Baby! I need to have you now!!! I Must have you nowwww!!! there is nothing else left for me in this world...
Baby, if i cant have you.. oh the pain that feels me up inside.. (think stomach yearning :p) I shall die!!! but a quick n lonely.. n sad sad sad death.. without you~~~
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! Do not elude me my love! My heart (or stomach) cries out for you~~! No! I swear! I shall not be able to stand it!
Come to me~ oh, Wait for me... One day.. one day soon (PAH WE ARE GOING TO 1U TO HAVE THAT CAKE GAHHH!!!) we shall be together....
n den my life will be complete... (you, on the other hand, will be dead n swimming in my stomach, but that is not important now.)
P.S. n If it disappoints.. as it very well might bcoz it is a pretty picture but they dont always end well.. these love stories.. sniff.. :p But If that happens, there is always still the Moist choc cake at Alexis at the Gardens!! Which i (also) Love n Ache for n if ever i am disappointed by any of its kind (other, lesser, chocolates :p:p) It shall be the one to redeem the dignity n integrity of its fellow brothers... Ahhhhhhhh~~~
P.P.S. the pic links to the blog that reviewed it!
There isnt just, not even just two sides in my head.
there are, i dunno, four parties arguing.
Can you believe it?
that i remember your dates, but i didnt remember mine.
When was mine? There was one last Sunday. I didnt realise it. there was one, the past Wednesday. but i didnt think about it. There'll probably be one.. sometime maybe next Tuesday or Wednesday? would you like me to check? but that doesnt come before yours does it. No.
So can you believe it?
It wasnt even something i carved into my mind. But i realised ive always known it. Ive had it, all the time, floating around my head, for the past year. Ive always had it.
Long enough dyu think? Since our day is over.
Isit over though?
So, of the many sides that could be said. maybe one of them would be that, maybe my last round was.. too much in a way. in a way. but it was a weak moment, n i meant it. n whatever it was atleast it set me free. for this cycle.
once i drop the ball. n left it for you. i was set free. even if it were just for this months cycle. even if im about due for a down cycle. atleast i have been doing good.
from my knowledge of these things.. from the conversations ive had with friends (guys) about this.. from maybe, the pictures of anatomy we have in classes, i dunno.
from a certain friend hanging certain dices (is tat a double plural) in his car, the left one lower than the right... :p
that the left testicle (for men obviously, bcoz women dont have testicles) is always lower than the right.
so i was quite surprised today when i get this from Oprah ok..
there was this Mens section with a doc this afternoon. n he asks the audience (men), who has their penises (which is the correct plural for penis, as opposed to penii) bend to the left, and who has them bend to the right. his explanation being that the guys penis would bend to the direction, where the corresponding testicle was hanging lower than the other. because it would give it room to go to or something.
anyways.
that meant, n since there were also raised hands for both sides, that the left testicle is not always lower than the right. n that some men have their right testicle lower than the left instead.
ahem.
well yes. quite surprised.
see, how could my assumption have been wrong all this while. why would i have had such an assumption so surely in my head if it were not true? n after conversations with guys themselves who did assure me that they had the same idea. hmmm.
Well off to wiki it is then, for where else can you get accurate information. haha. (incidentally at the time that i was at wiki, the article for 'erection' had been vandalised and then said 'i eat d*** in your *insert relationship*'s *insert female reproductive organ*. ahem indeed.)
anyways. on wiki, i finally found my answer. ahh how wise wiki is indeed. apparently it is something like 85% of men, that have their left testicle hanging lower than their right. which explains both that, no indeed, not all men have a lower left testicle, but also that the reason why we thought it was that was because Most men have lower left testicles but it is not abnormal to have a lower right testicle.
aha. enlightened i am indeed.
me : well, you learn something new everyday huh. him : yes, n today it was testicles.
haha. yes, n i also learned that some men dont know which of their testicles hang lower. or that one hangs lower than the other. or that there were men/guys who would find it odd or even gay that they examine their testicles in the shower. -_-" which is, by the way, what boys/men from 15yrs onwards are adviced to do, just like women are adviced to perform breast self examinations. (but no thats not odd because, n this is according to this guy, "breast are right there on your chests! my testicles are hidden between my legs n it take effort to examine them Eww!" Hahahahaa.. what interesting information indeed.
even my favourite stew (or was it soup.. hmm too soupy for stew, too stewy for soup. --> soupy stew (or stewy soup :p) ) was disappointingly un-great until i realised i had to add rice! Den voila! Yummy~ :p
Midnight snack. (which means something i ate at 5am instead of at 12. :p)
I love sandwiches too! :p
(what the hell do you think you're gonna accomplish by ignoring me.)
