Poop 2

and more poop

...

Today, my library books are due, while im on hol.

N when i went there,

they had closed early.

Right.

...

Today when i went out to the pharm n passed them the receipt of payment,

they call me at my turn n the girl says to me

44.41

n i go for?...

coz im lost.. what are we paying for again?

she looks at me all funny like im stupid or something.

44.41.

n i get that she thinks i said four. like i cudnt hear.

so again im like for?
as in, for what dude.
coz STILL i dont get what this is for.

n again she looks at me like im mentally challenged.

right.
watever.
i get it.
just pay the damn bill who cares.
u'll probably give me something i dont need.
but who cares right.

sigh...

i'm so stupid huh.

44.41 for something im not supposed to use coz its all in my head.

...

Today I finally decide to buy my watch afterall..

eventhough its not of great quality.. scratches n all..
but it is very pretty..

But just as I decide to get it..

I find that it has no second hand.

N the second hand is the reason why i Need a watch in the first place.

For work.

Dam this med school thing.

sighh...

...

Today was filled with loads of poopy ppl.

n loads of poopy things.

dat made me feel alot like poop.


the one good thing about today

was the watch salesguy.

who was the only decent person i met today.

all smiles n jokes.

all polite n obliging.

(tho at some point it felt like he was overdoing the jokes thing..)

but he was very very nice.

n im very grateful for it.

the one decent thing in an otherwise shitfilled day.

Even my dad had to shake his hand at the end of it
coz he was so goddam nice.

Why cant the world be full of people like that?

...

The thing about friends is,
they're always on your side.

Family? They never get it.
never.
you could tell them your whole story,
n they still wont get it.

But friends?
all you have to do is crap to them a little,
n 70% of the time,
they completely agree with you.
(n that just makes you feel good, doesnt it.)

20% of the time, they might see where you are wrong,
but they also see where you're coming from.
N they're on your side anyways.

5% of the time..
they tell you maybe you're not so right after all..
but hey, you're my friend.
i know how you feel.
dont worry about it ok.

n the other 5%?
Well.. we have to allow for us being complete dickheads.
you Really cant expect your friends to be complete dickheads along with you just because you are.
not all the time anyways. =P
now n den, you do need a little kick in the butt.
or maybe just someone sitting there quietly, raising an eyebrow at you.
Until logic n reason kicks in n u apologize for being a bitch.
But they'll still be there for you anyways.

I have had my fair share of being an unreasonable bitch.
(tho i do hope this last episode isnt one of them. coz i swear to god that guy was a dckhead)

This is why adolescents (am i still allowed to be categorized as one? =p) always go on about how
my family never understands me
but my friends totally do.
Coz your friends dont judge like family does.

This is what friends do.

atleast, i think so.


(actually im not even sure i separated them logically. hmmphf. watever.)

today has been a poopy day,
so i apologize if i dont make any sense.

be darlings n be in the 70% n understand whyduncha.

Poop 1

The handsome vampire..

that has to be one of the worlds biggest cliches huh..

that and the 'endearingly beautiful' girl that he always captures,
the one girl that hes in love with.

hah..

...

why is it so wrong

to want a little company from you?

why should i be deprived of such a simple thing?

even if its not a pleasure..

but a little comfort?..

..

i guess because i have tried many times before..

n its only turned out badly..

..

i guess, because i've had my chance..

just like you've had yours...

...

today i met the worlds greatest sonofab*tch.

tho i wonder why someone coined that term
when it seems more an insult of the mother den the sonofa that deserves it.
his mother might be perfectly normal for all anyone knows.

the shit head.

see, you do stupid shitty things n it makes your parents look bad.

dumb puck.

(ok, maybe me over-cursing doesnt reflect very well on My parents den..)

anyways, the stupid dogdam *toot toot* was the Worse doctor i've Ever had the Misfortune to Meet in my Life.
tho, admittedly my life hasnt exactly been particularly long,
but Still.

God.

I've seen doctors who get impatient with their patients.
fine.
Docs who doubt what their patients tell them.
Fine.

But to be so Effing Rude about it!

DogDam!

