good luck to you

Ok Fabian! You have to Stop it!

You're getting me Crazy over shopping!!! hahaa..
n That is not good! As you Very well know!

you get high High.. but that means you also get very Low!

hahahaa..

ish..

see.. now i want to go to the Blook sale again! Hah! (I bought 4 tops! 4 tops and 1 jacket!!! N the Total was 77 bucks HAH! (tho actually i just discovered it shud hav been 74, they con me off 2 bucks! Thats it im gonna demand it back!! Hahaaa..) AND the jacket Rocks! 40 bucks wheeee!)
(ok fabian you SEE what i mean? Crazy huh huh?! ANyone??!)

n GAP! The lousy liars, i ask them sale until when they LIE n say DUNNO but its on the Website, until 16th March! HAH!
haha.. ok i know you dont want me to buy Gap but just chill ok.. i think its ok n its reasonable, n atleast its thick. :p
see how.
atleast i know i wont be going to the US anytime soon. :p (so lay off the dissing and maybe let me enjoy it.. hahaa..)

BUT! You SEE! On the site it says HSBC card get extra 10% off!!! But only from 15-17th Feb!
WHY WHY WHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
i have been going in n out of that shop Countless times this past couple weeks.
WHY didnt they tell me. this is Most unfair.

haha.

breathe... breathe...

---

ok.. where i left off..

remember how i said Saturday (last) i needed to get up early coz we had stuff to do?
Well up i did get (tho thankfully not As early as planned. haha) but Both the things that we Had to do, we realised we cudnt!
N so! Did we mope?
Nooooooo!
Off we went to comfort ourselves n
thats how i ended up with 4 tops n 1 jacket.
All from 1 shop.
Haha!
(n that brought my total purchases of the last 10 days to 11 items! HAHA! tho i must say, aside from the jacket (which is awesome (i say it now bcoz its still new thank god) n only 40 bucks, which is what id pay for a Shirt! n hence not counted :p), everything else was 30 bucks or under! Hah! =P
N they got cheaper n cheaper too! From 60 for 2, to 39 for 2! to 8 bucks for 1 HAH! HAH! haha..
tho i must say.. its gonna be really hard to beat that from now on. :p)

n oh well from Sunday till Wednesday, i was supposed to be really bored n all alone.. bcoz
my friends were either
away, or
with their other halves, or
aWay With their other halves.
(Can you say PFfft?!)

but surprisingly it didnt turn out so. (eventho i did think i cud take the time to chill from all the going out of the past week. haha)

Sunday i was at Gardens with a friend.
and hence went into Gap again. (actually i was there the night before too, infact, i had the same food the night before hah)
n then when i got home my niece came to visit! Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!
n i Must gush bcoz she was all shy n un-engaging atfirst As usual! but den at dinner i took her for a walk n played with her n den When it was time to leave i walked over to her to say Goodbye darling and she went "no, no!" n Reached out for me! GASP! *cue to tear :p* (actually it was more like 'nyoh, nyoh', but lets not argue about semantics. =P)

hahaa..

so Monday is my day to lax right.
n well by the time i got up n got out of bed (bcoz i tend to either laze alot or read in bed to avoid the general public of my home. ahem)
i settled some transport / flight stuff n wala, its night time. haha.

Tuesday
i went to IJN (National heart institute) with my dad, and discovered government secrets!
Gasp! Get this, they actually had a Bilik ESP! (bilik = room) *cue to gasp is shockhorror*
Like... wooooh dude..
haha
so..check this out..
patient walks in the room n the doc goes
Doc : "yes yes.. i know what is wrong!"
Pt : "mmhmm n yes.. i know what u want me to do now, why thank you so much gdbye!"

Damn that saves alot of waiting time.

n den we went to the travel agent n booked my ticket.
which i actually already did over the phone the day before. haha.
but oh well.