I have been pretty much living in my room for the past couple weeks or so. bcoz i have everything i need in here. ahh..
except food ofcourse.
(n den locked in my room for the past week. bcoz there is nothing outside for me.)
So it is Most great when i can have my food on my bed! Like room service! (except i did the servicing myself ofcourse, n no one gets paid. :p)
happiness.
(did u know that bones left out in the cold, dry n shrivel up... hmmm.. :p)
Traveling again nex few days. :) this is goodbye note. :p
Thankfully i'll have comp, shows, book, games, almost everything i need, to occupy me.
So all yous take cares n tas!
(P.S. oh... i didnt realise it meant you too.. =/ )
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
i hate you.
you shouldnt get to do that to me.
wield your power like i have to cower in front of you.
i hate you.
this is not a dictatorship.
i deserve better.
i deserve better than your damn pride.
dammit you pick on the wrong goddamn things.
you pick the right fights n i have nothing to say. i admit them, if only in my head.
but you dont.
you pick on the stupidest goddamn things like you're a little kid. thats how you act.
but is scared to go downstairs for food where there are people.
is remembered the nice chocos she has in fridge, downstair, and is also suddenly overcome with craving for said chocos.. sniff..
is sleepy.
is been feeling like a rotting vegetable. hmm.
is finding that there are very few things to do online.
is falling asleep now. hmmmm..
ta!
P.S. ppl downstairs are gone now so is able to go downstairs for chocs! but on second thought.. maybe having chocs jus before bed is not the bestest idea for the teeth huh..
Ah....... Today has been a Most Excellent day!! :D
n i really want to tell you ALL about it.. haha.. BUT!
but.. its 6am now.. n ive to be up in.. Bah 3hrs.. :'( n get ready n all for 5 hr drive up north. n i'll be doing the driving too. which sucks balls man.
ah well. this is me telling u that i wont be around for nex few days aight? =P So you'll Juss hav to wait till den to hear All bout my most excellent day..
n Hopefully.. i'll actually finish the story this time..
haha.. :)
n heres a hint : it involves a most excellent show (yes, that does seem to be my new favourite word.. haha), some cute guys for eye candy, n something really Really yellow!!! ha ha ha. Now u see why i is ALL the happiness! wheee!
I cant find the words to express how i am feeling right now..
about the many things going on..
this is not an emo post like normal, this is past the common kind of emo..
not the little matters of the broken heart.. (that might seem trivial to this)
but the heart that bleeds for the lack of what was supposed to be unconditional love..
eventho i fixed it by finding a way to force you into a situation where you cant carry on with your petty games.. still.. the fact that you did it.. that you will continue to do it always..
the harsh tones of your voice.. the look i can imagine on your face
avoiding me..
and only last night you were talking to someone else about petty people n jealousy..
why then cant you be a lil more mature in our lives..
n you, the one who is supposed to be the adult here.
all these things just tell me that you cant love me very much for i could never hold out on it, on people that i love..
try me, talk to me and i give you what you want.
i hate growing up n finding out this is how you feel about me. i hate growing up n knowing that you shouldnt be this way. i hate growing up n realising that im the only one you cud do this to.
i hate growing up n understanding that i could never think the best of you.. but i have to love you anyways. n i do. but do you?
you make me feel like theres nothing for me to live for
when i cant even count on your love.
you have broken, the last bit of my broken heart, that was supposed to be held whole by your love. this is the depression that you have left me to swim through these last few days.. eventho i am sure it must have been merely a game to you.. but this is what it means to me, when you play it so lightly..
that i can never love you wholely that i can never count on you, turn to you, run back to you. that i shall never love you like i am ready to love another n you have never known me, nor shall you ever know me, like some have, or will.. tho that right was yours to begin with.. n i shall never know you, or love you, as i can another.
this is why, i run away, to find love in somebody else.
and its you when i look in the mirror, n its you that makes it hard to let go..
see, the difference between me n him..
i know i dont measure up.
i know there will be a hundred more as willing as i.
as i still am.