Who the Hell goes around telling patients its All in your head, and whatever it is is completely self inflicted.
Fuck.
Make up your goddam mind!
If it Is self inflicted (which im not even contesting, coz i know it is.)
den that means something HAS been inflicted you goddam MORON.
DEN HOW CAN IT BE ALL IN MY HEAD.
bloody ***head.

n Den he goes and Prescribes me goddam meds!
Wait the Fck! I Thought it was ALL IN MY HEAD!
Whats the Meds for then!
dumbfck.
n he Didnt even tell me hes prescribing me meds. Moron.
Just went on telling me im stupid n its all in my head.
W T F.

N he Also says that thats Why my other doc doesnt want to see me anymore.

FCK!
HOW EFFING RUDE ARE YOU!

Like im some kinda PSYCHO FCK who derives Pleasure from going around seeing b*stard docs n getting bloody Lectured by them.

NEVERmind that HE is the one that Lectured me about buying meds OTC instead of seeing a doc.
So MAKE up your GODDAM mind.
AM i Supposed to see docs OR NOT?!
Or am i SUPPOSED to come n see you JUST so you can FCK with me and please yourself from it.
N Lets not forget that i Only got the meds bcoz my Other doc told me i should if i needed too.

BLOODY HELL.

CAN U GUYS GODDAM KEEP IT STRAIGHT ALREADY.

psycho drunk dumbass brainless hole.

And you COULD have told me ALL of that and Anything you wanted
WITHOUT Bloody Being so rude about it.
MF.

Oh he went on n on saying
"oh its completely normal, you're completely normal, its all in your head theres nothing wrong with you, Youre doing everything to yourself, I'm telling you I'm a specialist, i'm way more experienced than you you dont know anything so dont argue with me."
MF.
Who cares about arguing with you you bloody fuck.
Youre SUPPOSED to EXPLAIN TO YOUR PATIENTS.


My friend says i shudve stayed my ground n not taken shit from him.
but tats precisely what got me into trouble
my dad started pulling me away n lecturing me about it.
nevermind that i didnt even fight with the brainless fool.
i have a Right to ask him wtf hes talking about when apparently theres nothing wrong with me but theres something wrong that i did to myself.
bah.
not that i even gotta ask anyways.
coz he was being so condescending n rude n all.

Den i go out.
dumbshit.
n suddenly i find out hes told the girl ive to go get meds.
WTH.
WHAT for NOW?!
I TOT THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!

n Den i find out its Anti Fungal Meds!

WAT THE HELL!

FIRST you say i shudnt use Antibiotics coz we dont know if its Bacteria or Fungus.
Den How do You know its Fungus n not Bacteria?!

If you DO KNOW and it IS FUNGUS!
DEN WHY THE FCK ARE U TELLING ME ITS ALL IN MY HEAD!
Damshit.
SO AM I SUPPOSED TO USE THE MEDS NOW OR WHAT?!?

*sob..*
*sniff..*

n ofcourse i had no chance to ask Any of that.
coz Did he tell me what was wrong with my ear?!
Nooooooo~
Did he tell me that i was supposed to use meds?!
Noooooooooooooo~!

CAN you say G A H!!

Stupid Moron never went through med school or something.

Bastards like this are probably the reason why we have Behavioural Sciences classes.
to teach us HOW we're supposed to behave n all.
so we dont turn out as sonsabytches like him.

But i guess he never even Learned any common courtesy.

never ever met a worse doctor than this...
n i really think thats saying alot coz,
as a doc.. you really shudnt behave in any way that makes your patients feel this way about you..


sigh...

dont wanna be so foul and uneducated like him but..

sigh..

if only he didnt make me feel like such crap...

sigh...

...

Its times like these when people make me feel stupid and useless..

that I need you...

But i guess ive to remember that
even if you were here..

you dont do much anyways.

Not anymore.

...

More shit coming right up..

so am I

News!

The Inside of my ear,
is Bloody GREEN in colour!

GREEN for Crying out Loud!

THAT does NOT bode Well!


Now.

to Sit and wait,
or self medicate,
or go see a doc.

Hmmmmmm..

Dilemma dilemma dilemma...


PLUS,

my goddamm Library books,
are due tomorrow.

When i am on hol.

@*#&^@(*&@(*#&(@&$*(#&$

what a bloody nuisance.

---

I know you are on the rebound dear.
but thats ok, so am I.


I see you are a player, aren't you.
but thats ok, so am I.

Oh.

n i found.

I am much too wise for my own good.

Hah.

---

Oh Look!

The protruding flab from just outside the opening of your ear canal is called..

the Tragus!

what an Interesting discovery!