[note : wow.. can you believe it, ive Actually booked my ticket?.. why, sometimes the whole 'gonna be in Manchester' thing makes me kinda happy.. just sometimes.. :) (n sometimes it sucks but nvm tat. :p) But now, certain ppl dont want to fly with me so boohoo crycry sniff. :p we'll see how it goes..]

on Wednesday, check this out, i accidentally went to the dentist.
Haha. ok by that i mean it wasnt planned.
we just got to my dads office for lunch, n had to hang around until he was done, so me n my mum thought we'd drop by the dentist, since my last visit was what.. 4 yrs ago?? hahaa..

But shiit dude i do Not remember scaling being that damn painful! Pfft!
ok fine.. it wasnt That painful.. but it Did hurt some goddammit!
he kept scraping into my gums, like OWW!
n then i bled like all over the place. Bah.

teeth look ok but me must take care of teeth better. which i dont. :(

n today, (by that i mean Thursday ofcourse.)
i Finally.. FINally got to putrajaya to finish my stuff.
after Months of planning but nothing materializing, and the last few weeks where things just kept coming up n having to push off..
but well ofcourse, to do it i had to go with my Dad instead of with my friend as i planned.
n y'noe.. there IS a fanTastic reason why i wanted to go with my friend n not my dad.
God. i got scolded for like, Everything man. Ish.

haha.

n well, tmr, Friday, i be off to Penang again. :)
(tho im actually missing my assam pedas! which is down south instead of up north...)
n its a coincidence that some friends wud be there, including a couple of ppl who were supposed to fly with me but now bailed! Pfft!
haha.. but im not sure if i can meet them. (or if they want to actually. haha)

i wanna have Fun! wheee!

oh n I Must Must Must get to the MPH sale, last day tmr with members extra discount!
hahaa..


oh well..
that was long n crappy..

s'wat happens when you take away all the mopey stuff.
boring ol' crappity crap.

So anyways,
i find it kinda amazing that my last coupla months (mayb esp. last few weeks but not really) have actually been that
occupied, n busy, n well not boring..
its.. a surprise..
n a good one.
coz its.. good..

oh well.

(all that up?)

one more month before misery.
*sniff sniff nudge nudge hint*

sigh.

---

when i get back..

good luck to you.

all the wrong reasons

So you havnt heard from me in a week bcoz y'noe,
do i really want to tell you details of what goes on in my life?
No, not really. (infact id rather you didnt get to know what goes on in my life.)
But here i am tellin ya.
Hmm.

*makes a face thats a cross between a shrug, grimace (shrugrimace?), n a ..pained smile?* hah..

last Thursday
we went out for dinner. bcoz it is an important date you know. wink wink?
n its important to go out for important dinners on important daaaayss.. yes.
(ok fine not really)
But hey. Its a good day to go for good dinners. ;)
so we did.
n its a good sign. good start. good things to come.

Friday
oh we went on a date! (ok, different we.) :p
we went to that nice nice place that i really love. (n where i discovered that the Parking there is very very Not nice. pfffFFTt.)
n we watched that nice nice movie that i wanted to! at that nice nice Nice movie place that i really wanted to too! hahaa..
oh ya n lets not forget i had that really nice nice Milo that i Love too! Aha! now you know how i picked the place. =p
But i guess the most important bit, i guess, was the after where we went to this place in Ampang where theres this hill / mountain / high high place la ok, n theres a look out point (hence the title of last post) where you can see the view of the entire KL.
Like, No joke ok!
Amazing night view.
very very appropriate pak toh-y spot for those that are out of ideas. haha.
anyways, too bad we didnt have a good camera to take the awesome view. just the phone. so we took some haha.. n hope it turns out decent. :p

[that night was another night/day/time that i demonstrated that i have the ability to 'teach' people to enjoy things that they initially (for the first 5 seconds) thought they would not. Hah! =P I am pro!] (other ppl shud be rather thankful with the things ive taught certain ppl. hahaha.)

Saturday
is the day i lazed n didnt do anything (i think) bcoz the next day wud be another big date n so were the 2 nights before so it was important to laze around n show face at home so the powers that be do not get the wrong impression that one spends too much time outside enjoying oneself. that wud be very bad see.

