe try to get back to how things were.. We had such fun back den...........

big mistake

sigh..
actually.. tis cant be categorised n stuff..
sometimes it works out well n sometimes it doesnt..

but now, im talkin bout wen it doesnt..

sometimes.. once certain things have past.. u cant go back anymore..
to steal a line from a fren of mine, uve burned bridges.. ders no turning back..

sigh...

so.. here i am..
listening to songs..
getting all weepy n wat not. (no, not true..)
msging a fren..
fortunately.. tis is a good fren of mine.. no problems der..
a fren i miss quite alot.. coz we dun see each other.. or talk much..
n yet we stay quite cool..
but sadly.. ders a warped reason behind tat..
its bcoz.. the closeness isnt Totally der..
its like.. we're close.. but not as close as two ppl can get..
its wen strong emotions get involve.. n u care more.. tat u get hurt more..

ok.. part of tat is true..
lifes jus too complicated to totally explain it..
sigh..

songs so annoying.. it just keeps gettin to me..
sigh..

so anyways..
a tot crossed my mind..
about msgin another fren..
jus for fun.. say hi.. chat a little..
but no.. i decided against it..
coz tis one.. i pretty much noe how it will go..
tis is one where ive burned the bridges.. n i jus cant go back..
no matter how good it was.. no matter wat a waste it is to lose..
i just.. cant anymore..
so wats the point..?

the minds a complicated thing..
tots are jus running thru now..

n den ders this other friendship.. where i figure.. my friend has done the burning of bridges..
infact, it was his line. ha..
i miss his grandmother stories.. :p
its not like we dun talk now..
we write.. a little..
we're on ok terms.. we can still talk.. sure.
but.. i dunno.. guess he doesnt feel the need to share stories with me..
in depth at least..
which.. fortunately or unfortunately, i can totally understand..
n worse.. relate to..
sometimes wen u cant.. u jus.. cant.

it is a loss.. yes..
but wat can we do..

its in Gods hands.

wow.. tis turned out long..
weird..

minds not clear tho.. but i doubt i can clear it. :)

i like the night sky.
i like stars.
i want to lie on my back, out in the open, staring at the nightsky..

sigh...

oh, n..
i know i might change some tots on tis..
n if something bad were to happen i probably wont hold true to tis..
but..
i believe.. pretty much.. tat everything happens for a reason..
somehow..
n tat.. everything will work out fine in the end..
tat u dun always get wat u want..
bcoz u dont know wat isit tat u really.. need..
wen u lose something.. it just leads u to something else..
something.. better..
(sigh..)
i noe.. tat if ure facing tis.. u Dont want tat something 'better'.. u want wat u want..
ive been der..
most of us have..
sigh..
oh well..
everything works out right in the end..
coz lifes a cycle..
in Gods hands..
fate
the universe

ders a reason for everything..
a reason tat u dont know..

infact.. theres an example tat i was fortunate enough to be able to witness..
where something was lost.. long months of pain were involve..
but it worked out.. in the sense tat.. if it had not occured tat way..
something better wud not have been reached..
..atleast i hope its something better.. n i hope it will be the last..

..
u noe wat?
ure right..
i dont want anything 'better'..
i have wat i need..

...

lifes a bitch..
good luck everyone.