Last day of the year

My wunny's back.
Came back last nite.
=)

Today's our anniversary.
Happy anniversary wunny...

But we cant go out today...
can we?

...

Today's New Years Eve too...
But we cant celebrate tat together either...

Adults are hypocrites.
Liars.
Self-centred, close-minded..
Jump to conclusions n assumptions...

life-ruiners.

heh.
Melodramatic.

Happy New Year everybody.
Good-bye 2004.
Make sure u spend a minute, close your eyes, pray for the victims of the tsunami attack.
Pray for everyone in the world.
N den pray for yourself n the people in your life.
Thank god.
Thank 2004. Remember it, learn from it, miss it..
Make a wish.

Make a wish...

i noe wat my wish will be...

Good day everyone. Have a great New Year.

Happy anniversary darling.

Last nite without Wunny...

My brothers are playing C&C without me.
evil.
Yes. I say they are evil bcoz they are playin without me!!!

=D
hehehe!

yes i noe wat u are thinkin. =P
hehehe
oh well.
nah, im not gonna get into it. =P
s'not a big deal.
[hmm except tat my bro is usin my earphones so i cant listen to my music or Foamy... darn...]

Lets see...
so, the book i was talkin about was 5 People You Meet In Heaven.
Bcoz Elly said so.
sorta forgotten wat i hav to say about it already.
But it was a good book.
Thank u Elly.
havnt had nice books to read for a long time.
N im readin Man n Boy now.
Thanks aGain Elly.
Good book too.
AND enjoyin it coz its jus My kind of book, coz its a story about peoples lives...
my stuff

[HAHAHAAHA!!! My brothers are gah-in away behind me coz dungu 1 (or was it dungu 2? I forget =P...) didnt connect his laptop n it ran out of battery in the middle of the game. HAHAHAAAA!!! =DDDD Hey, im not evil. Its Farneeee ok?! =PPP]

hmm oh yea. so the whole hub n wireless router thingy is set up ad. =P
Not playin wit them for some reason tho...
gah... =P
oh... coz tis comp is too slow or some sht..
oh well... hope they fix it soon. =P

hmmm...
woke up at 3pm. (was awaken actually. was Still dam bloody tired!!!) coz slept at 7am the nite bfore...
coz i was surfin till late. bloggin. n den readin.
n den worrying about something (heheheeee...) Which will remain a secret... sorta. =P

erm, played chess... (somebody will be glad to hear... =P. rite?! =PpP)
[one of the boardgames we got was a glass chess set. Bloody cheap one too!! 40 bucks!!! another glass set by the same company was like 100 bucks or 70 bucks or something lidat. =P weirdness..]
ok, not really counted tho coz i played wit a total 1st-timer. Like total! had to explain how the pieces move n all.
Learned the rules of castling tho! =P hehe..

did taboo again coz i was absolutely bored.
1 on 1.
lalalalala.

oh. they got some stuff to donate to the tsunami fund...
...
maybe coz they feel lucky tat they were out of Maldives jus a few days bfore the whole thing happened...
Penangs affected too...
people i noe live there...
people who are family to people i noe went there... wonder whether everythings ok... ahhh... probably is... no news is good news. which is true. coz if there was anything i wud hav known of it by now...

...
jus watched some news bout the whole thing...
...
i hate thinkin...
hate life being serious...
n surprisingly... im not putting everything tats gooin thru my mind down on the blog...
hmm... guess its not working as it used to... (as in im not workin it the way i use to?...)
...

...
i wanna change the mood...
i cant feel the change... but i want to do it...

so
i played CS today. =P
sorta.
1 on 1.
heh.
N i screamed like a girl! (... i am a girl... i noe. =Ppp)
got knifed a whole lot too!
hehe
oh well. atleast i killed quite a no. of times too. =P
tho there were special reasons behind it hehehee...
=P
Hey come on! I havnt played in centuries n the dungu does it quite often ok!!!
S'not fair!!! =PPP

watched tv.
lots of it.
gotta see Ed! Yey! hehe.. =P
'fought' wit my dad =P
coz of his dam temper. =P
which i inherited by the way.

Fren's bunny died.
he wrote a piece for the bunny.
posted it on friendster tho.
told him to get a blog. heh. =P
we'll see.
but tis one's a writer...
there'll b stuff for a good read!
u'll see wat i mean if he does get it. =P

dots. (yes i am hoping tat fate will allow my dog to be named dots. coz tat wud mean something else too... =p)

...
well im almost done.
Im really looking forward to gettin back to the book.
men are hopeless jerks btw. =P
how can u totally love ur wife, the absolute love of ur life, n still go n have n affair, wen there was nothing wrong in ur relationship at all?!?! even if there was...
aih...
...can we trust men?!

anyways...

tis will be the last nite without my wunny...
...
my wunny's comin back to me..
its been forever...
I shall wake up late tomorrow n den my wunny will be back soon...

life still wont b simpler after tat tho...

...

oh n Dam. i needed to go get a pair of *nevermind* ...
crap...
n another copy of Man n Boy...
maybe...

Last thing.
Wanted to tell my wunny tat i am late.
heheheheheheeee
but too bad, as of a little while ago, apparently ... errr... nevermind
hehehee...
n for the first time in my life, =P i did something i never tot i wud do. =P
i said Finally! =PpP
hehe...

erm. sorry tat theres alot of stuff here today tat u guys wont get. =P
tat infact, probably only i get.
=P

lalala.

[Oh yea, N Fabes, sorry bout stealin ur patented =PpP... thingy! hehe! I think i noe where it came from~!!! *laughs*!!!]

---

MSN nick: last nite without wunny... Wunny's comin home!!!

Silent nite... Whining nite

There're too many annoying people alive in my house.
Remember how i cant blog with people around?!
Well theres one standing somewhere behind me right now...
N there were a few more of them hanging around earlier...

Annoying sods...

N as if their existence is not bad enough!!?
They have to work to annoy me as well!!!
On Sun I get kicked off the comp.
On Mon we get broadband so he needs to load stuff.
N on Tues, today, they wan me to play some game with them.
Gah!
G-a-h!

=P

Well, Izuan, just so you noe, besides the fact that I really want the comp bcoz i havnt had it in ages, i also didnt wanna play risk coz the game pisses me off!
Maybe it was bcoz the nite b4, wen we played, 1 of my dungu brothers totally lost his temper at me coz i stopped him from conquering the whole of Asia n getting n extra 7 troops...
=P
Heh.
Den both my brothers started playin mind games wit me!!!
Dungu 1: Kill him!!!
Dungu 2: No! Kill HIM!!!
Dungu 1: U kill me u die i tell u!
Dungu 2: *insert my name*, i wont kill u! Quick go kill him!
Dungu 1: I tell u, u touch me n u die!!!
Dungu 2: *insert my name*, no no dun listen to him! U must kill him!!!
...
...
Theres a reason why women dun go to war. =P

I mean, im a kind, gentle lil soul, who plays wit cute lil Hello Kitties n wudnt hurt a fly!!! Why wud they want me to Kill Kill KILL!!!?!?!?

Gah.

no more diary crap la.
im too annoyed.
the world is all wrong!
heh. =P

1st, according to my parents, i paktoh too much! Tat really stung n totally pissed me off! I mean, i haven't been out for a week n a half now! Im in the 3rd week of my hols n ive only been out like 3 times! Is tat really alot?!
Its my hols dam it!
(oh n the whole thing came about wen we were talkin about computers. heh. go figure.)

Den my brother annoys me coz he was forcing me to play risk wit them. Wth?! I dun wanna play, leave me be la! Gah!
Dey force me to do too much stuff!!! (like kill em. =P)
We ended up playin Taboo tho, coz i didnt want risk. N we had not tried out taboo yet. (Bought 3 boardgames the day b4. Everyones on hol n totally bored. hehe =P)

Den my fren asks me to call her. Which i did. N we talked. Today was ok i guess. Generally. Tho, i 'hate' talkin to her, coz she always reminds me of the shit in my relationship. I mean, i dun blame her n all, but coz no one else is in the same situation, no one else understands, so no one else reminds me of it. But wit her... *sigh* ...we're all screwed...
N den i get absolutely pissed! (See, Im a pissy person! I admit. heh. =PP) Coz my parents start glaring at me n askin me to get off n makin bloody irritating comments on how im talkin to my boyfren!
...
...
...
Finally my mum makes me get off wit tat 'look' tat mums can make...
heh.

[I wonder wen mums acquire the skill of The Look.
Is it immediately after marriage, or wen the kid is conceived, (or being conceived. ...Ieewwww!!!), or after the kid is born...
Or maybe is something embeded in every womans soul!
Maybe I have it too, n am slowly giving out The Look without knowin how it is The Look!
Ha!
Tell me if u see it!
i mus go practice!
It is a most indispensible tool!]

.

Oh well.

I think i wanna go bed now.

Dont misunderstand! I still wanna whine about my miserable life a whole lot more.
...
too much to say.
ppl wont read.
heh. =P
lazy.

Quick update tho.
Sun: watched Meet The Fockers. Good. duh! =P Had Buttered Pork!!! hEhehehehe!!!
Mon: Midv. (bros. not counted paktoh-in!!!) played *something tat i shalt not say coz i wanna surprise someone. tho i think tat someone wud noe wen he reads tis...*, bowled, n played tat something again. Got broadband. Had Japanese. Played Risk. =P
Tue: Pyramid. For lunch. With bro again. not my choice. heh. Parents came home to bug me. (they went hometown briefly... Too brief.)

Oh yea. So now we (FINALLY!!!) have Broadband!!! (=DDDD) heh! N we already hav a hub. So bro jus got a wireless router! N hopefully, v soon, we'll get to connect the 4 comps n play RA2!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!
=D
(If ure gonna diss RA n brag about Warcraft u can save ur breath. I dun give a sht about Warcraft n it doesn matter anyways coz we jus wanna play! =P Unless u dun give a sht tat I dun give a sht! Den u can go ahead n give me all ur sht! Free blog. =P)

heh.
talked too much.
Fabes is gonna not read again.
=P

.

nite.

.

P.S.: m... ... w....!!! c... b...!!!

[EDIT: Oh Btw, the hello kitty thing was a joke... ... *makes face* ... *shudders*!!!]

---

MSN nick: 2 more days to Wunny's return... Baby, come back!!!

Christmas Wish

Harlo.

Merry Christmas!

yes i noe its late. =P
sorry la! =PP

dunno wat to write at all..
so moodless...

Mmmm...

Day1 without My Wunny

My Wunny has left for camp.
left yesterday nite...
Camp for 7days...
n the Worse part is...he cant bring his phone!!!
:'(

so...
for 7 days...
im going to be So bored n So sad...
Im gonna miss my Wunny so so much...
n i cant do anything about it..
cant even tell him how much i miss him...