Sunday
took the boy out this time. MPO.
3 presents.
1st was the MPO. (which wud hav been a Greater surprise present if he hadnt spoilt it by thinking of it already. pfft i told you so.)
2nd was the dresscode. ahem. *blush* (which was actually alot better without the shirt. which never came off tho.)(n hah! boy looked good in black shirt! which i picked! hah!)
3rd was, pfft, inviting someone along for dinner. cheh! *pout*

n since i was still into the whole picture taking thing from a couple nights before, i made him take a bunch of pics, bcoz he always complains i never put up any anyways. (maybe its the whole seniority thing, maybe its the whole jealousy thing. or both. i show off. or im just like that. are u guai bcoz u 'need' to be or because you're just like that. i cant always tell. hmm.)

Monday
went shopping with the brother. because he was leaving soon n needed to do last minute shopping. spent the day in mv n ended up not Buying anything, except a couple boxers!, bcoz he wouldnt listen to me! hah! bah..

Tuesday
brother fell sick. haha. n no not bcoz of my virus fabes that was long over n not the same.
me went for lunch with a Manchester person.
learned alot of nice funny things about Manchester.
Like, did you know the UK has, apparently, HARDwater as opposed to Our water which is apparently Softwater! (i Didnt know there was such a thing until den! :p) n Bcoz of that we cant buy shower stuff (shampoo, soap) from over here to there bcoz it Wont lather! Hah how about That! oh well gd news bcoz it saves me space anyways. =P
(heh. n guess whos benefit that was for.)
n that we dont have to worry bout food over there bcoz its So multicultural n we can find all sorts of home stuff. only havta worry about the $$ -_-"
n learn to like dimsum. =/
altho, alot of nice things there may be but, theres only a 1 in 4 chance that i get the hospital on campus, so..
3/4 chance that i get shipped all the way there, kononnya study under Manchester but dont even get to experience what Manchester really is.
haha.
oh well, i dont mind. No expectation, no disappointment right? =p I know each has its good points n i wont be the one to say that the Campus hosp wud be the best. :)
Its not necessarily that way. And we can always travel right. :)

Wednesday
went shopping with the brother again bcoz its the last day hes around.
This time he had no choice but to listen to his master of a lil sister hah!
6 shirts! how about That! haha.. only 1 of which was not black (or dark blue) (which he picked n i let him bcoz almost everything else was my choice haha) bcoz i guess i still Am in my whole black not-so-phase phase. haha.
i was most happy. :p
oh n i bought 4 of my own too. haha.

Thursday
who knew that the LCCT (low cost carrier terminal), and the journey to it would be Such an adventure! haha..
n the food there sucks btw. DO NOT get the nasi lemak. =p

Friday
hah! kena con drive all the way to ppls house for a card, to drive all the way to mv, n drive all around n around n around the parking!
had a blast going to a bunch of shops though! haha..
n den spent the evening/night at aNother shopping centre. =P
much fun. :p

n bcoz that last one is technically 'today', tho ofcourse it isnt really bcoz its 4.46am!, it is the end here.
bcoz i need to get up early (oh crap!) to go to another bunch of places tmr.
haha.

Can we yum cha on Sunday? =P

gotta wake up in a couple hours! Ta!

look out point

If i were to post now i would write a bunch of stuff in code.
or a whole bunch of stories with secret meaning but are actually boring n uninteresting.

if i were to post now, you wouldnt get it.

so i wont.


But please.

PLEASE tell me what to do.

PLEASE just TELL me WHAT am i supposed to do.

WHAT is right. WHAT is wrong.

DONT just SIT THERE n do WHATEVER you want WHENEVER you want to.

PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHAT IS RIGHT OR WRONG.


