you dont wear my chains

I f-ing hate this!
How many times must this happen!?
With how many more people!

Ppl Dont appreciate ur f-king existence
They Dont appreciate the f-ing things u do.

Big or small.

Its ALWays Too f-ing small for their liking!
Too f-ing not enough!
F it la!
Just take it will you!

sigh.......

......
maybe ure right....
ure right....
i was too damn selfish to do a little bit more...
too damn caught up in my own lil pool of shit..

n der was the point with the choice, n i picked me over you..

so ure right..


n how many times
were we guilty of waiting for the other side
to give a lil sign
throw a lil invite
n how many times
were they waiting for us too..


as mere mortals we will never know everything..
n everything of everything..

please understand..

will an apology suffice for now?..


sigh..
im so tired
so tired of life working out like crap..

"you think you have problems?" they say..
yes, my problems are smaller than some,
bigger than others..
no, no, i cant say i have problems anymore...


She told me one..
n she asked me some...
Will i tell her?
Shall i tell her?

i shouldn't...

what will you say?..


3 of my closest friends havnt been much of friends recently..
much of friends for a while now..
maybe 2 i havnt been much of a friend too either..
i was quite some in some..
but maybe deficient in others...
but the 1 i know i have been a friend to...
the only 1 ive been able to turn to for a while now..
stopped being a friend for a while too..
still a friend at some points..
but not being fair n not enough..
but can u really complain?..
yes n no..

but i cant tell you now..
ive gone too much to u while u were gone..
im tired..
i know its ok n all..
but i cant for now..
n not with this..

i've no one left to talk to..

but i shouldn't talk to anyone.

n i shouldnt have anything to talk about...


how empty i am inside..
how much mud is in my head..


Listening : Boston - Augustana


for me, its not about hate..
are you going to hate me forever?..

theres a hole in me..