Ok so I CAN msg him eventho he wont read it yet..
uh huh
Basically id flood his inbox! hehee..
But im Trying Very hard to control myself n not msg...
coz lets say i send 15 a day... (which i sorta did a few days ago wen the idiot piggy fella slept for 15hrs straight!)
15 x 7 = 105 !!!!!
hehehe...
Kinda scary coming back n receiving 105 msgs 1 after the other!
hahaa!
Oooo AND, wat if 15 does NOT include MULTIPLES!!!
ehehheh!
as in...each of the 15 contains like 2 or 3 msgs!!!
Woah!!!
hahahaaa...
OK OK, im not Tat crazy! =P

I sent 2 double msgs last nite. (After seriously controlling myself!)
N I have succeeded in restrainin myself from sendin Any msgs today!
(Yey!)
I'll probably send one tonite tho...
Dun want to go a day without sendin a msg. =P
Besides!
1 msg only costs 2cents! (Eh! Lousy DIGI fellas, kindly shut up about your 1cent rate! thankuverymuch!)
so i can send 50msgs wit 1buck! (Woohoo!!!)
hehe...

Ooo so lets say i send 2 a day...
2 x 7 = 14!
oo Not so bad!
N if they each contain 2 or 3... avg of 5 a day...
5 x 7 = 35!!!
HAHAHAHAAAA!!!

Hey dun blame ME!
Hrmphfff
The idiot fella was supposed to Sneak in his Handphone!
But at the last second, he got cold feet n HAD to be the good lil (mummy's) boy tat he is! (coward! =P)
heh!
Left his phone behind...
*sigh*
Hrmphfff
N the idiot fella also said something about making sure he brought along Alot of change n findin a public phone to call me!
ha!
But he has conveniently forgotten all about tat! (i think it was a promise! hehehee... lousy ass of a liar!)
forgotten about his wunny...

N den he'll come back n tell me how much he missed me!
Bah!
Lousy liar!
bet he was flirting with some girl all through the camp!
no, scratch tat!
he wont flirt wit Jus One girl!
One a day atLEAST!
Heh!
n some guys too. (namely Sadiq!)
heheheee....
oh but for tat i might jus forgive him... I mean, who Cud resist Sadiqs Cute Ass!!!

=D

hehe...

so yea...
he'll be back on the 30th hopefully...
uh huh, in time for the 31st! =DDD
*cross fingers* hope everything goes ok... (Note: see previous post(s) =P)

Mmmm...
N so....
Im thinkin of bloggin everyday... countin down his return.
hehe
random diary like stuff...
jus short blogs about my day so he can read.
HAH!!!
HAHAHA!!!
I mean Look how long Tis is Already!
hehehe...
n im thinking of bloggin bout Xmas somemore!
hahaha!

ok so i dun wanna talk about my lousy wunny anymore...
i think...
n lets move on the a short short story of my xmas (mainly xmas eve actually)

=P

ok short rite?!
I jus wanna complain here tat...
I DID NOT HAVE GOOSE LAST NITE!!!
:'(
Yes... u see the cryin face...
u see the cryin face bcoz i am Very Sad tat i did not get goose last nite!!!
Every yr for the pass few xmases...since we discovered the wonders of geese (Yes! The goose tastes better then Turkey OK?!!!!) we've had goose for xmas (eve) dinner!
But NO... not tis year! (cries!!!)
WHY?!
Coz my Lousy brother had to go get Married!
Gah!
yes...
my lousy brother had to pick, of all seasons, the xmas one, to get married, n go off for his honeymoon (in Maldives!!), far far away....leavin no one here to order the goose...
!!!!!
lousy ass....
...
N he nicely comes home after a few days at paradise and expects everything to be swell here!!!
I mean, Come ON!!!
How INsensitive can u get?!!!
Go off for ur honeymoon... ur own personal pleasure... leavin ur entire family goose-less!
gah!
lousy ass...

(Not to mention showing off fabulous pictures of the place, n the lobsters! N den pictures of how he got sick after eating the lobster! Gah! Wat a waste!)

=PP

heh.
k larrr...

oh...
n basically, we didnt do anything today...
stayed at home and lazed...
I got to catch up on a book i was readin tho...
had left it for Days at the 28th page! (sad! i noe...)
probably coz of the idiot fella...
who occupies my day everyday...
=P
heh...
So now tat he's gone, i get to do productive stuff!
See?!?!
hehe...
mmm... prob finish the book by tonite.
Prob blog about it tmr...

oh yea... n every lil thing reminds me of u, makes me think of u n miss u...
jus so u noe...
1.45 am. 26th of Dec 2004.
Hope ure missin me too...

Nitez all.

---

MSN nick for the day:
- wunny's gone for 7days... My Life is on hold!!
- wunny's gone for 7days... Im so sad n bOrED!!

take me to ur heart, take me to ur soul...(Part III)

Nex morning... i sense the dread.
my dad comes down late. Very late.
N i can tell tat he is pissed.
after a bit... i find something tat i can talk to him about...
but he answers me curtly...
hes pissed.

he doesn say anything tho, not until we go out.
not until we get into the car.
5 minutes in the car n he starts.
n i get a lecture.
1st it was 1 sentence.
n he asks if i understand.
but no. I do not underastand. Not at all.
n i wish to understand.
so i say no.
n so i get the lecture.

the thing is, turns out, its not the boy he has a problem wit.
its not the race, if tat were possible.
its the religion.
no.
its the way the religion is interpreted where we live.
N i can tell tat my dad isnt just being racist.
its bcoz he cares about me.
yes. i do think he is right.
be patient.
Its bcoz he is worried about me.
his main concern is tat, i will be cut off from my family.
(thank god he didnt mean tat He will cut me off from the family!)
Bcoz the way the law works where Islam is concern...
Will i be able to be wit them (bcoz admitedly, if my husband forbids it, legally i wont be able to.)
Will i be able to go wit them to places where chinese ppl go, but where Muslims are not allowed to go?
He can follow me, pray wit me, if i marry a Hindu or a Buddhist, but he cant if i marry a Muslim.

i do not noe wat to say here.
i wonder if u readers understand.
wat u understand.

N, as i sed... if anything ever happens at all... Everything Everything will be against me.
If he decides to take 4 wives. (yes i laughed)
If we divorce n he wants the children. (tis has always been on my mind. my dad didnt say it.)
If he mistreats me.
If i die...
N no, i didnt even have to tell him, i will divorce him if anything happens.
No.
Bcoz i too noe... i too noe tat after i divorce him, i will still remain a Muslim.
i will still be bound to Islam.

...

so he wants tis to stop before i get emotionally attached.
bcoz there can be no end.

n wat can i say?!
tat my boyfren isnt like tat?!

Well... whos to say he wont change wen he hits 40?!
no baby, i dun mean tat i think u will.
but u noe tat everything is possible.

N it isnt really him.
its the country.
the ppl who run the country.
who manage the legal system.
its wat they think n do tat matters...

...

is tat enough.

...

the thing is, after wat happened tat night, I did not tell them that he was my boyfren.
no.
I sed tat we were jus friends.
N so, my dad thinks tat he got to me in time.
got to me before i become emotionally attached.
before i cant get out.

Thing is, i am already emotionally attached.
But, my dad is right.
it is still early.
i can still get out.

yes, i can still get out.
But will i?!
do u say no?!
...
i do not noe...
bcoz, all these... all these is constantly on my mind>
before this they had not officially expressed their opinion.
now.
now the lies begin.
Will i Not get out?!
i do not noe.

I have never been one to believe tat i shud stop a relationship jus bcoz my parents disagree, jus bcoz they disagree base on his religion.
Bcoz i noe, i noe tat they are wrong.
but tats not it is it.
(but tats not my point either)
N now, im begining to understand wat my friend means...
my friend intends to break up bcoz she does not want to hurt her parents.
N now i understand.

From now on, every second tat i am wit him, in a relationship, or physically,
every second wud be a second tat i am goin against my parents.
How can i do tat to them?!
...

n the thing is...
bcoz of all this.
I am begining to not feel it...
i mean... now i am thinking, we probably arent even going to last that long.
yes. now im starting to get tat feeling more.
we will probably break up for other reasons...
maybe bcoz of the tension tis is causing.
maybe bcoz we will be separated in half a year.
maybe bcoz of the way things are n the way the world works.
maybe jus bcoz.
N tat has always been how i Wud want it to end IF it ends...
on its own.
on our own.
Previously i wud think, how can i live wit myself if i break up tis love... jus bcoz of wat my parents think?!
Bcoz of something tat I dun believe in.
Bcoz of something tat I Noe is wrong.
No.
If it happens, it has to happen bcoz we both decide tat it shud.
watever the reason.

but now...
if it is going to end anyways...
going to end soon...
for maybe even the same reason.
maybe even bcoz we cant take the tension tat tis is causing...
well, why not now?
n save all the pain tat we might have to go thru if this drags along..
all the pain our parents will feel if anything or watever happens..
all the guilt tat id feel.
All the fights we might go thru or the pain we might cause each other.

will i be able to forgive myself if i do this?
i do not noe.

u noe...
i probably wont.
not now, not yet anyways.
but... i might be stayin on for all the wrong reasons...

...

i wonder whether i have anything else to say.

oh.
jus so u noe, my dad still allows me to hang out with him.
No, i dunt hav to severe all ties with him or any other malay friend tat i might have.
I can still hang out n all.
as long as i do not go out alone wit him.
for dinner n a movie...
as long as i do not do anything tat wud suggest tat he is more then jus a fren.

...

ha.

...

I noe tat i probably hurt u by saying all this.
im sorry.
u noe i am.
I dont want to hurt u.
but at the same time, i want u to noe all tat im feeling.
tho admittedly, tis wud probably jus b half of it...
Please talk to me.
tell me if i hurt u. Tell me everything.
talk to me.
n if theres anything tat u do not wish to be out here, noe tat all u hav to do is say the word n i will remove it.

N Izzy, Liny, n all muslims out there.
or anyone who has taken offence.
i hope u do not mind.
N Please, I wud VERY VERY much welcome if u wud let me noe if i have offended u. n how i have.
Tat was not my intention.
N let me noe if anything i sed was wrong or does not apply. (bcoz there is alot my dad says tat, half does not apply... but still, to me, makes sense in a way)

N to everyone else.
please.
i wud love to have anyone say anything.