---
In the hospital, we see addiction every day. It’s shocking how many kinds of addiction exist. It would be too easy if it were just drugs and booze and cigarettes. I think the hardest part of kicking a habit is wanting to kick it. I mean, we get addicted for a reason, right? Often, too often, things that start out as just a normal part of your life at some point cross the line to obsessive, compulsive, out of control. It’s the high we’re chasing, the high that makes everything else fade away.

Still, they say you don’t kick the habit until you hit rock bottom, but how do you know when you’re there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes letting it go hurts even worse.

*shrugs* who says its right timing.
way too late.

just like me

Wow.

When i first heard that song i have on my player on the sidebar, Life is Beautiful, it was from a show i was watching..
n now while im watching another show, poof suddenly it comes on..
n it was like.. Wow..
its so amazing to suddenly hear this wonderfully beautiful song that you love, suddenly come on on a show that you really like too..
im sure you would know all about that..

Like hearing Collide come on, or Chasing Cars, or How to Save a Life..

-

Sandwiches!
Choc cake!

those are pretty wow things too n i Want! Wheeeeeeeeeeeee.. hahaa..

Im making him buy me cake on Friday!

or not.. hahaa..

-

Liar liar pants on fire!

oh Come On! do Not believe him!
Hes just trying to atone for his past sins! or pretend to..

but you just Cant just.. y'noe, go to jail for a crime you didnt commit to try n make up for one that you did.
(or ok.. maybe you can in some shows)
but hey! no man..
Tats not facing up to killing a guy.

or whatever.
hes just super annoying coz we Know his a screwed up a-hole n hes faking on this niceness that its so annoying you just wanna puke.
ugh.
Hurry up n do something bad already so we can hate u.
pffft.

-

n btw,

I Hate Lucas!
I hate Lucas! oh.. but i only hate him coz i like him so much.. the hot stuff.. sniff..

but he cant just...
i knew it all along! (oh it was always meant to be her)

you cant just.. say such things about a girl.. n the next second, move on to someone else..
n say the same kinda things to her! n expect everyone to believe you to boot!

you know..
Lucas is a wonderful guy..
hes this.. wonderful.. amazing.. unbelievably one of a kind, theres no one else like him, Prince of a guy.
n he will say such amazing things about a girl he loves..
(oh n you think you're the luckiest girl alive... the luckiest..)
but then you know.. they make him switch to another girl, n he looks at her the same way, n says the same things..
you cant just do that..

this is why i say words are so cheap to me.
you make words cheap to me.

n i still love Lucas, n everybody loves Lucas, n everybody always will..

but words are cheap to me
n they still are.
you hear.

But everybody will still always love Lucas.

like me.

P.S. Chocolatey choc cakes.. those thick, chocolatey, melty ones! yummy ones.. none of those other stuff..

P.P.S. Like the way he says 'i love you too, *insert applicable name*', or 'you're mine forever', or 'always'. (like it Means something, only it doesnt.)

picture on a bus

"Have you ever looked at a picture of yourself, and seen a stranger in the background? Makes you wonder, how many strangers have a picture of you."

When i heard that, i was completely omg.
Bcoz That is me.
Me.
Im the one that always wonders about that, that exactly same thing.
i think about it often, even about bloggin about it.
about all those pictures with ppl we dont know in it n the ones maybe we are in. When i see a stranger holding up a camera when im walking by, i think about it.

I think about buses n how sometimes when you're in it n you're traveling you see all those ppl outside that you past by, n they see you.
All those lives that you just past by, but who were an insy bit in yours.
n how sometimes when a bus passes you by, someone in that bus sees you.

but ofcourse.. at some point you'll realize.. amazing as it may seem sometimes, that is just life.
n its like all those maybes and what ifs, all those things you'll never know.
that guy you never said hi to, the girl you didnt stop to help.
the strange number you never called back.

but since our lives are not from a teenage drama (with overgrown actors), nothing that dramatic would come out of it i guess. tho sometimes you never know.

like that penpal i had and den stopped writing to at, what, 13?
n he found me again after 7yrs?
n that was wow.
n if he is always as cute as he is sometimes, as he was that other day, maybe i would have liked him too. n we could have been happy.
haha.. no.. we wouldnt have been. :p im just over dramatizing things. :p
but we're friends now. n its odd but okay.
n if we could be a lil better friends, then that wud be pretty awesome.

