obliterated

I read Potter and i see you

i know what you're like
and i don't believe in you.

Everyday at school, i see you

i see you
but i don't believe in you.


I cant live like this anymore
but neither can i stand the alternative.

you're screwing with me.

Isn't it funny how time seems to slip away, so fast.
One minute you're happy, the other you're sad.

- If Life Is So Short

Enough time has past.
my life seems to have been stuck
for way too long
and on what, you may ask.
I would like to know the same.

I want my nights back.
when i can go anywhere n do anything
even when im just staying put.
when i can play any song n just travel
without having to be wary of treading on forbidden ground.

I want my days back.
when i can hang out
when i dont have to hide
when life means something.

I want my life back.
my laugh
my happiness
my ability to Feel.

I want
to be me again.

timeless

So i guess it wud be my duty to inform u guys that i'll be off in some jakun place from tues to tues.
no net access.

not tat it wud be tat much different if i did have net.

Thats all.


Oh ya.

They butchered my hair.
Butchered.

Why do they always do that!

now i have no hair.
dammit.
sigh...

i dont have to heal every wound i see
n i dont have to defend myself.
even if i might have caused it.

i have tried. countless times.
n thats when i figured how little im needed.
you dont need me
n therefore, i wont try.

i refuse to apologise.

the meaning of happy

A guy with a name i like, which also happens to be the name of my crush, patted me on the back today.
Because i was aggitated.
*laughs*
no no, its no biggy.
just found it amusing.

:)

They say you never forget your first kiss.

Bastard doc gave me meds last time that didnt work. N now hes giving me the same bastard meds. Tat dont work. Dammit.
N the bastard meds effervesence in the stomach and come up and out as gas, n leave a fckn horrid taste in my mouth.
Bah.

im being too foul yes.

" It's tearin up my heart when i'm with you
but when we are apart i feel it too.. "

Heard it on the radio the other day. old song. (duh)
I'm not posting this for the lyrics.
but because of what they remind me..

This is the holiday period.
summer.
winter.
just hols.

I've had a few friends ask me out.
xin xue lai chao bout a month ago. at the begining of their hols.
n den promptly forgotten so far.
hmmm.
or more accurately, blew me off with promises of later. baaaaah.
:p

den ders one whos weird n i wont talk about it.

den ders one, who i let off the hook, coz i assume he doesnt really want to. n i cudnt really care.

den ders one, who i actually sorta like. but i had to turn down. too many reasons hah. boy, tat was one amusing day.

so in short. i've had loads of promises of dates or going out(s) n stuff
but none tat actually materialized.

hrmphf

Did you really think that anything was going to be different?
did you really believe?
did you really, actually, dared to hope...

No.
i had my doubts.
i know better
again.


So whats different now?

Being friends isn't just about being there when you're needed.
friends are there to share the times
not just to lend you a shoulder or a ear. (even if you're having middle ear infection)

Friends are people who want to.

And, rather importantly right now,
friends dont get to choose when they would like to be friends, and when they dont feel like being friends.
friends, even if they think that 'now n then' they should be allowed to 'take time out', sometimes it gets to a point when its not just 'sometimes'.
sometimes, it gets to the point when you're taking your friend for granted. More than the allocated amount that friends are allowed to take their friends for granted.
even if u think ure right n ur friends an ass who pisses u off.
maybe u never thought of giving them a chance. the benefit of a doubt.
maybe you never told them how u felt. or gave them a chance to explain.
or maybe you forgot, that maybe, they've been giving you alot of chances too.

I'm too old for all this 'friends' talk anyways.

Starlight cinema is back.

I wanna go goddammit.

Goddammit.
goddammit.

I want to dye my hair pink.

So i told my mum i wanna dye my hair pink.
N she says no.

So i tell my dad. Coz i know he lets me do wat i want with myself.
N he says ok. good. very nice.
=P

So i'll dye my hair pink.

Haha.

Jus you wait.

So.. u wont get it.
but u never did.

tats a lil unfair
to me.

but wats fair right.



" and no matter what i do i feel the pain
with or without you. "