Oh n Izzy, after the lecture, i do not think tat my dad was being racist about the whole thing.
wat do u think?

take me to ur heart, take me to ur soul...(Part II)

Saturday.
2 days ago.
I had a date with him.
so, as i went out... as i was at the gate... n my mum was in the house, lookin out...
as i was closing the gate... 2 seconds more n id be in the car...
but no.
i had to look up.
i had to look up n see my mum lookin at me..
I had to ask her Wat?
had to.
n so she asks me... the same things again.
goin out wit who?!
friend.
Guy or girl?
guy.
1 or more?
One.

...

she raised her eyebrows at me.
but tat was it.
it wasnt the 1st time i was out alone wit a boy...
but they never had any problem wit tat.
why din i see it?!
Why din i see tat they wud ask for his name!
How cudnt i hav seen tat?! they always do...
N previously... wenever i tot about it... Id always Always see the problem wen his name wud have to come out.
but no.
Id become too cocky.
I had to think tat the world wud be nice to me.
ha.
naive.
yea, tats wat my dad called me.

so we were out...
n my dad called now n den...
sounded a little weird.
jus a little. Ha...
oh well.

we finished the movie at 9+.
den we went to get some stuff.
yes. we Had to wait till after the movie to get the stuff...
done by 10+.
had dinner till 11.
yes. i see tat u guys see why shit happened.
U think its bcoz of the time?!
yes. probably. well yea.
thing is... like i sed... i was too cocky.
Id been back around 12 the pass few times too n never got into trouble...
yes. i got back around 12 tat nite.
we did try to leave immediately at 11 true. but the bloody taxis n bloody rip offs...
long story..
n the bloody ktm.
ha..
sure.
blame public transport eh.
n i did not see wat was comin.
ha.
i cant believe i was tat stupid. tat... naive.
yes.
I did figure id get heat for being home late...
but i figure it wasnt very much my fault.
dinner n a movie i tot...
but did it cross my mind tat theyd want to noe Who i was out wit?!
no.
ha.

so u see?
its my fault.
yes.
thank u.

n i get home at 12. in a cab wit him.
well i figure they already noe im out wit a guy anyways...
i step out... guess wat i see?!
My dad lookin down from his room window!
ha. tat was freaky.
n i go in.
n my brother gives me heat.
who cares. he's 19. wat can he say.
den my parents come down, n all is still ok.
'Look at the concern parents!' my dad jokes...
they give me some heat... but all seems ok...
den my dad asks. Is ur boyfren Indian ah?! i see all dark one! (excuse the language! we are after all Malaysian.) (by the way, i dun swear all these are the exact words... im tryin the best i can... )
Is he indian ah?!
n i start laughin.
yes. laughin.
tat was how cocky n naive i was.
so he goes
ur boyfren indian ah?!? Dangerous ah u...
n he looks at my mum n me... Her boyfren indian! Dangerous eh! (i hope u guys understand tat he was still half jokin)
Oh n BTW, might i add, i found it funny bcoz yes, my boyfren is sorta indian. But also sorta something else too. N tat something else, the actual truth, is so much worse. (my apologies... i hope u get wat i mean. in terms of level of trouble id be in wit my parents...) N the fact tat No my boyfren is not dark at all! n i have No idea how my dad cud be so wrong n yet so right at the same time!
Im sure he cud hav been chinese n somehow my dad wud hav tot the same! from wat he saw. I hav no idea wat he saw but my boyfren didnt come out of the car... n he cudnt possibly see him properly thue the car, n i mean No la! he isnt dark at all wat!
N yet... my dads...'guess'...his lucky guess i say... was so So close to the truth.
n yet so far as well...
[N yes, as i type tis, i still find it very funny!]

den the laughter stops.
the laughter stops bcoz the trouble starts....
my dad starts to ask, Wats his name?!
Wats his name, i want his full name.
N still... still... i can find it all funny...
now i seriously wonder... how cud i have been So SO stupid!
I laughed n went 'insert my boyfrens name'.
n i was still smiling at my dad, smiling wit that challenging look in my eyes.
yes.
dun.
i feel like jumpin off the buildin myself. i dun need ur help.
n my dad goes Wat?
n i sed it again.
Malay?!
Yes.

n tat was the end of all the smiling...
all the happiness...
all everything good.

U better stay away from Malays i tell u.
u better stay away from Malays.
and it hits me. n i turn n start to walk upstairs.
U hear me anot?! i am serious. U better stay away from Malays. Ure gonna get urself in trouble.

N so i go up to my room.
i feel the dread.
i stay there.

somehow i feel i shud not write all this in detail...

*sigh*
tis is long...
guess i'll start to cut things a little shorter.

take me to ur heart, take me to ur soul...(Part I)

hie...

I have not written in ages. Again...

well...now i have something to write about.

I dunno where to start or wat to say...i'll just type.

So...i have been goin out with someone for
Unofficially, 2mnths 19days, or 2mnths 16days, or 2mnths 13days or 2mnths n a no. of days la... =P
dependin on which day u consider tat we started goin out. (altho 2mnths 19days wud kinda b impossible since 2mnths n 19days ago wud be the day we re-met) (n i say re-met becoz it wasnt the 1st time we met, jus tat tat fella still din noe (or care) who the hell i was =PPP)
Officially, 1mnth 20days. OK, tis no. of days is confirmed (i guess =PP) since we hav n official date. N yes. If u count, it is the 31st of October. Halloween. (N i wud also like to say here tat unfortunately for us, we picked, out of the 31 possible days, the 1 day of the bloody months tat only appears 7 times a yr... our 1mnth anniversary was non-existent since November doesn hav a 31st!!! N yes i still blame him for it! =PPP) (God, i cant believe its only been 20days since we celebrated tat... so much shit has happened... seems like forever...)

*being melodramatic!* hah.

so. jus so u noe. I am a chinese. He is a malay.

yes.

n so, since the begining of tis relationship, i hav been wonderin about wat my parents wud think, wud say...
I 'knew' tat they wud disagree...strongly, Strongly disagree...
N yet i cudnt see WHY, HOW they cud disagree... (scratch tat. I noe they WUD definitely disagree... jus didnt noe (or want to noe) wat they wud do about it...)
so they wudnt want me to marry him... as i wud hav to convert to Islam...
N its not a religion tat i was brought up in... Not a religion tat i understand... Not a religion whoose rules i comprehend n live by...
A religion which has rules tat we dun agree wit...
N if anything ever happened after i converted... Anything at all... I wud be at a disadvantage...
I wud be 'the convert', not the born muslim...
tell me honestly tat they wud favour me n not him...
(besides the fact tat he's the man here...)

watever...

besides i oso didnt noe how theyd feel about me havin a boyfren in the 1st place. not to mention 1 of a different race. Not to mention a malay boyfren.
I figured they wud probably be somewat ok wit me havin a bf... tho i wasnt sure about tat...
oh well... now i noe.

So i did wat i normally do...
ask around...
ask my friends wat they tot i shud do... wat they tot wud happen...
(N thanks to all of u who cared about me... who spend time talkin to me about my crap...)

N guess wat?! None of my friends had a problem wit me getting a malay boyfren!
I mean... I tot tat some of my old friends wud find it weird n all.. (coz i noe some of my friends to be somewat racist against malays n all... long story...)
But apparently (unless they were jus acting! hehehe...) so far... those ive spoke to (my old friends) are ok wit it.. they dun mind as long as i dun mind... n they havnt even met him yet! =) (Coz i dun think they Cud mind once they meet him! =) )

(actually tat wasnt wat i wanted to say after guess wat! haha... of well.. here it is)
Out of all the ppl i talked to... None of them seem to hav a problem wit this relationship...
All of them sed tat i shud jus tell my parents...
or tat it wud be up to me... but tat they tot tat it wud be somewat ok..
I mean, wat cud they do rite?!?!

wrong...

All of them... all but one friend.
This one friend... i shud hav trusted (n i did actually... wat she sed made me hold on from tellin for as long as i did i guess..)
This one friend was my best friend only a while back.
This one friend has heard all the stories i cud possibly tell about my family...
This one friend understands wat my parents are like...how they think.
Coz her parents are the same.
In fact, shes goin thru somewat the same problem...
Shes indian, goin out wit a punjabi boyfren (somehow i dislike the term 'bf', pronounced 'bee-aaf').. (n might i add tat they are so absolutely in love n serious in their relationship........) n apparently theres tis Huge racist thing tat goes on between the 2 races... or religions... n on both sides, the parents wud be totally against it.
Tho we both figure... if things come to the very end, we figure both her parents n my parents wud probably still allow it... eventho theyd absolutely disagree... but both of the guys sides apparently are absolute no's....
hah....
(but apparently, she says, if her parents (dad mostly. yes. its the same on my side) actually allow it, it wud only be bcoz they didnt was to severe ties with us... didnt want us to do something even more stupid. yes, tat is wat i sed. n as i hav recently found out... it is absolutely the same on my side too... )
(n also tat both guys... eventho are absolute no's, both think tat if they absolutely absolutely wanted it... they'd somehow find a way. ha....)
One wonders how everything can be so absolutely alike for the both of us...
yes... i did sorta noe tat she wud be the one who wud understand it the best...
After all... she Was also the only one out of the ppl i talked to, who was in the same situation... n had everything to risk as well...
yes... she was the one who wud understand everything the best... understand our parents, my feelings... everything.

So... all but tis one friend of mine says NO! Are U Crazy AH!!!
~I dunno!!! I hate keepin it a secret! Wat cud they do!
- Make U BREAK UP!!!
...
no... i cud not see tat... how cud they?!
How cud they, my parents... educated... liberal n all...
how cud they force me to do something...
...
But talkin to her definitely place doubt in my mind...
N yes.. i might hav started to see a little of wat she meant...
my dad with his temper...
yes... i cant begin to guess wat hed do... but i had n idea...
things wud not be pretty...

N so i did not tell them...
But i was always... bugged about it...
I was not used to keepin things a secret...
not something big like tis...
not something tat they... i dunno... wud consider sneakin around.
I wanted it all out in the open so i wudnt hav to sneak...
so tat itd be much easier n more comfortable n safer n well... right... for us to be together.
N i played wit it..
yes...
especially recently...
I wanted to introduce him to them as the friend i was out wit, if it came to tat.
wanted to jus let it out... let his name out... if it came to tat... if they asked...
the last few times i went out...
if my mum asked... if be honest.
Who were u out wit?
a friend?
Guy or girl?
guy.
...
stuff...

n den finally...
finally the day came wen i finally made the absolute mistake.
finally the day came... wen it all came out... n i was officially screwed...

Good mornin world...

Good morning.

It is currently 5.45am.

N for once, I WOKE up at this hour n not, hav yet to sleep.
hmm grammatical errors?!

hehe..
ok..I have not been bloggin for a very long while. True.
I must apologise.