Lucas : "No. I miss basketball everyday. But to have it halfway, is harder than not having it at all."

Life comes rushing at you from out of the darkness, when it does, is there someone in your life you can count on? Someone who will watch over you when you stumble and fall? and in that moment give you the strength to face your fears alone.

You need to stop shutting me out.
If you keep pushing me away, one day i'll stop pushing back.
One day i'll give up and stop.
N then what will be left?

by my side

*if i say this.. dont hold it against me..*

You are my McDerek.


i cant do this post right now.

i cant tell you the truth.
bcoz i can.. but i cant..

you are my McDerek ... . .... ...

i dont know what id do if i really.. .... ...
if i had to live, exist in a world where you didnt..

i think about it everyday n it scares me..
i couldnt do it....

i cant do this post.

By my side
You’ll never be
By my side
You’ll never be

Cause I’m fake at the seams
I’m lost in my dreams
And I
I want you to know that I can’t let you go
And you’re never coming home again
And you’re never coming home again

By my side
You’ll never be
By my side
You’ll never be
You’ll never be

I wanted to tell you I'd changed
I wanted to tell you that things would be different this time
I see you
You see me
Differently
I see you
You see me
Differently

You tell me that you love me but you never want to see me again
You tell me that you love me but you never want to see me again
You tell me that you love me but you never want to see me again
You tell me that you love me but you never want to see me again

im a creep

*rant ahead*

THat is eXactly how much you care right.

right wateverthefooklikeididntalreadyknow

n thats Exactly how you're gonna 'deal' with it right. just like always.

i Hate that i so very easily tear up in front of people.
of my family.
i hate it, hate that im so lame n pathetic n so emotionally unstable?
for the stupidest reasons!

i have no idea why i am such a lame ass emo-case.
for the past few years or something.

this is Not the me i thought i was.


-
Theres so many things i wanna say.
so many things i can say..
so many things i wanna be..

i dont know if i could do them..

but i know that it wont be for long.. no not for long..
how could i do it?..
n then..?

yea.. thats the bit.

-
i wish.....

oh God.....
i wish you didnt....
you wouldnt keep.....

"Im the girl with abandontment issues.. you have to sleep with me from now on."

oh please dont... please please please dont..........
dont do it not........... not over.....

-
sigh. im over it.

gd night.

" Maybe I wasn't asking you to love me, maybe I was asking you to understand, because for so long I've been hurt and for so long you've ignored it, and maybe it is bad timing, but maybe, I don't care. I've been here all along, just waiting, waiting for you to notice, waiting for you to care. Waiting for you to say that you've been waiting too, and you haven't and maybe you never will or maybe you're afraid to. But it all hurts the same, and in the end, I'm the one that's left broken and when I lay down to sleep, I'm still the one crying, so screw the bad timing. I've loved you then, like I love you now, like I probably always will. "

summer where we lay

"I Still..."

Who are you now?
Are you still the same
Or did you change somehow?
What do you do
At this very moment when I think of you?

--

its funny..
ive posted the whole song before so i wont do it again..
but if you look back at When i posted it..
its like pretty much the same date..
Hah..

Something bout it....
...

---

Closer - Dirty Vegas

I wouldn’t come any closer
I couldn’t help it if I tried
Was I building up my defences
For the sake of foolish pride

It doesn’t mean that I don’t want to
It doesn’t mean that I’m afraid
Don’t you know I never forgot you
Since we’ve gone our separate ways
Gone our separate waaays, waaays

So tell me do you remember
The summer where we lay
You’re calling out inside my head
Over an over an over an over an over an over again
Again
Over an over again
Again
Again

So now you’re here and I am calling out your name
I never thought that I would have this chance
Have this chance again
Again
Now you’re here again
Again

I wouldn’t come any closer
I couldn’t help it if I tried

--

So now i can finally put it up..
(n guess what.. heh.. who wud've known itd be a good time too..)
coz like the other, didnt wanna spoil it first.
but now they can both come up when i want to huh.

too tired to yell at you...

too tired to tell you to stop fcking glaring at me.
who the hell do you think you are.

its a fcking house goddammit. a house.

too tired to tell you to leave me the fck alone.

just because i cant defend myself.

