lets see how far we've come

Desire...

its really an odd thing..
i cant understand it..

...

Am currently reading a book
about a vampire
a beautiful one at that.
And the girl he cant keep himself away from.
Funny, seeing as i just blogged about it.
Worlds biggest cliches, i told ya..

...

I dont understand what isit with me.
whats wrong.
(coz something sure is)
You have no idea how lamely i spend my days..
n how i just cant get to studying...

isit the holidays? the extra time on my hands.
isit the long long nights that i stay up..
isit the laziness, the unending boredom..

i dont know what it is but its driving me insane.
n its giving me way too much thoughts that i shouldnt be entertaining..
nevermind being more vulnerable n receptive to erm unhealthy external stimuli.

like the vampire

N not even sure how im gonna cope with all the not studying..

Its thursday..
way too late..
but still cant seem to get myself off my butt..
sighh..

Somebody get me to study!!

...

does she know,
that you can smell his scent..
most strongly through his breath?..

...

lonely..
been especially lonely these past few days..

Doesnt help that my friend,
the one person i still allow myself to admit occasional longings to
(one person, out loud anyways)
has just broken up.
So i can no longer express my own feelings there,
as its time for me to hear his..

...

I think my emo-ness has been on a time schedule, for the past week..

trying to make a record.
accidentally unprecedented. painfully necessary.
ominously, he said, a new start.
trying hard, not to fail.

but he makes it feel like the balls been taken out of my court.
n that makes it all the harder..


seemingly, not far.