Exams are finally over now tho...
(N i love the fact tat im ALL alone here, downstair...The lights are out too! haha)
Mmmm...wasnt a plan to blog..jus happened to get up (With my hand nex to my ear like i was on the phone, Talkin to someone!!! =D ) n read a msg...n decided to come downstairs to make a call.
Since its the hols n all...
UNfortunately the callee didnt pick up.
HHhhmmmm...
=)
I'll try again in a bit...

This wud jus be random bloggin as nothin has been planned...
I think i'll take down the last post in a bit..
hmmm...

So, how has everyone been doin?!

OK lets see...
Random stuff...
Finally after 58days (correct me if im wrong) of exams...
Everything is now over... (cept for A2! haha)
My physics teacher is n ass by the way... (He plans to use our Sem2 results as forecast! WTH is he THINKIN! oh wait...he doesnt think...! aik...startin to feel bad bout dissin him So publicly! ehehe... Oh n yes Fabes ...I Did take phys...wat a huge mistake!!!)
I am failin physics.
The paper was amusing.
Didnt answer the 1st question.
OK...fine...1st 3 parts of the 1st question. (Did the last part, calculations) But tats still VERY bad ok?!?!?
N No i did not leave it TOTALLY empty.
I wrote half a sentence.
Not to mention the many other parts tat i left blank...
I have not read the (news)papers in 2 months!
My head unfortunately does not feel light.
AS is over.
I got called for interview for southampton. Yes its not much to brag about n no im not braggin. Im not even excited. Jus noting something here. Kindly remind me to reply their email which i hav not done n am too lazy to do. Anyone.
Yes i do not think i will be able to go to the UK. Oh well.
I do not wish to go for interviews because i suck at public speakin...
I have been ignoring alot of ppl due to the exams.
I need to msg n mail ppl now...
Now?! hmmmm...
Oh well...i do owe a couple of ppl long emails... =P
Need to check out MORE uni stuff...lazy...
Life is screwed.
Intend to go out tmr today. Unfortunately, apparently parents wanna go out too!
N i cant be in the same place as they will be becoz i will be goin out with someone tat they cannot see me wit...yet.
Yes...i must blog bout this sometime soon...
I am startin to get sleepy... =D
Hmmm! I only slept for 7 hrs!!! (yes, math geniuses. 10.45.)
Wow! I shudnt be up!!! Have not been sleepin much for the pass week..
My brother (3rd one) is home for the hols. summer. 3 months....
So the comp will be hogged veryvery much...
dam.
I played gunbound yesterday! hehehee...
(To u noe who u are: mum n dad were buggin me...was msgin bro...bloody inbox was full! (whos fault is Ta?! =P) (Need to stop sayin bloody!) n being pissed n all, so wasnt concentratin very much. Sorry. =P )
Feeling sleepy....Eyes tired....Not sleepin n wearin contacts for long hours...Very bad for the eyes.
Dun think i shud wear them for a bit...so tat means i might not today...
(=P I noe u like tat but den, tat wud also mean tat we ca...err nvrmnd... =D)
Yes i do wanna play cs (for introduction into cs, see link above. No, the OTHER one!!)...been wanting to play for a while..but apparently ppl wont like me coz my server is slow...
Have yet to play in cafes...have my reasons...(Yes! ure a bloody err *insert suitable adjective* ass!)
If i look to my left now...theres this small 1ft by 6 1/2 ft window thingy tat reflects me n the comp lights together makin it look Really REALLY scary... (think ju-on, or The Grudge..dependin on ur language of preference..)
GOD! I Cant believe i just sed tat! It was bloody err...REALLY scary ok!
OK fine...not really scary as in my heart jumped n all... but the faces were scary. =P
(To U noe who u are again: Thanx for being there. =D talkin bout the movie now. T'was nice havin someone there...hehehe...N SS n HL were SO SO SO SO CUTE!!! AHHH!!! hahahaha! Double-dating-ness! err.... haha)
are u gettin dizzy n tired wit all these random stuff clumped together?!?!
It is currently 6.15am. Wow..
I wanna do a survey...A few actually...but den id have to read n find good ones...hmmm... =P
My hols dun promise much fun...upset-ness n stress maybe...but not much fun...
i so wanna go out...
oh Hey! I need to get a gown/dress/watever for my bros dinner weddin!!!
unfortunately the ppl who read tis blog hav not known me since b4 tis yr n wud not noe tat i do not wear skirts/dresses.
oh well..here:
I DO NOT WEAR SKIRTS OR DRESSES! I DO NOT OWN A SINGLE PIECE OF NON-PANTS THINGY!!! I HAVE NOT WORN A SKIRT N OR DRESS FOR 10YRS (cept for a certain exception. hold on..) except for my school skirt (no not tis exception..Hold ON i say!!! *impatient!*) N THERE IS NO NON-PANTS THINGYTHINGY IN ANY OF MY WADROBES!!! (sp?! are who cares... err reason is plural is only bcoz of my hs bck in my hometown..)
OK, exception here..bout a week ago went over to my Bros fiancee's Sis-in-law's place (yarr..jus registered last week)(He's 38...)(Hahaha!) n she 'let me' try on some dresses....hai....1st time in 10yrs...I look horrible in dresses!!! I HATE SKIRTS!!! ARGH!!!
=PP
6.23am.
ok hometown...I do not plan to go back tis hols...Will be busy (sorta) here...
err...lets see...not nex week coz everyones here (my family) n its too soon...n i need to bug ppl to take me drivin. (yes. more on Tat soon. =P )
Not the week after coz i'll be doin hosp attachment. Finally. (Thank you wunny. =D)
Hmmm the week after? well...was plannin on Something...which prob has to be cancelled now...sigh...tis is the source of my upsetness n stress. hehe...
den the nex wud be the 1st week of Jan? yea...well...hoping to be 'busy' den... hoping...*sighs*
I need to learn to bake. (Hi Elly! *sweet smile*) hehehe. ermm...wanted to try out some cookies... thing is... have no oven here! hehehe! Sad eh. my bro's bachelor pad la... watudoo... =P
Yes. My bro needs to get a maid too...hahaha
AHA! i have not blogged about my cleaning activities in his (this) house yet! heheee..oh well...
i was goin to say something...
oh well...
6.29am...
I hope u enjoyed readin tis! hehe..I personally hate it wen ppl write one big bunch of crap together without separating shit (i shud learn to stop cursing) givin me a bloo err frikin(?) headache...)
hehe...
6.31am.
Phones on Shaf mode.
hahahhahahaaa....

okay sorry nvrmnd. =P
hehe..
Aha! the blog made a line for me! yea! A break for ur eyes! =PP
I am insane.
Yes. confirmation tat it IS in fact 6.32 in the morning. =)
Hmmmm...do u think tat particular callee will be awake enough to pick up my call now???
Coz i might be too lazy to come online after getting off.
Oh yes, my house needs a broadband.
But apparently its not available in my area yet.
Sad.
ya..but i need to do stuff online..which i wont get much chance to do considerin how my brothers are all Older n Bigger... ah oh well...
ya...n i actually like being online (especially bloggin!) wen no one else is up or around. yea. preferably late late late (or early in this case! hehe) wen everyones sleepin...n its dark.. =P wth?! hehe...
Mmmm...lights are off. yes ive told u tat.
The sky is beautiful tho... (Man i shud take a pic! Bros digi cam is around! haha..lazy..outside...have to leave the comp for 5 mins...haha...besides i have yet to learn how to put up pics eventho ive signed up at photobucket. Teach me oh wise Izzy?! =P N yes Fabes, the link is meant for u. =PP)
I like Unagi.
No wait, I love unagi.
hehehee...
i feel like writing a whole load more of random crap.
Shud I?! hehehee... but gotta get off sometimes i guess.
Why am i writing all this crap! Does anyone care?! ARGH!!! =P
Oh, i hate my life btw...
hehehe ok i do not noe..
aih....fine...last one...
I REALLY wanna go out (preferable KLCC hehe) tmr (ARGH!) today.....
but my Parents! ARGH!!!
*sigh* yes...they do not noe (yet) tat i have a boyfriend. (Altho they Do REALLY REALLY SUSpect something. heh! Mehh..)
long story...tell u some other time...

Sleepy...6.40am.
Wow cool.
Almost 1 hr..
by the time i post this it shud be n hour...
6.40am.
Ok. Maybe not. =D

Guess im gettin off now den...

hehe...
wa...
aih....
erk...
upset...
ok...gettin off...
gonna make a call...
aih....
stressed...

Nite guys. (yes i noe. Inappropriate....err...greeting?!)
nite.

...

6.42

OKAY OKAY!
BYE!

=PPP

see

And so finally....
he does me one.

=)

I love u. (N i dun care how sappy it is, OKAY?! =P)

Survey: WHO .. -makes u smile: (grins) she does.. whenever I'm with her.. -pays your cellphone bills: Prepaid. I buy my own, unfortunately.. -do you think loves you: (grins) I don't thinks he loves me.. I know she does.. -do you want to slap : No one at the moment.. ask me again in abt 20 mins.. -is the first on your phonebook : (checks cell) .. mmm, Abigail!!! WHAT/ WHEN/ WHERE/ HOW .. -don't u like about in this life: Exams. Too many of them. -do you want to do right now : Sleep.. or fall asleep with someone in my arms.. (grins) -is it that makes u smile : thinking of her.. (gawd, I'm crazy abt her) -bothers you : erk?.. mmmh.. no idea what they're asking.. (feels dumb) -color signifies your personality : I like purple. I'm not gay. I just happen to think it looks cool. -do you like in your house: My super comfortable bed.. and my phone so I can call her.. -is your birthday : 6th February.. -will you get serious with your life : Don't take life too seriously.. you'll never get out alive.. -do you think will there be peace : as long as there are sheep, there is hope. **Save the sheep** -did you do your last prank : Serious prank?.. either last year or two years ago.. April 1st.. Uber fun!.. -do you live: Over there. Over where? There! right there! -is your ur school located: SS15.. Taylor's worr.. unless that doesn't count as a school.. -do you hang out: I either hang, or I put people out.. rarely do both..;) -were you born : SJMC.. or so 'THEY' told me.. I think I was switched at birth.. -do you plan to have your end of year holidays?: Here. Sitting on my ass.. and mutating my cells with the radiation frm my comps monitor.. fun! -are you now : Comp room. Using my comp. Go figure. -would u define love: I don't wanna answer this right now.. too sleepy to think romantically.. -do u want ur burial to be : I wanna be cremated.. and my ashes, ... well, just leave it there to become some sorta compost heap.. -freaky can you get : Not sure abt that.. I DO measure a good 9.8 out of 10 on my freak-o- meter tho.. -often do you listen to music: Often enough to listen to it and not realise I'm listening to it..:P -do you live your life : Live in the moment.. (sings) Hanging by the moment~~ -interesting are you : I eat. I sleep. And I visit the loo now and then. Sound interesting enough?