-

first the world gets completely fcked up.

den i have to get beaten up by someone.
(fine, i didnt care that much)

den you.
dont glare at me dont you dare.

i didnt do anything wrong.

-

have to get everything bad out before midnight.

i hate my life.

what would you know, boy?
you havnt even been there.

-

yea.
because now its on you right?.

n i thought.
what harm could one little thing do?

how stupid.

pages of my diary

400th post!

less momentous than its predecessors (200th, 300th, 100th..) bcoz, Hey,
if you're gonna post 30-40 a month, you gonna hit another 100 soon. =P haha..

tho ive been quite guai n not gone crazy the last month right. :)

---

things you shouldnt do
n now you regret it.

bah. sigh..

---

oh yea so obviously im back now.

came back a few days ago, but got food poisoning the next.
everyones trying to blame the Penang food, but actually i think its the mamak food i had outside my house here, the night i got back from Penang.
Tho if everyone still wants to blame Penang thats fine with me, not a big fan of them myself. =P

so i was stuck in bed the whole day that day right, with food poisoning.
den i finally went to see the doc.
n he gave me a jab! a dam jab! urgh..
n den charged me 40 bucks for all the meds..
which i paid for coz im all nice n my mummy was too slow taking out her cash. bah.
wat a waste of my cash.
especially since its a take when necessary kinda thing n after taking them once, plus a few times for good measure, i stopped. n everythings still left over.
pffft.

Go on Ebay :
Auction! Sale! Anti-diarrhoea n anti-vomiting meds going for a cheap price! Throwing in ORS if you buy them all! Great price great price!
(bah)

---

I Finally got to complete the things i needed to do yesterday! WHeeeeeeee!
haha.. coz i was an invalid on Sunday n Monday.. so called..
tho no one Made that claim when i was up and washing n vacuuming the car on Mon. pffftt.

Anyways,
so i was travelling around KL by myself yesterday.
n now.. travelling alone, by public transport in town cud be considered a very independent thing to do..
but if you're doing it in KL, it miiight not be the brightest thing to do.. especially if you're a girl.. like i am..
i think.. *thinks..*
i have to say it was stressful. =P
but fun if only i could let go abit n worry less..
but thats not easy..

anyways wheeeeeeeeeeeee.. i got around to TWO whole places all by myself!
n completed all i needed to do! Whoh.. finally..
so, happy happy..

so now all thats left is to figure out dresscode for Item #2.
n make the boy appreciate it. pfft.

A thanks to my Partner in Crime n Fellow Stalker! hahaa..
(which reminds me.. ol partner.. i need a session of complaining now.. =/)

---

this is why you should never never do it..

bcoz you can never tell whats gonna come back..
n how you're gonna react in return..

you should know this by now.. the number of times..

this is why you shouldn't.

.

stayin above it bcoz i need to.

oh happiness

i've missed you.

is that what you call trying?

where were you.

---

As you can see im bloggin in the day time!
Such a rare occurence.

well, bros laptops spoilt so hes hogging my comp now. bah.
such is the suffering of the younger child. =P
so i can only use the comp when hes not around ie. comatosed

Ahh the day already has the feel of Chinese New Year in the air!
How sweet!

tho no where in the house has been cleared to look like it should.... =/

ahhh..

One Red
One Brown
One Yellow
One Pink
Two Black!

WHeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
My purchases! AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA

HAPPY!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

Even if saving you sends me to heaven~

---

Todays the day you run away..
i know..

...

P.S. Hey Ashwin, i put up the song.. its the 2nd on the playlist.. :)