- so what can i say?
what need i say?
when nothings changed.
nothing on my end, but everything on yours.
Sometimes you can't make it on your own
Sometimes you can't make it The best you can do is to fake it Sometimes you can't make it on your own
so im faking it.
Sometimes You Cant Make It On Your Own - U2
Tough, you think you've got the stuff You're telling me and anyone You're hard enough
You don't have to put up a fight You don't have to always be right Let me take some of the punches For you tonight
Listen to me now I need to let you know You don't have to go it alone
And it's you when I look in the mirror And it's you when I don't pick up the phone Sometimes you can't make it on your own
We fight all the time You and I...that's alright We're the same soul I don't need...I don't need to hear you say That if we weren't so alike You'd like me a whole lot more
Listen to me now I need to let you know You don't have to go it alone
And it's you when I look in the mirror And it's you when I don't pick up the phone Sometimes you can't make it on your own
I know that we don't talk I'm sick of it all Can - you - hear - me - when - I - Sing, you're the reason I sing You're the reason why the opera is in me...
Where are we now? I've got to let you know A house still doesn't make a home Don't leave me here alone...
And it's you when I look in the mirror And it's you that makes it hard to let go Sometimes you can't make it on your own Sometimes you can't make it The best you can do is to fake it Sometimes you can't make it on your own
- Got tickets to the theatre on Thursday.
actual theatre, not movie theatre.
which is so cool. except that i hate musicals. -_-"
Den travelling on Fri.
- smiles
happiness
dressrobes
a singular arm
the dark night
flowers
pretty things
why me?
- sighh
forget it
just, take care ok?
If only you were here.. Id have so much for you..~
- I just had a conversation with someone who was high.
n i dont mean the common, fake, 'im high!' happy kinda high but the real actual, drug induced high, high.
Hah.. Was most interesting.. A lil scary coz i didnt know what was going on.. but funny nonetheless.. (especially since i have checked that everything is fine-ish for now..)
- My mum is doing a headstand. -_-"""""""
- There are so many problems floating about in the world..
i know i shudnt push one aside just bcoz i feel that its good enough im dealing with another.. but sometimes its hard.. im trying..
im sorry but im trying ok?..
Im begining to understand why my friends are short with me sometimes..
bcoz i find myself getting impatient at times.. n i feel i shudnt..
how come im not more patient in this?
- n i've missed you
tremendously..
sigh..
wish you'd come n fix me.
- oh i think you must have forgotten the things you've said....
David won! Yayyyyyyy! I Always knew it wud be him!
wait...
which David??
hahaha.. :p
results not out yet la as i post this..
:)
So this is what happened.
Watch out... s'gonna be a flood of videos.. =p Took me forever to get these.. coz its still very early so the quality's not there.. had to go thru tonnes of them before settling for one that i hope is ok la.. :)
1 'I Still Havent Found What Im Looking For' - U2
2 'Dont Let The Sun Go Down On Me' - Elton John
(theres a point in this song, a sound, at 00:37, that reminds me of another... but i cant think which song.. :( i know its one i must have.. n wud make me emo.. OH WAIT! I figured it out while typing this.. haha.. Broken Angel by Hanson. :) )
Both have excellent songs first round, but i think Archu might have done slightly better at his than Cook..
Cooks song was great but yea i was kinda waiting for him to do something amazing somewhere along the way.. :( I mean, he still did an excellent job la, Fantastic ending, but.. Archu did a slightly more excellent one.. =/
N then there was simon who kept on talking bout 'all things considered', n Cook being 'emotional', den i started wondering Why la.. I mean, i think theres more to it than the whole being in the Finals thing la.. the way Simon was saying.. Probably Cooks brother thing.. :( (he has cancer, relapse, n Cook has been emotional about it during the season..) But i didnt know if he was at the Finals or not.. (some say he was some say he wasnt..) Anyways, more on that later.
3 'Dream Big' - new song
4 'In This Moment' - new song
This time, both not most excellent, but pretty good.. But Again, Archu had the better song.. (Yea in fact.. Archu did rather well in his.. N while Cook did rock, n it wud have made a decent single.. I guess it didnt really beat Archus..)