Fabes the Great

Get lost la Fabes!

Leave me alone!!!

=P

Hows tat for a post?!

Dedicated to u wor...

=P

go draw paramesiums...
might come out for bio paper...

P.S. oh n jus so everyone sees this...coz ur ploy to wipe it off my blogboard seems to have worked...I SAW TAT HUG U GAVE SHAF!!! N I SO SAW THAT GIGGLY GRIN U GET EVERYTIME U LOOK IN HIS DIRECTION TOO! =P
Ha! So der...(unless ure bi too...)

Oh Salvation is Here!

So here I was online...askin some Physics shit (for the stupid frikin Exam Tmr!!!) n freaking out n all n gettin ready to Get offline, to STUDY SOME MORE, when, guess wat?!

God Answered my prayers!!!

I got THIS in the mail!
(Hallelujah!)

> $o o$ $ o$
> $ $ $" $ o$ ooo
> $o "$ o" $ $" o$""
> $" "o o$ $ o o"
> $ $ $$ $ $ o"
> $$ $ $$" $ $" $" oo "
> $ o $$ oo"$ " " $o oooo""" ooo
> $ "o $$ " oo oo """ oo"""
> $ "$$$ o" " " " o "
> $$ "ooooo
> o $ ooo """"""oooo
> "o $ ooo o o" ""
> o "oo " o" "o " "o oooo
> "o "" o" $ "
> "oo o" $$ $ $$$$""
> oooo" $ oo $ oo $ """"
> ooooo " $ $"$ $ o"$$ $ ooooooo
> """ "$ " $ "$" $ $$" " $$""""
> oo $ "o o$ "" o $$ooo
> o$""""" "o "o o """""$
> $$ "ooooo$ o o $
> "$ $ $o"" "" $
> "o o o o$" "
> ""oo$o """" $ooo"
> "oo o$"
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> ""oo """ oo""
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> o"$" oooo """
> o" $""""" o
> $o o$ $o
> o$ooooo$ooooo$"
> $" $ $"
> $""""""$""""""$"
> "o$$""$$oooooo$o$
> o"$ $ $
> , $o$ $"""""" $$
> o " $"""""""""$
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> $"" o o" "$
> $$""$$$$$$$$$$$$$o$$$
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> ooo$""$$$$$"""""""$$""""""""o
> $""$oooo$$$ $ $o
> """""$o o" o"""
> ""$$oooooooooooooo""" ooo$$"""
>
>A FRIEND IS A TREASURE
>
>A friend is someone we turn to
>When our spirits need a lift,
>A friend is someone we treasure
>For our friendship is a gift,
>A friend is someone who fills our lives
>With beauty, joy, and grace
>And makes the world we live in
>A better and happier place.
>
>This is not your ordinary chain letter. Depending on how many people
>you send this to, your life will change dramatically!
>If you send this to:
>0- people: Something terrible will happen such as losing a best friend.
>1-5 people: You will have 1 good day.
>6-10 people: You will have a good week, and the person you like will
>ask you out.
>11-15 people: You will have a good month, and a great surpise
>everyday.
>16 & up: You will have a successful life and all of your dreams will
>come true!
>
>SEND THIS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!
>
>
>
> .oooooooo .ooooo. .ooooo. oooo888
> 888' `88b d88' `88b d88' `88b d88' `888
> 888 888 888 888 888 888 888 888
> `88bod8P' 888 888 888 888 888 888
> `8oooooo. `Y8bod8P' `Y8bod8P' `Y8bod88P"
> d" YD
> "Y88888P'
>
> oooo oooo
> `888 `888
> 888 oooo oooo .ooooo. 888 oooo
> 888 `888 `888 d88' `"Y8 888 .8P'
> 888 888 888 888 888888.
> 888 888 888 888 o8 888 `88b.
> o888o `V88V"V8P' `Y8bod8P' o888o o888o
>
>
>
> o8o . oooo
> `"' .o8 `888
> oooo oooo ooo oooo .o888oo 888 .oo.
> `88. `88. .8' `888 888 888P"Y88b
> `88..]88..8' 888 888 888 888
> `888'`888' 888 888 888 888
> `8' `8' o888o "888" o888o o888o
>
>
>
> .o88o. o8o oooo
> 888 `" `"' `888
> o888oo oooo ooo. .oo. .oooo. 888 .oooo.o
> 888 `888 `888P"Y88b `P )88b 888 d88( "8
> 888 888 888 888 .oP"888 888 `"Y88b.
> 888 888 888 888 d8( 888 888 o. )88b
> o888o o888o o888o o888o `Y888""8o o888o 8""888P'
>
>
>
> oooo$$$$$$$$$$$$oooo
> oo$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$oo
> oo$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$o
> o$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$o
> o$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$o
> o$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$
> $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$
> $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$
> $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
> $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
> $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
> $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
> $$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$
> $$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$
> $$$$ "$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" o$$$
> "$$$o """$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"$$" $$$
> $$$o "$$""$$$$$$"""" o$$$
> $$$$o o$$$"
> "$$$$o o$$$$$$o"$$$$o o$$$$
> "$$$$$oo ""$$$$o$$$$$o o$$$$""
> ""$$$$$oooo "$$$o$$$$$$$$$"""
> ""$$$$$$$oo $$$$$$$$$$
> """"$$$$$$$$$$$
> $$$$$$$$$$$$
> $$$$$$$$$$"
> "$$$$$$$"
>
>
>
>
>
>This is an e-mail to bring you luck in your exams. You simply
>send this mail to 4 people and you will get an "A" on all your
>tests, exams. Trust me, it works. The more people you send this
>to, the faster you will see the results.

...

So Basically, I'M SAVED!
Wat a pity i cudnt have gotten tis earlier...b4 my Other papers...
but then again... It says ALL my exams!
AHA!
So tat means, the passed papers that Id ALready screwed up, will Miraculously be Correct!
(Oh, JOY!)
N tat Also means tat if i go for Physics 1 tmr, n totally leave the MCQ answer sheet blank...while its being transported to the Brit Bastards by plane, the airhostess wud Accidentally spill coffee all over the stack of Answer sheets, n Mine wud be the 1st!
N the coffee wud seep thru the packagin slightly...n MARK THE CORRECT ANSWERS!!!
(OH WOW! GODS HAND!)

Aha!
So tats enough studyin for me...
I shall go enjoy some coffee now...
N send tis to touch everyone elses lives! N save them too!
I'll become a Saint! Oh yey!
N ill go pray to God to thnk him!!!

*note heavy sarcasm!

*goes back to studyin* *grumblegrumblegrumble*

P.S. No Offence to the great guy up in the sky. God only helps those who help themselves... =P
(Ergh! Cant believe Im Preaching!)

Stressed Out?!

November
The end of the year is nigh
The all important FNALs are Here to Torment us all...

So,
On this terrible occasion...

Let Us C-H-E-A-T!
(No, not stuff a dwarf genius in the college locker to solve the questions and pass u the Answers!..)

---

Lets have some FUN! =D

ONE
An Indian walks into a bank in New York City and
asks for the
loan officer. He says he's going to Europe on
business for two
weeks and
needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says
the bank will
need some kind of security for the loan, so the
Indian hands
over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is
parked on the
street in front of the bank, he has the title and
everything
checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as
collateral for
the loan. The bank's president and its officers all
enjoy a
good laugh at the Indian for using a $250,000
Rolls as
collateral against a $5,000 loan. An
employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the
Rolls into the
bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Indian returns, repays the
$5,000 and the
interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer
says, "Sir,
we are very happy to have had your business, and
this
transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are
a little
puzzled. While you were away, we checked you
out and found that
you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why
would you
bother to borrow $5,000?"
The Indian replies. "Where else in New York City
can I park my
car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to
be there
when I return ?!!"

*grins*

TWO
Osama and Bush are having a
conversation on msn!

BinLaden9151: hello??
XprezbushX: who is this!!!!!!!! a/s/l
BinLaden9151: osama
XprezbushX: thats a funny name
BinLaden9151: at least its not bush lol
XprezbushX:shut up
BinLaden9151: did u get my message
XprezbushX: whut message
BinLaden9151: u know, my message
BinLaden9151: it wuz delivered by airmail
BinLaden9151: right into ur trade towers
XprezbushX: shut up that wasnt funny!!!!
BinLaden9151: lol
XprezbushX: SHUT UP!!!! :X
BinLaden9151: r u mad
XprezbushX: yah
BinLaden9151: why ??????
XprezbushX: bcoz u messed with my country
duhzz
BinLaden9151: well well well.now u know
how i
feel
XprezbushX:whut do u mean
BinLaden9151:other countries and forces
hurt
my people all the time
XprezbushX: hello!!! whut duz that have 2 do
with us !?!?!?!
BinLaden9151: like u give guns and $$ 2 a
lot of
those people
XprezbushX: oic ^^ so ?
BinLaden9151: i love my people like
brothers
and
ur military is all up in our holy land!!!
BinLaden9151: its pissing us off
XprezbushX: whatever dude
XprezbushX: is that all
BinLaden9151: no
BinLaden9151: imperialistic american
globalization is a raging torrent thats going to
wash away our borders, our cultures and our
identities
XprezbushX: wut u mean ......
BinLaden9151: im afraid that tomorrow im
going
to wake up and see a mcdonalds next to my
mosque
BinLaden9151:and ur troops will be like,
relax
yall,
just have a happy meal!!
XprezbushX: so whut r u wearing
BinLaden9151: ???
XprezbushX: sorry wrong window lol
BinLaden9151: lol
XprezbushX: ok so whut were u saying
BinLaden9151: like
BinLaden9151: basically
BinLaden9151: a lot of all the jets and tanks
and
gunships that terrorize us might as well be
painted
red, white and blue
XprezbushX:a/s/l
BinLaden9151:???
XprezbushX: sorry wrong window again
XprezbushX: hello r u there
BinLaden9151: YESS!!
XprezbushX: u started all this anyway
BinLaden9151: did not!
XprezbushX: u did too!
BinLaden9151: u started it!!
XprezbushX: lalalala
XprezbushX:i cant hear u
BinLaden9151: i will make ur life a living hell
XprezbushX: haha ur acting like a 13 year old
girl
who just got her phone taken away
BinLaden9151:shut up
BinLaden9151:ur immature
XprezbushX: relax, have a happy meal lol
BinLaden9151: ARRRGGHHHHHHHHHH

*LAUGHS* The wrong window one was Waaaayyy RICH! =P

THREE
Last month, a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was... : "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure because...: In Africa they didn't know what "food" means. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" means. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" means. In China they didn't know what "opinion" means. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" means. In South America they didn't know what "please" means. In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" means..

