its in your hands..

so i know im supposed to write the rest of the story..

but i guess i just haven't been able to..

at that point when i was stuck in the hospital n computer deprived, oh i had so much to say..
but not for the last few days..
when my high was finally messed up a lil n brought down..
n i cudnt really get it back up.. not all the way..

because the very reason that made me so high..
i know im gonna lose in less than a week..
n thats whats been on my mind the last few days..
once the euphoria began to wear off..
it was the thought of losing it that has made me moody n lost..

...
i dont know how to continue anymore..
which has been my problem i guess..

how do i tell you i love someone that i dont really 'love'..

-
i dont think you could make me happy anymore..
i dont think you could really understand..
it'll just be one of the million things u listen to.. because it is told to you..
i dont think you could hold me n fix things..
how do i tell you.....?

-
there is someone i 'love'.. only i dont..
there is someone im infatuated with..
there is someone that makes me so happy but not because he makes me happy..
hah..
there is someone who makes me so crazy.. so crazy over him n his..
that this is so so crazy.. (oh man.. hahahahhahaaaaa...)

this is weird..

(of all the crazy infatuations.....)

n i'll never see you again..

-
my parents are fighting again.
i hate hate hate that they do.

-
the song i added on my sidebar?
amp it up n its the most amazing thing...

i wish i knew how to hold on to you