back to zero

Im moody..

im sad..


im bored..

im lonely.


he laughed at me for not touching the games i had asked him to lend me..
n now when i think.. ok.. so maybe i'll try one..

i look.. n i dont see why i should.

*apathy. it is to be the doom of many.


as for another he, he said he felt really bad for not being a good friend, not being around n not treating me well..
which was most random n made me smile. (bcoz id given him up as a lost cause y'noe. n any surprise is good. :p)

but ofcourse that was a month ago n i havnt heard from him since.
haha..

so much for resolutions n intentions.

men.


its not that i dont think of you..
its just that ive shown that i do..
only to disappointment..

so if ure waiting for me to show again..
you'll never get it..

but hey, its all for the best..


-
i have to close my eyes for a moment..
before i can hit delete.


i need to go yumcha.

i know its childish..
but i need to.

without begging.
bcoz im moody.

without wanting to think much bout it.
:p

Hey, i got dress in new shirts two days in a row d only to have yumcha plans cancelled!
hah!

haha...

I think, before these last months.. ive never had the chance to yumcha before.. (which is most most sad i shall admit.)
i mean, i go out n stuff, n mostly i go out for the whole day when i do.. but never really actually yumcha. :p

but these few months (which come to think of it has only been 2.5 months...) ive had many chances to do it..
haha..
without really noticing how things have changed. (wa, why so drama)

but the later it gets the less we are able to make plans for it.
pfffft.

SHOOPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNGGGGGGGGGGG!!!

ahem.
just needed to get it out of my system. :p (except it wont leave. ;))


-
who are you?
who are you to me?..

n how sad my life really is if theres no one i know...


its hit me again how stupid i was to believe
believe words n promises again..
but ive come to my senses.

we are but 21
n i wont believe in words anymore from all the lies ive heard..
but i wont blame anyone..
because theres only that much say we have in it.
(n ive long learn that we are only pawns that have to give in to life.)

we are but 21.
n we are only just moving into a new place..
a new place.
n what happens when we are older is beyond us.

what shall we have to say?
or do?

-
Im talkin to an optimist (who doesnt know she is one. Misguided that is.)
n her hope for those that are 18, that are 21...
its so frikin unreal...
that is not the way life is..
what if you get down, down to the real world..
n see how many of us dont have it that good.
n that what you think should be is hardly how it is for most n many.

how many ppl go thru the turns n turmoils (if u must) of life.. but yes they deal with it n come out stronger, i'll give them that..
but it aint a bed of roses. that much Has to be what life is about.

but if they have to live in the real world..
that must mean that we have to too right?

so that hope you have for us?
you must forgive me if i dont let myself anywhere near it...

id rather not crash farther than i probably will have to already.

-
lonely, oh lonely..

back to zero now.