:) I only posted this last one coz I liked the last part, bout America. =P
Evil me, i noe. =P Cant be denied though. =P

Squirrelly Wrath

November

A Whole New Month has come...

AND THAT WIPED OUT MY ENTIRE OCTOBER CALENDER WITH ALL MY BLOG POSTS!!!
(And Did I mention that October is probably my favourite month of the year?! hehe)
Now My calender is all empty!
Darn!
(Haha!)

So I guess i'll have to blog now wont I?!

OK Check this out!

FOAMY THE SQUIRREL!!!

*GRINS* U Guys SO have to check that out OK!? Foamy is super cool! *grins*
Warning though, Lots of foul language! (He's a nasty little squirrel!)
So...If being called a Bastard (and more) is not for u, den well...Make it For U!!! (U CanNOT miss this!)
haha ok im jus crapping!

Mmmm..Haven't seen alot of them but definitely check out the Squirrel Songs!

*Sings*

And So I'm a Squirrel
And U're Not
How pathetic U are

So I'm a Squirrel
And U're Not
U're just Human
How pathetic U are

U dun have a fluffy tail
U dun have squirelly wrath
U just built to destroy
While I collect some nuts

And U all SUCK!

I LOVE TAT SONG! *Grins*

Yey! OK, gtg...

STUDY!!!
( And pray to the Almighty Church of Foamy...)

(Yes! Im insane!)

Oh, BTW, I DID write this long reply to Izuans comment.
Den i had the Bright idea of posting it in the original post inStead!
So i copied it...Den i forgot n went ahead and copied something else...
So i've lost it! (GRR!!!)
(And Fabes is all happy about it! Aren't u!?!? *cries*)
=P
Will write some other time. (I hope.)

Mmmh..NEEDTA GO STUDY!!!

~Foamy RockS!~

on this, all hollows eve...the world is twisted and sick...

Surfing around...

came across this

Which lead to this, this, and also... this...

its about:

Student gives birth in dormitory

ALOR STAR: A student of Universiti Utara Malaysia is believed to have given birth to a baby girl at one of the university’s residential colleges on Friday.

The 23-year-old student had apparently left the infant with its umbilical cord still attached in a box in her room and had gone to the Alor Star hospital to seek treatment.

Police said the infant was healthy when found and was sent to the Jitra hospital.

~The Comments on the 3rd link were particularly disturbing and infuriating...n a million other feelings!
I CANNOT BELIEVE PEOPLE CAN BE TAT STUPID N DUMB N JUDGEMENTAL N IRRITATING N BASICALLY, well,
H-U-M-A-N...

Just so we're clear, im not talkin about the girl...
Mostly the male idiots who keep saying that it was her fault n hows she dumb n not mature enough n all that...

M-E-N!!!

Lets not forget that the girl was human... Humans cannot be either smart or dumb, mature or immature, right or wrong... We are just human.. We cant own a certain characteristic 100%, all the way..

ugh...

I'll just let u read n think wat u wish to think.

Luckily for me i wasn't signed in at that particular site and so could not comment...
I dunno how much time n energy i would have wasted being pissed at those idiots...

ugh...

gotta go do laundry n study...

to those who read this, let us pray..
pray for the girl, the baby, our society, the world....
let us all just pray for a better tomorrow...

hmm...

Shakespeare In Love - Layla Kaylif

Mmmm...Shakespeare In Love...
Its playing rite now on TV3...
He is dam Hot! N shes Dam gorgeous Wei! =D

Love scenes must be avoided if u are in love! hahaha... Too romantic! =p
Shud be watched on a hearth rug, by the fireplace...if u wish for stuff to happen..
*Evil Laugh!*

Mmm! Love this song...I'll add the MP3 when i ask about how to put it up! hehe

Shakespeare In Love

Layla Kaylif

He's fought and he's fallen
He's on his knees before he's on his feet
A sinister romantic
Oh, he's about to be and she's about to see

Teachin' torches to burn bright
She's hanging on the cheek of night
A snowy dove trooping with crows
He never saw true beauty till tonight

CHORUS:
She'll take him to the brink of deliverance
Show him that much
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it
So he falls in love to feel that he's falling
She'll let him know his heart
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it
That's Shakespeare in love

He's fought and he's fallen
He's on his knees before he's on his feet
A glittery romantic
Oh, he's about to be and she's about to see

His bounty's boundless like the sea
His love is endless, just as deep
The more he gives the more he has
`Cause both of them are truly infinite

CHORUS:
She'll take him to the brink of deliverance
Show him that much
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it
So he falls in love to feel that he's falling
She'll let him know his heart
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it
That's Shakespeare in love

That's Shakespeare in love

A sinister romantic
He's on his knees before he's on his feet

CHORUS:
She'll take him to the brink of deliverance
Show him that much
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it
So he falls in love to feel that he's falling
She'll let him know his heart
Oh, don't you know it
Oh, don't you know it
That's Shakespeare in love

That's Shakespeare in love

Me no Speekedeh Inggelisie

Seeing as to how pOokPoOk needs some intelectually-stimulating-stimuli
N how Im such a great generous friend n all...

Got this thing in the mail.
Pretty cool. =)
Eventhough id rather have my other posts up as the newest ones to invite some comments, that doesnt seem to be happening, so i guess i'll put This up.

A post thats not about Him wud do some good. *grins*

English is a stupid language

There is no egg in the eggplant, no ham in the hamburger and neither pine,
nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England,
French fries were not invented in France. We sometimes take English for
granted. But if we examine its paradoxes we find that Quicksand takes you
down slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea
nor is it a pig. If writers write, how come fingers don't fing. If the
plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone
beeth. If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught. If a
vegetarian eats vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian eat!? a good
one, really! Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital? Park on
driveways and drive on parkways. You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of
a language where a house can burn up as it burns down and in which you fill
in a form by filling it out. And a bell is only heard once it goes! English
was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the
human race (which of course isn't a race at all). That is why when the stars
are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible.
And why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts but when I wind up this
story it ends? And some more food for "Thought". Do infants enjoy infancy as
much as adults enjoy adultery? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is a person
who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not
called a racist? Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? Why do
overlook and oversee mean opposite things? If horrific means to make
horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible? Why isn't 11 pronounced onety
one? If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow
that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed? Why is it
that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you
will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have
to touch it to be sure? If you take an Oriental person and spin him around
several times, does he become disoriented? If people from Poland are called
"Poles", why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?" And shouldn't the
offspring of Hungarian Polish parents be
a Hungry Pole?

*grins*
The part about the recital n the play was good. :)
Well i thought most of the whole thing was.
...hmm...

NEways, i hope this post by no means deters people from commenting in the last few... =p

~Allyssa~

My First

Missed my blog entries?!
U jus miss me talking bout U dun u! :p
Useless jerk.

Isnt it bad enough that i SO havent been studying...?
N u so noe why... =P
n i shud stop sayin so coz its so really bimbo-like =D

i dunno...
all i wanna talk about wud be us...
sorta
But alot of it is private isnt it?
hai...

well, how about updates for them?
(Hey Liny! :) Thnx for dropping by! I know ure really busy n stressed out there! Chill ok?! *hugs* )

We broke up...
hahahahahahaha
Well we did.
on Sunday.
When were we together again?
Hahahaha....
long story...

But the things is, after we 'broke up'...I felt so So much more for u...More then beFore we 'broke up'...

So that was Sunday...
N with how things were goin, how we were feeling..., i thought they were kinda perfect...
But then Monday came...
The 1st day i actually studied btw. Haha...more or less la...
Until the last 5 minutes...
screwed us up... :)

N they have No idea wat im saying...
Does it matter?
Im too lazy to bother (sorry guys..)
Too lazy to even bother about my exams....
My actual AS exams...
...

The tables have twisted n turned too much... :p
since i last blogged...
wats tat? 9 days? :/
hmm...

Well lets say...alot of those last few posts no longer apply...
~Like how i cant picture myself with him?!
HAH! Long gone down the drains! *grins*!
~N how i dont know how he feels?
Well, i guess i do now...
I felt ur heart dear......unless it WAS just the hormones! =P
~About the girl?
Well.....its sorta settled...i hope... :P
See? Im still selfish...
~N also how stongly i felt? ....
*sigh*...u noe my prob...*sighs*...

Well, I'll tell u wat I DO noe...
I have feelings for u...
I think of u when my eyes open (not neccessarily 'wake up' hehe)
I miss ur messages
I miss u
I wanna be with u
I wanna talk to u
I wanna be in ur arms
I love touching u (err....Sick twisted Minds!!! Not THERE!)
I dont mind u touching me...(err....I DONT have to explain it to u guys! :P)

There might be a million reasons to these things...besides the apparently obvious One..
Lets hear some of them eh?
U can ALL tell me wat u think...
Im too lazy to think...

sorry...not now k...too many thoughts...

Hmm...Boston Public repeat. See i getta watch. :)
Hrmmm...Seen it before though...
on Singapore tv...

Collide is playing as usual...
It makes me sad sometimes u noe...a little...
love the song...
it pulls out my emotions...
something like tat...
Let make it our song? Whether we will be together or not it doesnt matter...
lets make Collide our song...
Ure gonna have to dance with me to it some day... *smiles*

Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I finally find, U n I Collide...

hmmm

I cant think when its playing btw...

I think i had quite some stuff to say...
but as usual i think too much n now ive forgotten...

Shouldn't a relationship build up on time? Even if you love this guy - take the time to get to know him.. you've prolly only seen 1 side of him.
How about that hmm?
Yea...
Lets wait now k...
Lets take some sort of a break...take our time...
We probably have plenty...
I Dun mean from each other...i cud never do that...
Lets do what we feel like doing, what we want to do...With boundaries n limits in mind of course...
As in...we can spend time together...id love that...but lets cut out all the other stuff hmm?

Oh btw, I was right!
ALOT of things did happen n develop in 2 months...
Heck it took 2 weeks! (or less than tat! haha!)

I've never felt for a guy the way i feel for u...
I've never done or wud have allowed any of the things that happened between us, to happen with any other guy....in my life so far....
I've never shared so much with anyone....
ok well, not so much, not the amount of it (after all ive only known u for 2 weeks!), but the extent of the sharing...
Nobody in this world knows what u noe about me...
I've actually made myself vulnerable around you by doing the things i do with u....telling u the things i tell u...
N yet, u are ultimately (so far) the one that is at risk.....
Maybe we both have.....Maybe we're both playerz.....
N yet, (seeing as to how things are going) im probably the better player! (Not to mention kisser! hahaha)

u noe, i was probably (definitely) right about the feelings thingy...
How how we feel affects how we feel...hahaha

Shall we give ourselves some time?
Some time to figure things out.
Some time to learn, to feel, to fall...