Thank god for wikipedia. =P

collateral

I really appreciate
you helping out the way you did that day.

n i want to thank you.
Thank you properly.

But i am afraid that you will think that i like you.

Because I do.

---

N i check it alot.

I just dont tell you.

or pretend not to.

---

I was pondering this, a while ago.

n have since brought it up with a friend of mine.

Why did I take up medicine?

All that interest and stuff.. yes..
but Still.

Theres nothing That great about it.
Im sure that if i looked around abit, i would be able to find something Else that i wouldnt mind doing.

writing or something, i dunno.
im sure i would suck at that, and maybe im not That interested in writing come to think of it, but hey, I dont think im That into walking around sick beds either!
dogdammit.

Maybe my parents shouldve just let me take up Sociology n Eng lit, like i wanted to.
Save them all that bother now.
God knows where i would have ended up, but hey, i'm sure i couldve found something.

and then i wouldnt have met you.

Im just resenting the fact that theres just gonna be so much work.
well, not the work, but the time taken up.
All that time in med school, slogging or otherwise.
Graduating at 25! God!
(thats depressing... i think i made a mistake...)
and after that what?

Hours upon hours of work.
No life for the next 3 years atleast.
and after that?!
More studying, more work, more being nothing but busy. (yes, i said nothing but. =p)
Whats gonna happen to home life?
How are we even gonna Get there.
N whens the time for us to play?!

when will it be my time to play?

I have always been so sure...
All these issues.. its not like i never thought about them.
I have. a million times.
But i Always, always came back and said, 'but its what i wanna do, and i know it.'

But not now.
who cares about being a doc, theres nothing great about it.

I could find something else.
Something else thats just as fine.

And then.
Then, atleast i'd have a normal life.

Why shouldnt I be allowed to enjoy mine?

*just had a long conversation with bro about this.
surprisingly he actually discussed my options rather seriously.
i would have thought everyone wud have just kicked me and told me t'is too late.
which is pretty much wats on My mind.
LOL
"*insert bros name* says (3:38 AM):
GAH, its 5.37am, i was studying for a test, i spend 1hr talking to u abt wad u like and wad u wanna be ans ITS ALL JUIST A PHASE??????"
HAHA...

aih.. how i know my bro so nice layan me so much dunno for what... =P

So neways.. i exhausted all my energy talking to him about this so...

basically u get the drift.

but no matter what it is, whatever interest i might have that i may dig up,
i doubt that i'll actually have the courage (or passion) to drop my current path, TELL my parents about it, swap courses n so on..
everything else is just a maybe.
anything else i wud want wud probably be quite unconventional.
and eventhough this (my current course) might be a maybe too, its a maybe that i'm already half way on.
(an expensive one it may be~)
once i get off, i can never come back.

so..

unless i find that i hate it after all.
or find something else i can be sure to love.
(n i doubt either one)

I cud never bring myself to get up n leave.
not to mention tell my parents about it.

so.

this is me, here,
stuck.

maybe its not as bad as it sounds.


I sure as hell hope this is a phase.

---

Now that you're gone,

Who else am i gonna turn to to share my profound logic with?


A good thing gone bad, like milk,
or rather mayo, (as ive never liked milk).

n den what will be left?

melancholy much

I wouldn't know what to say, I wouldn't know what to do
If you came back from heaven and I could look at you
Would I fumble for the words, would I be a little shy
Would I bust right out with laughter, or break right down and cry?

Oh, if you came back from heaven, would it be like it was then
Could we just pick up where we left off, and try it all again
Oh, if you came back from heaven, it would freeze me in my tracks
And I hope God knows if he let you go, I'd never send you back

Do your kisses feel the same, do you still have the same touch
Will you whisper softly, that you missed me so much
Have you heard all my prayers when I lay down at night
Did you feel my body when I held your pillow tight

Oh, if you came back from heaven, would it be like it was then
Could we just pick up where we left off, and try it all again
Oh, if you came back from heaven, it would freeze me in my tracks
And I hope God knows if he let you go, I'd never send you back

And if God forbid
You leave this earth again while I sleep
I hope he knows, if you go
You'll be bringing me

Oh, if you came back from heaven, would it be like it was then
Could we just pick up where we left off, and try it all again
Oh, if you came back from heaven, it would freeze me in my tracks
And I hope God knows if he let you go, I'd never send you back…

If you came back from heaven - Lorrie Morgan

Sometimes when you leave, you miss out on alot..

