Titanic Crush

well....that last entry wud have fit better in my diary eh?
:/

feel real confused n weird today...
happy...n sad...

its somebody's birthday today!
Hey Happy Birthday! ;)
Boy i hope he doesnt see this.....haha

1st it was my frend who made me so confused n sad yesterday....but today was ok....jus ignored the previous day.

But my crush.......

You know? (God, sayin this, if certain ppl stumble on this site, theyd noe who i am aldy....hai....)
Honestly, (lets just see how many people will believe this!) i only want him as a friend.
From the begining, the first time i saw him, was introduced to him, I was immediately attracted!
Not sure wat it was. I dun think its was bcoz hes cute. At first i tot, only i tot he was cute, but dat wasnt true...lots of peeps think so. ;)
Maybe it was his smile! His handshake!
I noticed that he had a nice firm grip!
I dun get that alot...even from guys. Sometimes i feel i grip harder then the guys....n have to let go some.. ;)
Hes smile is just Amazing, ya noe!
The sweetest ever!
N the BEST thing about him is dat, He ALWAYS smiles!
A-L-W-A-Y-S
Its amazing! How can u not admire him!
He has The Most Amazing smile! ;)
cant help melting... ;)

N yet, from the begining i knew i dint want him in the special way.
Especially since i dun really noe him n he doesnt really noe me...
Maybe if i got to noe him better.....but i havent yet, so i dun n cant want him dat way.
N i really dun!
He has a crush y'noe...
N i swear i have no problem with dat...
Wen he told me, i just laughed (it was online, so it wasnt as if i was acting)
N wen he talks about it, i just wanna help him...I dun mind at all!

N yet, im getting more n more desperate!
hahaha...
The more time i spend chatting wit him...the more i miss him n get sad...
The more i want to be friends, better friends...closer...
i wanna help him...
i wan him to open up to me...come to me...
MWahaha! But wat can i expect?! He hardly noes me...

I keep pushin my luck...askin him out n all...
hai....haha pity the poor fella...wanna reject oso susah! haha
but girls can tell. ;)
Poor fella. Hahaha!

He's not my type! ;)
Atleast i dun think so.
Well 1st of, he doesnt look my type! *grins*
N well, ya the things id like to do with my boyfren.. (hooi dun think so far! ;) )
lean on him...emotinally n physically...
well...he doesnt seem like that~! hehehe...

Hes real sweet n friendly n caring!
His friends just have to most fantastic things to say about him!;)
He msged me for 4 hrs that day! Poor fella! ;)
I think he was too sweet to get rid of me...
i think after that he tried to avoid me online though! Mwahaha.
i think la....im sensitive...
There was this once, just a few weeks after meetin him, our coll had tis special occasion, so we had like 1 cls for the day.
after class i wasnt sure wat i was goin to do...
A couple of my classmates were goin to the movies wit their friends. I was just askin them about it.
They probably felt obligated to ask me, ya know? N they were like, "wanna come ah?"
The prob was, it was kinda obvious how insincere they were! hahaha. :)
No qualms though. ;) we werent really close, n they prob jus wantd to hang out wit their friends...
So i declined. ;)

But den, i met wit downstairs, n he was tellin me of goin to the movies wit His friends!
N he asked "Wanna come?!"!!! He asked me with the sweetest smile! That cheeky wide friendly grin!
(GOd, i can still picture it! ;) )
He was so friendly, SO sincere! I was TOtally taken aback!
Hmpff!
=)
Unfortunately though....i cudnt really say yes as he was goin wit his friends that i didnt noe, n it wud have been a little awkward...Outsider ya noe... :)
unless it was me thinking too much n him being a great actor la! hahaha ;) but it seemed really sweet...

he was always real friendly to me...
chattin wit me wen we met....
his smile.....! =)

I THINK (or tot) he got umm scared after a while though...mwahahah
Seemed like he was avoidin me a little...
More recently, when i talked to him, hed talked for a while, den hed turn to his friend and start talkin to them...leavin me feelin awkward! ;)
sighs...

Even more recently, jus a few days ago...we were standing quite near each other after school, but he didnt greet me, until he walked pass me n i said hi...he replied with a really hurried weird hi!
*grins*
BUT, just a short while later, we bumped into each at a shoppin mall...
I jus said hi n was about to walk on wen He sorta initiated a conversation...short one...but he did start it. ;)
N again another while later, wen we bumped into each other again...

N den its been online...
Sometimes i think hes avoidin me...
or jus not talkin to me coz hes busy with other things (read: rather be doin other stuff or talkin to other people) ;)
But sometimes, again he initiates a conversation.... ;)

hahaha, I keep thinking of the poor fella being bombarded by my invitations!
hehehe...
well we're both goin to the same mall tomorrow, or rather today (its 2.40am)
I hope we will bump into each other...
but i doubt it...
n i did ask him to join us...but i just dun think he will.... :)

oh well...to tomorrow den! ;)

p.s. he's into the Coolest activities! N he's SO talented! ;) (hes perfect wei!)
Hobbies i wish I knew how to do...but theres nobody to teach me...n nobody to go with me to try things
out. ;/ N ofCourse i cant ask him! hahaha. Pity d fella!

oh well. toodeloo now. ;)

Cheers!