Shall we give this a chance?
Selfishly, if u dun have anywhere else to go.....Stay....
Selfishly, if u do.......*sigh*.....i dont wanna think about that now...

Its 12.45pm
I cant believe ure not awake yet!!!
Jerk!
N i cant believe u did not reply my msg!!!!
My last msg was just frikin scary ok!!!
It was still buggin me somewhere deep inside my mind when my mum came online!!
Sub-consciousness n consciousness got errr unconscious?
mised up n forgot wat actually did happen n wat was jus in my dream...

Anyways....i shud go now....
SpenT my morning writing this!
I hope ure Happy! =P
Why d'ya even bother anyways?
Shudn't u be studying?!
Shudn't we all?!?! *grins*

OK...goin off now...

~bye~

NOTE: Hey guys...Hmmm maybe i didnt express myself properly. :p That 'break up' that i talked about...It was just un-officialising things...coz i freaked out on him after we became 'official'. We didnt actually fight n not talk to each other or anything...Like i said...i felt more for him then...Its jus tat...well stuff happened on Monday...
Anyways, yea...we're sorta taking a break...slowing down things...we still spend time together (or plan to) shudnt have rushed into things...its only been 2 weeks...We're not over yet...

N Shaf, if we ever were to not be together...in a relationship, or watever...u are still special to me...N always will be...I hope that we'll be...jus as we are...or something like tat...
U mean alot to me...U always will...
After all, IM the one with the good track record with the exes! *grins*
love u...
Might not be the kind of love that u feel for me, or wish that i felt for u...
not yet
but i ...care for u...
*Hugs*

u lose ur appetite.......wen u fall for someone :D

U cant get with her unless u stop missing n falling for me like this...
Ure gonna hurt her again.
N ure gonna be hurt bcoz u hurted her...
N den im gonna be hurt coz i caused u to hurt her n hence get hurt! hahaha
im not gonna let u hurt someone bcoz of me...

i noe ure not gonna stop caring...but tats the prob...

U cant be missing me n flirting with me wen ure with someone else...
U cant care for me the way u do now if u get with someone else...
Cant, as in, u shudnt...
Its not fair...

N yet i wont have u forget about me...
Jus as i refuse to not have u around if im with another...

But i dont want u to pick Me...yet...
coz im not sure i can give u wat u deserve to get...wat u might get with her...

I dunno if i love him...though recently ive wanted to say it So Much!
I jus noe i more than like him...yes, i feel so much for u too. :p

we need to stop flirting!!!
I Hate U! :p

I cant believe i can feel so so much for u...n yet not be able to get with u...
I dont want to give u up!
I dont want to stop loving u like this...
I dont noe wat id do...

I've gotten it out...the word love...
If i say it...dun think i really really mean it until i tell u tat i do, Ok?

There are signs to me, that we cant be together...
I cant see myself with u...
even though u can...i dont...
N i feel uncomfortable wen u tell me wat u see...
Y do i feel uncomfortable??

if i cant see myself with u, how can i be with u?

i worry...
I worry tat i feel so strongly, because u feel so strongly too...
n tat i wudnt have if u didnt...n werent so good to me...because u feel for me...

wat does it mean if u miss someone every second of every day...
Every second that ure not together?
Its aint gotta be love...
Wat is love?
Izzy!! Wat is love?!
What is it if it isnt love?

Wat does it mean if u keep thinking about someone?
Keep thinking how much u feel for that someone...
No no, not I Love U.........more like I Hate U! :p though, its pretty much the same! :p
It still aint love...

you're rite...i dont love u...not yet...
haha but i cant stand it wen im not with u! :p
I hate u! U terrible jerk! :p
Ugh! How am I going to concentrate?!?! How am I going to study?!?!
U noe those dumb elders who say we shouldnt fall in love while we're studyin, coz itd affect our studies?!
Well HERE! Im not in love! But im Just as Affected!!!
Ass! ;)

hahaha...welcome to the 5th day of this twisted tale! :p

Hey Sarah! :) If ure wondering how come i never told u...well...its because this only started after i last wrote u... :P
its so terrible...
N to think i wrote about relationships in my last reply! :p
Leave me a msg k? *grins*

oh yeah...haha
Ive not been having any appetite for the past 2 days!
I didnt eat anything at all on Fri.
Not a single bite...
N i still had no appetite at night...
Even the slice of cake i had...was at midnite on saturday. hehe
N i didnt have any appetite today either!
Ugh....im hungry! But i just cant eat!!!
WHY?!
~he says its coz u lose ur appetite wen u fall for someone
tats dumb! haha :p

...

I Hate U!

I Hate U I Hate U I Hate U!!!

How can u fall for me wen u have her on your mind?!?!

Im So sorry for bringing her up...
But u love her...
N ure still trying to get her back!

Its not fair to her...
N its not fair to me...

but den again...no dun leave...im not giving u up...

Im So sorry for doing this to u again n again...
i wanna say i love u...but i dunno if i do...yet...

The only reason ure with me now...is coz u havent gotten her back yet...
No...i noe u care...i do...but u cudnt be doing all these things with me if u were with her, cud u...

im not gonna make u pick...
coz im not gonna lose u...
not tat theres anything to pick...u love her not me.
hah...

n i cant, because im not sure i cud b with u even if there wasnt a her...

ure gonna make me cry!
haha...
Im sorry babe...sorry im messing u up like this...

please dun be sad...
haha...stupid request, i noe...

i hate u...

This one's for u... =)

[Most of this was originally directed to the general public, yes. :) but den...certain sections were directed to one person...If u dun get it...it wasnt meant for u to get...Sorry. This ones dedicated to...u. :)]

Morning! =) (to U! :) leave me a msg, or 2, or more! :D )

:p

3 days...
Does that sound like a long time to u?!
No.
U wake up on Monday, quickly pass through it....Tuesday.....n before u noe it, its Wednesday!!!
Tats 3 days.....
Gone....Over....Never to come back....

But den....alot can happen in 3 days....

College started on the 7th of January. Wednesday.
After the end of sec school, my Best friend then shud ofcourse still be my best friend on the 7th...
Ok fine, so Wednesday...
We were placed in different classes...
things happened...dun wanna say...
Anyways...by Friday nite, i cried.
Desperately...
Knowing tat it was gonna be over...
It took jus 3 days for something to happen, that i cud tell something was wrong....
Anyways, i was rite.

3 days.
N ur heart can be broken.

Den recently, *grins*

3 days, n u can fall in love...

haha OK OK fine. Not in love! :)
Hows fall for someone? =) *grins*

I hardly knew Him (yes! Theres a new Him in town! haha ) before this week...
Infact, he was only sure of my name like...a few weeks ago....
Den last week...tuition... ;)
N only this Monday did i actually get his phone no...n him mine....
N Monday it was that it started....
Monday tat he starts msgin me....n msgin n msgin...
n msgin n msgin n msgin!!!
Monday nite....tues(well actually tues dun have la! haha)...wed....n Thurs....
N on Thurs he tells me he has a crush on me! (Yes yes I noe! TINY crush! Bah!)
N i tell him tat i like him too....

cause, as amazing as it sounds....it took us 3 days.....(i noe we were saying 4, but if u count, mon nite to thurs nite is 3 days! haha)

aih....but it was also then that my problems started....(yes! new guys new probs! Ugh!)

Aih...ya....i think this was wat this was supposed to be about...

Anyways....how come???
I dunno....
He was jus real sweet...
N he was the one who kept msgin....
bcoz...yea...if he had not...we wudnt be here today...coz i wudnt have msged...
I mean...tats wat im like...
Im always scared of buggin ppl...
Id usually expect the other person to be wanting me to stop...n get lost...
neways....he was the one who jus kept msgin...n askin me questions...
Eventhough i probably gave him chances to stop the conversation...
like, jus answerin his questions n no more...
but no, he went on!

Why ah? :)
Feel comfortable?!?! But tat was like the 1st time we 'talked' la...how to feel any comfort?!?!
I dun get....

Hes too sweet...
Ure too sweet...
N yes, why shud i believe u?!
The boy who cried wolf?
No wait....let me explain to them...
He....he has a sweet...err mouth? tongue? hahaha....
Hes always saying something sweet...
but like....before this week....like last fri, tuition time...n like this mon, at BK....?
All those things u sed??
U didnt like me then....so u were jus fooling around...like u sed....even i dun believe wat u say, rmmbr?
Well....ure saying the same things now...
wats the diff?
wat makes u mean them now wen u didnt mean them back then???

i trust people...
i believe wat they say...
I believe wat ppl say...

n if they wish to play me, n they're good with words....

i get played...

well....ya.
Coz if ppl tell me something...i believe them...
anything...
So all u have to do is tell them to me a few times....
den id start to think about it....
so if u wanted to play me...itd be all too easy...

dun u think itd be a problem if ure too sweet n make me fall for u??
haha...i jus wrote tat to u.....

n well....jus working it out with me wont settle the problem...id still, well...hurt...

but, nvrmnd...forget bout tat. :)
Im jus being paranoid...

yes i care about u...
yes i do like u...
n yes, haha i have a crush on u... hahaha

i dun think i'll fall for u...
either tat or ive already fallen for u...

No i dun believe wat u say...
No i still dun believe wat u say...
N no, i dun think i look better with glasses! ;)

Why is it tat 'we'll never work out' again?! (See?! U said Never!)
haha...yah...id get too jealous n upset!!!

yes...it is another crush...
but den again....its different....
different from the last one...

I think im gonna stop...

Haha...u noe wat?
I'm like a kid around u... *grins*
which is a good thing. hehe.
Tats y u get to call me kiddo! ;)

Oh MAN! U made me All School-Girly n Mushy n Gross!!!
I Hate U!

Oh n just so u guys noe,
NO we arent in love.
NO we arent together.
N well, dun think we'll be...

He has a girl in mind by the way...dun they all...

I cant believe i wrote all that crap for u!!!
U sure as hell better not be playing with me!
See?! I can speculate about that n yet not protect myself by doing something like this...

No...i dun trust u...(I do n yet i dunt...)
How can u care for someone like that n yet not want them ultimately??
[Add on: Do u noe why i refuse to believe ure really not playing me...? Because, after u told me on Thursday...I started believing what u say...more. I cant believe u mean all u say...Coz u cant!.....tats why...]