What do you do when someone dies?..


I've been searching for things today that have been long gone.

as if holding on to the past..

but not really.
merely entertainment.

lives intertwined, like fingers during the throes of passion..

so far out of reach, in a small, small world..

Its funny that i know.. intimate stuff about you, when i doubt you know much about me.
I know you once tried to escape.
You are the reason i remember the difference between Panadol and Aspirin.
Its nice knowing that you're good now, better adjusted..
coz all i heard of you were your pits..

i care, because i cared.
because you were a small part of another life.
because i care for a life as a whole.
for all the little bits.

oh well.

n what was i searching for this time?

confirmation of my existence?
of my footprints in the sand..
or grasping for connections so far,
its foolish, even to me. =/

You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say that...It's too late to apologize,
it's too late.

Apologize - One Republic (Timbaland remix)

entertainment.

Haven't you realised that everyone you have ever loved,
has only ended up not wanting to have anything to do with you?

Ann, Shu Yee..
Me.

Melancholy much?
Happiness is but a click away.
like porno.


* author apologizes for the sexual references. they are personal. or not personal.. *scratches head..*
they are references to things non-sexual.. n in jest.

Welcome

Hi.

As of yesterday, I am officially 21.

n as of today, I have officially moved..

(why did i find it necessary to insert statement on bday? no idea.)

from old blog, at blog-city.
which will only be around till 31st Dec.

(which is coincidentally the day of my Finals.)

tho technically i havnt moved completely.
n the only difference between now and before,
is that now i'll blog From here.
completely.
n no longer from there.

tho im Still not a fan of blogspot.

hmm.

So, this is once again, a semi-anonymous, no longer private, blog.

Opening.

n Eat it!

THIS is my 300th post!

N it is a GOOD post!

WEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

This now coincides with my,
*drumrollllll...*
21st Birthday!!!
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! =D

this was what i planned.. but i thought that it might not work out for several reasons.. the last one being that i wasnt in the mood to blog today.

BUT NOW I AM!!!

*HAPPY!!!*

Today, me n me mummy went SHOPPING!!
bcoz we needed/wanted to go get me my prezzie!

Which is a KEY!!! *HAPPEE*
its a pendant n its supposed to signify independence FREEDOM!
keyword being 'supposed to' ofcourse.

my family isnt exactly into stuff like this n i wudnt have gotten it, (tho i / we knew about such a tradition), if i had not MADE my mummy get it for me! YAY! :p
All thanks to dear Elly, where the whole key joke started.. which build up my very sudden desire to own a KEY! =)
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

See, my mum was gonna get me a watch for my bday.
coz mine, aside from being 7-8 years old, is kinda... MIA.
for the past couple years. -_-"
n well i need one ofcourse.
But i WANTED a key!
Like really really REALLY wanted one!
So thats what i Made her get! =D
coz its My Bday n i get to get what i want! (haha...)

n so i hav been tryin to figure out who i cud ask to get me a watch. coz i wanted one too..
now this here is the good thing about havin 3 older brothers!
But sadly,
Eldest brother getting me Laptop! (WHEEEE!!! SUPER HAPPY TOOOOO!!!!!)
Youngest elder brother not earning as yet so cant get me expensive stuff. N anyways by the time i see him wen hes back for hols, itd be Xmas anyways.
Daddy hardly ever gets me any prezzies.. so i didnt even ask.. coz hes always askin me to ask my mum.
So, all thats left is second bro, coz mummy i had to reserve for my key!
Unfortunately, i think a watch wud have been a Bit too exp a present to ask from me 2nd bro. Oso, they (he n wife) didnt ask me what i want, so.. me cudnt demand prezzies. (I got a blouse btw. Ty! :) )

So today me n mummy go walk..
n the thing is... I found this REally Really nice Watch!!
n me waaaaaaaaaaannn..
In fact I found 2! N i had as yet Not found any real nice lookin watches!
So me was all wanting the watch n stuff.. coz it was pweetty..
but me Knew me Needed to Get the Key! (NEED!)
the watch can be bought any time.
but the Key, has to be this day! =P

