the meaning of happy

A guy with a name i like, which also happens to be the name of my crush, patted me on the back today.
Because i was aggitated.
*laughs*
no no, its no biggy.
just found it amusing.

:)

They say you never forget your first kiss.

Bastard doc gave me meds last time that didnt work. N now hes giving me the same bastard meds. Tat dont work. Dammit.
N the bastard meds effervesence in the stomach and come up and out as gas, n leave a fckn horrid taste in my mouth.
Bah.

im being too foul yes.

" It's tearin up my heart when i'm with you
but when we are apart i feel it too.. "

Heard it on the radio the other day. old song. (duh)
I'm not posting this for the lyrics.
but because of what they remind me..

This is the holiday period.
summer.
winter.
just hols.

I've had a few friends ask me out.
xin xue lai chao bout a month ago. at the begining of their hols.
n den promptly forgotten so far.
hmmm.
or more accurately, blew me off with promises of later. baaaaah.
:p

den ders one whos weird n i wont talk about it.

den ders one, who i let off the hook, coz i assume he doesnt really want to. n i cudnt really care.

den ders one, who i actually sorta like. but i had to turn down. too many reasons hah. boy, tat was one amusing day.

so in short. i've had loads of promises of dates or going out(s) n stuff
but none tat actually materialized.

hrmphf

Did you really think that anything was going to be different?
did you really believe?
did you really, actually, dared to hope...

No.
i had my doubts.
i know better
again.


So whats different now?

Being friends isn't just about being there when you're needed.
friends are there to share the times
not just to lend you a shoulder or a ear. (even if you're having middle ear infection)

Friends are people who want to.

And, rather importantly right now,
friends dont get to choose when they would like to be friends, and when they dont feel like being friends.
friends, even if they think that 'now n then' they should be allowed to 'take time out', sometimes it gets to a point when its not just 'sometimes'.
sometimes, it gets to the point when you're taking your friend for granted. More than the allocated amount that friends are allowed to take their friends for granted.
even if u think ure right n ur friends an ass who pisses u off.
maybe u never thought of giving them a chance. the benefit of a doubt.
maybe you never told them how u felt. or gave them a chance to explain.
or maybe you forgot, that maybe, they've been giving you alot of chances too.

I'm too old for all this 'friends' talk anyways.

Starlight cinema is back.

I wanna go goddammit.

Goddammit.
goddammit.

I want to dye my hair pink.

So i told my mum i wanna dye my hair pink.
N she says no.

So i tell my dad. Coz i know he lets me do wat i want with myself.
N he says ok. good. very nice.
=P

So i'll dye my hair pink.

Haha.

Jus you wait.

So.. u wont get it.
but u never did.

tats a lil unfair
to me.

but wats fair right.



" and no matter what i do i feel the pain
with or without you. "