P.S.

women are the greatest inventors of self torture.

i would know.


oh yea so this is what i would/might put here.
if i didnt already do it so often.
have a look.
(eventho i know you wont.)


got off the phone not too long ago with someone.

it was a good one this time huh?


anyways, i forgot what i wanted to say.

did very little studying today.

lots of distractions as you can see.
n den i just didnt do it.

im running and planning this thing wrongly.
i know that.
i wont be able to do it in the end but
...
yea.
so whatever.

i dont want to flunk this.
really dont want to.

n i wish this was one of those where you can just screw it
coz sometimes you just cant do it.
but, no such luxury.

im trying my best.
no, i guess not really.
need to do better.
just dont know how.

n the worse is that however little you read doesnt even go in right?

anyways. somethings wrong with the mood today.
i think it was all the slackin at the begining bcoz i tot it was ok.
n den tat led to the moodiness when you realise it isnt after all.
riiiiiight.
like, so smart right?
hmm.


yea anyways
so
i figured out why i cant/cudnt study
this time around.
i figured out what my carrot was.

but i cant fix it.
so
here i am.


yes n well.

basically
im ****ed.
very much so.

watever.


oh yea so
btw
i see you've fixed it for someone.
but not for me.
even tho it hurt me and no one else.
even tho you promised to.
even tho it was the least you could have done.
(not that i care anyways)


(n i thought you were him,
eventho i knew it wasnt.
guess i was hoping. still)

like i said.
an eternity.


gonna go for a bout of self torture now.

i dont know why.

just because im a woman (girl / female, whatever)

n im stupid.

(not that theres any correlation there.)


P.S. i wish there was a way.