deal

sigh...

dont think so little of me..

some things, they dont change so easily...

n what are these feelings in me now

hunger..

cold..

n more...


what am i supposed to do?

tell me what im supposed to do

how am i supposed to feel?..

tell me how im supposed to feel

...

11.00pm

N when i saw it move into my place,

all i could do was mutter an i'm sorry..

im sorry...

you wouldnt believe me..
if you knew how it is that i feel..

but it doesnt matter..

crossing worry,
n self torturing pain,
hurt, for you,
n knowin its better off when im not there.

bcoz it doesnt matter.

bcoz its better.

bcoz i dont want to know,
i dont want to pretend.

bcoz i know

bcoz i Cant do it.

bcoz
just bcoz.

(a mixture of wanting, but cant, of feeling stupid n guilty of stupidity,
of hurt n pain, of knowin n watchin it go along. better.)

bcoz i dont matter.

(n its ok.. if only..)


Came so close to breaking down.

with all these left over feelings of you..

But im better now.

do you get it?..