SO!
it was like..
you CANT have your cake n EAT it..
so me went n very happily bought me key! :)

n den when daddy saw me key..
daddy was all like..
hmmm... you know where you shudve gone? you shudve gone to Tiffanys. (sweat. my dad is insane like that..)
n he harped on it for a while...
nvmind that my mum had already BOUGHT the key.

he had me go online to search for stuff from Tiffanys n all.
n i thought it was all weird coz... wasnt it a little too late!
n i was like, ' i cant find any of their pics.'
n he went.. ' Oh.. Hmm.... We shall go find you something nice."
Dad : " We'll see if theres something cute.. something nice.. Den we'll go get for u ok."
*gasp!* (can you HEAR the doors opening?!)
Me : "Daddy get me a watch!"
Dad : Ok. When you want to go find?
Me : Actually, i saw a nice one just now..
Dad : How much?
Me : 300 bucks.
Dad : So cheap?! We'll find a nice one then daddy buy for you ok.
Me : THANK YOU DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL!

N Den i cudnt stop Jumping around, no, HOPPING around saying (to myself ofcourse..)
Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy n
Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy !!! =D

SO HAPPY OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess.. it must be bcoz its a 21st..
SPECIAL n all.. :)

See! You CAN have your cake AND EAT IT!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...


Sorry this has been a scary post.
but i am DELIRIOUSLY HAPPY! :p

Best Birthday Ever! N its only just starting!
haha..

Heres hoping the rest of the day goes as great as this! :)

Oh, n i'll Even be taking off my P license now! =)

Its alllllllllllllllllllllllllll goooooooooooooooooooooooooooddd...


P.S. This 300th - 21st Birthday post shall mark my last post here, at blog-city. I think.. Shall officially move to my blogspot now.. New posts will be published there instead.. Oh how sad.. Will post another one putting this note up. :)

Love ya all!

if i could

Somethings are heartbreaking...

sigh...

n Some people need to appreciate what they have.

sighh....

Heartbreaking.

Random

Hmm.

Sad. -ness-y

Bad week i think. Like, not so much bad things happening, (tho admittedly there was quite alot of that..) but more of.. alot of bad vibes going about.

It is not nice.


Stop making me feel stupid.
Fine, i do it myself but still..
stop making me feel stupid already.
So i was excited, big deal.


Atleast i dont brush it off.
like you always do.
Atleast i try n i dont brush it off.
Whens the last time you've done that?


Hmm.

Maybe to get good karma / aura / vibes around you you need to bring it on yourself.
Yes i am quite sure that sounds right.

*Gooood auraaaa, come to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...*

sigh.

we'll see we'll see.

Oop! No sigh.
Smiling now! (yea right)


Sorethroat.

Ear acting up again when i havent done anything.
this is bad.

baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.

But food!
Food is good!

except.........
food is bad for sorethroat.

right.


yea... seriously. alot of bad vibes been going about. (do vibes go about?) to people people people. is something wrong with me? aih. for some reason seems like havnt been doing anything right.


Oh well, maybe i should wash my hair.


P.S. Oh look!
I dreamt bout this guy just now.
Hehee.
fun.


Need to fix things.
fix things fix things.
alot of things.

But how?

your measure

You know you're a failure in life when

other people are getting nostalgic over leaving,
this place where we've been together for the past 2 years..
all the people that you've 'gotten close to' in that time..

but you realise that theres no one that you'll really miss.

I'll miss the friends i've had since college.
It's sad to know that you'll be parting, after 4 years of constant hanging out, bitching, sharing, crapping, n stuff
especially sad when you remember that in this real world.. how many friendships actually survive the space n the distance?
sad when you figure out that these will probably be the last good friends you have before you move into adulthood - the land of we're too old to have friends.
I mean, who else are you going to turn to just to sprout rubbish??

But other than those older friends,
there just isnt anyone that I'll truly miss.

Not because i dont want to.

Just because we never got to be that way.

Because you push away the people that might have tried to care..
N you tried to care for the people who just push you away..

Because you jump around from clique to clique, never really committing yourself, because you couldnt find that perfect match that you lost..
Because you turned to people who hardly give you the time of day.. probably because you just arent good enough.
Because the friends that you Have found... just dont fit. n you Know that all it needs is a little distance, to bring you apart. What would you have left to say?

This is why life sucks.
Why i hate growing up.
Why i dont even want to be alive long enough to see into my future.
Whats so great about the future anyways?

