facing the land of the living

It's Monday.

only monday n im having the worse week of my life.

The bad news is, im not exaggerating.

Thinking thoughts i've never thought before.
Feeling things i've never felt before.
..
Doing things i've never done before.. (severity-wise i guess)
well.. that was yesterday n the day before. but all the same...

breaking down.
n all i wish to do when i break down is to
1) die.
2) curl up, burry my face n cry.
3) die.

whats worse.
time doesnt stop n wait for you
n neither do your responsibilities.
having my world turn dark n end doesnt excuse me from the exam at the end of the week.
the exam i cudnt study for in the first place.
the exam i cant do anything about now.

whens it gonna end?

my escape routes block now..
where will the healing be?
pushing it.
its all my fault

exacerbated
only because i was concern...?

time n place.

My prayer,
-God, are You even there?
-a gurdian angel
-save me
-a messenger........

i cant explain..
i dont know..
my belief that i dont know means much more than just that..

facing the land of the living..


[edit: you don't believe me do you]