going to waste

n i head to the place i know will hurt me.....
because im desperate...

n right now i just want to stop n turn back..
but still needing to know what i dont know...


sighh...


they've got me this way..

helping them get to a happy place..
has got me stuck in the same old rut.

so i dont stop.


Its the culmination of everything.
the coop-up-ness n never getting away
the loneliness
the ppl not being there
the things u say to the ppl who are
the days
the thoughts
the waiting.
n waiting.


occupation takes ur mind off things.
which is probably why my mind is on things.

i guess occupation took your mind off things.

oh, so what, so what?

right.


btw, i wish ppl (i dont know) wudnt pity msg me. (or actually.. anyone for that matter.. hmm..)
if you're not gonna bother to be there id rather u didnt appear at all.
i dont know u well enough.


They like to ask..
why do you stay up so late??
why do you wake up so late??

well, what is there for me if i didnt?
if theres nothing for me at night..
you can be sure theres nothing in the morning.

might as well prolong the time before i have to be around people.. (as melodramatic as that sounds..)
but i see them enough.

n atleast, atleast late at night.. maybe if im lucky enough.. i can get a little alone time.
(tho sometimes it is too much hard work.
n sometimes im just too tired.)


sigh..
well.. Little Women is on n i guess that will make me happier..

i need me a dose of Harry Potter.


-
Runaway~
but today is Tuesday..
where would i go?..

for you.