Maybe Archu just did really well in picking to be No. 2.. Hmm..
5 'The World I Know' - Collective Soul
6 'Imagine' - Lennon
I was a bit disappointed that he decided to do something he'd done before, I'd always felt it was kinda a sign of weakness to choose that path. Like in Katherine McPhee's year when she chose to sing 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' on Finale night, when she had ONLY just sung it like, the week before. It was quite sad la, eventho it was an amazing song for her (coz Simon picked it, Duh), but, y'noe.. its the Finals, you really should be able to pick a good song n sing it well by this time. :(
So, yea kinda disappointing la but i know where hes coming from. Coz its a safe choice, he knows it did very well the last time. N they are actually kinda encouraged to pick songs they've done before that did well. -_-"
Makes for a boring performance but.. oh well.. It was the least exciting of his 3, basically bcoz we have already seen it. :(
But anyways, it didnt really ruin his chances or anything i guess, coz (other) Davids song, unfortunately, wasn't too amazing either.. :(
I cant decide who did better this round, eventho as i listen more i am liking Cooks song more n more la (while i have already grown tired of 'Imagine') but considering Archu kinda beat him in the last 2 rounds.. n this song not being shocking enough for a Final performance.. -_-
See, Simon says (HAHA!) he shud have done 'Billie Jean' or 'Hello' both songs he did before (amazingly well) (N he wud have beat Archie if he did..) but yea i applaud him for his whole 'progression' thing..
Also, it might not have been a right choice in the sense that it wasnt this upbeat, inspiring song that wud have been appropriate, n more in tune with the night.
But the thing is.. I think they will be picking songs that move them obviously, right. N see, the only thing Archie has to be worried about now is winning this Idol thing.. Whilst Cook has bigger issues n i think he picked this song, influenced by his current feelings.. n thats possibly why its a sad, soulful song..
So, pretty amazing.. (better than U2's i think..) N 'haunting', which is the word you use to describe his voice..
but not necessarily right for this last night.
[n then there he goes tearing up n all that too.. awwww.. poor baby.. N my mums like, 'oh he is sad bcoz he has lost the first 2 rounds to (other) David d..' haha.. but i think more like How overwhelming the whole being at the Finals thing, plus that being the last performance (that counts) for this whole Idol journey for him.. all mix up with all the emotions that must be running inside him la..
haha.. over analyzing much?? =P
ah but even lil Archies been on the brink of tears the whole night la.. quite funny that.. :p]
-
Ah so anyways.
Too long? haha.. i mood out after i put up the vids, before even writing anything but ah.. watudo..
Anyways.
I think, based on this one night la, Archu's won the competition.
i think im coming into this pretty un-bias la, bcoz i went into it rooting for them both. Feeling they each had their own things going for them..
So, based on the night, I think Archies got it.. (Yay go David! (haha) ) But i still think Cook will do better anyways.. :)
Oh well. Great for them both.
N now before i go, i shall leave you with this most awesome review. :p bcoz its so funny n all.. Enjoy! :)
- Oh you know, just to note, this is the First time i have Really watched Idol, All the way too! from the auditions right up to this, missing maybe one or two episodes.. which i think i caught up on on youtube anyways.. Before this, mostly i jus catch whatever happens to be on tv when i past by.. n that also i dont really stay to watch.. (except the auditions.. coz those are hilariously stupid.. :p)
Anyways, that oso means that tomorrow I (think) I shall (for the first time!) wake up (at 8am! OMG) to catch the Results! bcoz i really dont want to accidentally stumble upon the results somewhere.. pfft.. :p
(but then again.. it Is 4am.. n i dont intend to sleep yet.. n i generally dont like results day coz of all the stupid crappy pointless uninteresting n unrelated performing... Hmmmm...)
Oh well. Will update on results when i get em. :)
P.S. Sorry for the crazy post. :p
Results out!
David won! (haha ok you knew that.. :p)
Cook won i mean. haha..
n eventho i said Archu shud win based on the night, I've never been happier with a crowned idol. bcoz most of the ones i root for tend to fall off somewhere along the way.
But Cooks great. n awesome. n excellent. n Hot. So thats all gooood~
Oh n he cried (aww poor baby) coz he was so touched n all right haha n ofCourse that is a Plus. =p