But i guess, you know you're a true failure when you realise,
not that there wont be anyone for you to miss,
but that there wont be anyone who misses you.


To my best friend, from long ago :
When i lost you, Darling, all those years ago.. I knew, even back then, that i would never be able to find another, that would be like you. We were already 'too old' by then. Our best years had gone..
You know how i hate growing up.
N you know, its me. Who else would, not just put up with me? ;)...

broken record

Yea, that's exactly who you are.

a huge jerk.

N that's all you'll ever be.


Tell me something i don't already know.

facade

See, this is what i do.


Get mad, n be mean.

Feel guilty for being mean.

Be nice (almost immediately)

Feel stupid for being nice.

Get angry and be mean again.

Feel guilty for being mean, again.

Be nice, stupidly, again.

N feel stupid, again.

..

I'm mad at you for everything..

I'm angry and i need to be mean bcoz you dont deserve any better,
n bcoz it makes me feel better..
to be angry..
its safer.

But when i am mean i feel sorry..
n den i am nice..

but you dont deserve it and it just makes me feel really stupid,
n lame..

n thats when i start being angry again.


its a cycle, as you can see.

But either side of the cycle im on, i still feel angry or stupid or bad.

Though you're trying to win, alot of it is still lose lose either way.

So what you have to do is jump off the wheel..

So you can walk on the straight road, no longer in the circle.

N feel bad.. yes..

But maybe eventually,

reach a better place.


I think that i have tried to jump off several times by now..

But it just doesnt seem to end,
the wheel just keeps coming back, hitting me, and picking me up again.

Once again tonight..

Maybe this time, it'll be for good.

Bcoz this time, i'm letting him pretend that everything is ok.
which is all he ever wanted.

to pretend.

N though it sucks that he gets to pretend that way, when it is not ok..

Atleast maybe this will get me away..


This is me being mean.
because i was just nice,
because i was mean...


Enough of pretend..

enough of holding on to nothing..

TIme to break away..

"this too shall past"

Chinese is such a beautiful language..

its just too bad that my chinese is getting more than just a little rusty..
hardly speaking it to anyone..
avoiding reading anything chinese whenever i can, (which is like 99.9% of the time)
never Ever writing anything.
I Swear i've pretty much lost my ability to write chinese anymore.
*need to read the dictionary* haha..

N i read a blog today..
Its actually one of those that i like.. the stuff that was written..
n it was in chinese.. which made it alot more difficult for me to read..
but it was also alot more beautiful than it would have been, had it been written in english.
so i actually ended up reading all that were shown.. which is seriously saying alot, considering i usually skip anything in chinese these days.

Unfortunately, at the same time, ahem..
this girl happens to be my friends girlfriend,
who happens to be treating him like crap at this moment so...
hmmmmm..
it is disloyal to appreciate a persons work at such times.
ahem..
but still, the stuff is all poetic n good n sad..

see, all along i havnt been very supportive of this relationship, tho usually i just let it be ofcourse..
but now and then when she treats my friend badly, obviously i dont like it..
n the latest drama..
shes really going overboard..
but after reading her stuff..
its like, maybe i hope they can talk it out n atleast truly understand whats going on
coz i guess, it shows that she atleast does love him.
n i tend to appreciate feelings and emotions in people..

im sure i had a little trouble understanding the blogs fully tho.
hmm.


" George, what will he do? "

" You were jealous?"
" Crazy jealous."

" Except for the hot affairs we'll have twice a year."
" Except that."

" Otherwise the moment just... passes you by..."

But the thing is.. Love just isnt everything.
it isnt enough.
n sometimes, it isnt even anything at all.

cleavage

June was a long time ago..

but 2 years is a short time..

N just when i was feeling proud of myself.

Why do I still let you make me do things for you...

No matter what you say.
Lets not cheat ourselves on who's good its really for.


I think he has an antenna to sense when i am most vulnerable..
Coz thats always when he hits me
N i seem to have no choice but to follow..

but then again, even if it wasnt one of my more vulnerable moments..
i doubt i could have done much differently.

But still, this sensor theory...

Just when i think of you the most..

I have to hand it to him...

Because the alternative is telling you, I don't give a rats ass what you do with your life.

again

I wish there was a point in talking to you.

A point in telling you I hate you.

N I love you.
n I miss you.

I wish there was a point.

---

I met someone.

Watch it burn, let it die,
cause we are finally free tonight.