... ... ...
Good nite.
Im gonna misscall u... :)

N Elly: Dont puke n dun pee! :) I bet u wished u hadnt 'Made' me tell u tat day! Heh!

playerz

I think im being played...

Im scared.

I am.

well maybe im not being played....but im scared tat i might be...

i trust people...
i believe wat they say...
I believe wat ppl say...

n if they wish to play me, n they're good with words....

i get played...

I HATE not being able to trust!!!
I HATE this Dread im feeling in my heart!

I dun wanna be played!

i want to cry...

cry n forget it all...

lalalallalalalaallalalalalalaalalaaaa... ;)

Hello!!!

Eh! U guys are SO bad la!!!
hahahahaha

Along with my family!
Hmrph! Not a SINGLE one of them.....Hmmmm

hahaha.....if ure blur, well ure meant to be!

I'll elaborate some other time!

Bad bad ppl! :p

haha

Nite nite!!!

lalalalalalalalalalalalalaala....

The Reason

'Somebody' msged, wanting to borrow some cash from me.
note the qoute marks..

So i said ok. Remind me.

N she did.
She msged, 'Hey gul sory but jus wanted to remind u bout the money i wil try to give u bck in a few days time. Thanks'

U noe what that says?

It says that we are not friends.
Tats what it says...

Life is supposed to be difficult.....i guess.

Actually I dun really wanna create a new blog so soon...
Liked the last one...
But since im here n all...got something to say in the nex blog...

First off:
Its not really very interesting, but its true...hope some of it will get to some ppl, n let them learn.
Might save a heart from being broken...

EASY ....... DIFFICULT
>
>
>
> Easy is to get a place in someone's
address book.
> Difficult is to get a place in someone's
heart.
>
> Easy is to judge the mistakes of
others
> Difficult is to recognize our own
mistakes
>
> Easy is to talk without thinking
> Difficult is to refrain the tongue
>
> Easy is to hurt someone who loves
us.
> Difficult is to heal the wound...
>
> Easy is to forgive others
> Difficult is to ask for forgiveness
>
> Easy is to set rules.
> Difficult is to follow them...
>
> Easy is to dream every night.
> Difficult is to fight for a dream...
>
> Easy is to show victory.
> Difficult is to assume defeat with
dignity...
>
> Easy is to admire a full moon.
> Difficult to see the other side...
>
> Easy is to stumble with a stone.
> Difficult is to get up...
>
> Easy is to enjoy life every day.
> Difficult is to give it real value...
>
> Easy is to promise something to
someone.
> Difficult is to fulfill that promise...
>
> Easy is to say we love.
> Difficult is to show it every day...
>
> Easy is to criticize others.
> Difficult is to improve oneself...
>
> Easy is to make mistakes.
> Difficult is to learn from them...
>
> Easy is to weep for a lost love.
> Difficult is to take care of it so as not to
lose it.
>
> Easy is to think about improving.
> Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into
action...
>
> Easy is to think bad of others
> Difficult is to give them the benefit of the
doubt...
>
> Easy is to receive
> Difficult is to give
>
> Easy is to read this
> Difficult is to follow it
>
> Easy is to keep a friendship with
words
> Difficult is to keep it with meanings.

---

Easy is to think about improving.
Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into
action...

True. As is proven by Me being Here right now!!! (Read: Not studying!)
In fact! Did nothing today. Came back from coll, slept, was woken up b4 6. Had to send brother off at airport!
Just came back. Gonna catch Boston Public soon...
...I dun understand me either...

Easy is to hurt someone who loves
us.
Difficult is to heal the wound...

Jus wanna high-light that. (Im sensitive again tonite...)
My wound is not healing. Especially since the party who wounded me hasnt really gotten it yet, N wont set out to heal it...

Easy is to forgive others
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness

Or maybe it has healed somewat...but the scar is there...
Somebody, Teach me to forgive n forget, n move on!

Easy is to promise something to
someone.
Difficult is to fulfill that promise...

Kindly make a point to watch what u promise...
And when u do promise, try Very hard to keep it...
THINK n see how much it means n how important it is to the other party before u just brush it off..
inform early if u have to break ur promise...
N nex time, dun promise again..!

Easy is to say we love.
Difficult is to show it every day...

Ppl always ask u to look in their eyes wen u say 'i love u' to see if u mean it.
I dun think ill have any problems passing that test...
is it really hard?
dunno....
DUNT say I love u unless u mean it.
Why lie?
Why lie?
Why lie???
...people hurt u noe... is it fun to hurt??
Dont lie!

No time for relationshipsmelationships! I HAVE NOT STUDIED!!!

have had alot goin thru my head recently....
like, lots to blog about...
dunno which topic to pick
n oso....shudnt be doin this...:(

i'll try this one 1st, coz its simple n short. [EDIT: hahaha, Hey! It Started out short okay...:) I din noe that my frens 'story' wud have such a great effect on me! =)]

Im chatin wit a guy fren now who asked me why girls can change their mood so easily...
He said, he made a little mistake n his gf can ignore him for 4 days (hey, i din noe he had a gf!!! =) )
So i asked him about it...
He said that all that happened was that he got disconnected...den she got mad at him...

so i digged deeper...
apparently, he got disconnected...den he went back online....45 minutes later...
:0
~Why 45 minutes later??
-I got dc, den i was too lazy....

Ta daaaa....
Aint it Obvious?!?!
And i was like, Aiyaa...so simple ma...
But still he can ask me "Ha???"

~U were 'too lazy'! Ofcourse shes mad la!
-Huh? I was too lazy...so???

Hai....is it All guys?! Or jus this particular one?!?!
I mean....i basically knew tat guys were dumb! (hahaha)
Ok ok fine, i mean more like, in relationships, or rather, dealing with the opposite sex...

Aint it obvious?!?!
He was "TOO LAZY" to go online to chat with her...
DUH! Ofcourse shes mad!
how can ur boyfriend be 'too lazy' to chat with u?!?!

Ok Guys: Basic tip!
This is how girls think, and wat they want ok?
If u are their boyfren, obviously u need to care for them...
u need to care for them enough to....do WANT to do...everything....
call them, sms them, hold them, hug them, think about them, miss them.....EVERYTHING....
its really hard to say....

This is why....
Girl: Hrmphhh!!! *turns back on guy*
Guy: Wats wrong?
Girl: HRMPPHHHFF!!!!
Guy: Are u mad at me? Wat did i do wrong???
Girl: If u Dont Know, Im Not gonna tell u!!!

hahaha. ;)
I noe, i noe...its dumb....but still.....tats wat u love about us rite? hahaha jk...

U see, we dun wan u to call us because we Tell u to...
we want u to call because u missed us, and thought about us, n basically WANTED to call... :)
Its not as simple as, 'if u want me to call, jus tell me. I wont mind. if u want me to call, ill call...'
U cant just "Not Mind"
Its not good enough....U need to WANT!

but den again....whether a person 'Wants' something or not, cannot be controlled, can it?

If u loved her....u'd want to call...
If u loved her enough...the right way....
Den there wont be this problem.

Wat im saying is tat, most of the time, this problem exists because this 2 ppl are not truly in love....not really meant for each other...

A couple should be comfortable enough that both parties call each other, in a system that is right for themselves....
As in, if it jus so happens that this couple both feel that they should call each other (about) equal no. of times...and they both do just tat, den everyone is happy.
If the guy naturally Wants to call the girl 24/7 n shes perfectly happy with that, then That is their system...
Like that...

As in the case sorta mentioned above, the girl should be comfortable enough in the relationship to Understand the guy...as in, understand tat not calling doesnt mean he doesnt care (if tats wat it is, im not talkin about my friend here, bcoz as i later found out, he didnt care....more on this later...), its jus His way, n him being Him.
N maybe the guy should understand wat the girl wants n feel happy to make Her happy.....
Something like that....

It has been proven in Chemistry (which is ofcourse an essential element in a relationship!)

Guy + Love <=======> Girl + Love
If the Girl loves the guy more than equilibrium will allow, according to Le Chatelier's Principle, equilibrium position will shift left to produce more of Guy's Love.
N if the guy loves the girl more than equilibrium...., according to Le Chatelier's Principle, equilibrium position will then shift right to produce more of Girl's Love.

However, if the Guy (in case 1), has too high an activation energy, and is unable to react to produce the desired amount of love, equilibrium cannot be reached, and then, the Girl + Love (reactant), will react completely to form the Guy's Love (product), until it (the reactant) is spent......
N vice versa...

Im not a chem expert though....may those better than me comment on this... :)

Its long and complicated....I could go on forever....But its basically the same thing.
Love.
N well...fate.
The right one...

I crap so much about chem i forgot what else it was that i had to say....

Oh well, back to my friend then....
He went on to complain to me about the girl, and in 2 secs i could see that the relationship was doomed...
sorry to say....
But it was SO obvious!
He doesnt love her!
He went on about what she does/did n how it was making him miserable...
He asked whether all girls were like tat, and if not, he should find a new girl...
(Hello?!?!?! Should u even be Thinking this seeing as she is ur GF n its supposed to be a pre-requisite that u Love her??!)
N more on how he feels bored when hes with her n blahblahblah...
u get the picture right?

N den more truth came out...
~Why did u start with her in the 1st place?
- err...because she liked me first?
(WTF?!?!?! Cant u SEE that that is SO not right??!?!)
n apparently they broke up....n they r currently back together because
in his own words, she wanted him back...
???

But den....he says its because she has been depressed, n he was thinking about her exams....
he feels responsible....n doesnt noe wat wud happen to her shud he break up with her....

Aikz....i dun even noe where to begin....thinking i mean....
as u might noe from several of my previous blogs....i have a million thoughts on this...relationship stuff...

hai.....

oh ya, another thing.....
even as i say that a relationship is not right if it isnt.....at equilibrium, well like i have also expressed before, its not neccessarily impossible to work out right?
i mean....i dunno, but im sure almost every single couple has this problem.....otherwise life would be perfect..
N yet, relationships do work out.....
And yet again, i dun think married couples have this problem though, of caring n not caring...
which would den strenghten my conclusion that couples with this problem wont work out...

ARGH!!!
I shall Stop thinking now!!!
As the wise people say, Thinking Kills!

I'd really appreciate ur thoughts on this....(no not about Killer thoughts! About this relationship dilemma thingy!!!)


Better go off now....
Im miserable by the way...
This has been a bad week...
Both my problems that are constantly haunting me, were bent on ruining me this week...
And then theres the added hassle of the darn exam which is burning my brains....
I havent even finish wat i shud have done yesterday! WAt more today!!! N yet im online!!
(N why did i come online in the 1st place?!?! HIM tats why!!! GRRRRR)