Quarter of a year

A quarter of a year sounds grand doesnt it?!
Compared to the number of months it represents..

Hmmm....
a quarter of a year...
=)

Hugs or kisses?

Hugs.

Definitely.

While kisses involve only the lips. Jus tat 1/2 by 2 inch part of your body... (Altho admittedly kisses cud be on other parts of ur body...)
Hugs involve the whole body..
Most of the muscles.
It includes feeling the warmth of someone elses (most probably someone u actually like) body against yours.
Along the entire length of your body.
The feeling of someones embrace...
Someones breath..
Someones heartbeat...
The feeling of someones arms around u.
The pull, the squeeze..
The overwhelming sense of someone else in your personal space.

The comfort.
The love.

Disclaimer: This was by no means based on any personal experience. (Atleast not necessarily..) Kindly keep certain images out of ur dirty minds. Thank u.

Chi

Oh.

Apparently?

Result days are very bad for me.

The day i got my SPM results? Best results id Ever gotten! Best results i cud Ever get.
That nite, i had to cry myself to sleep. Heh. (Ok, fine. More like cry n den sleep. S'not like i cried bcoz i wanted to sleep..)
Some squabble shit blablabla.

There i was with my stupid results, supposed to be feeling super high n happy...
But no.
Terrible.

Something God has against me?
...But den again he did give me my results...
Balance i guess.
Ying n Yang.

Anyways.
So ya.
Yesterday i got my results.
Best i cud get too.

Go figure...

P.S.
Like i sed. Time changes things.
Changes how u feel. Changes how things are.
And im not talking about 10 or 15 yrs.
Not even 1 yr.
5 minutes is enough.
To change your story. Ur path. Ur journey.
WTF am i talking about?
5 minutes is enough to change how u feel. Wat u'll do.

Getting off now.

swollen. sleep. shit.

4.30am.
My fingers smell like something tat i shall not mention.

Do not misunderstand, i did not stay up till now.
I jus walked out of my dark, air-con-ed room. Downstairs to the comp.
Wish my dad wud go up to bed.

Tot of the second.
People shud grow up n not be Fucking actors. (yes. do not hope for sensors today.)
If a person is Not ur Fucking friend.
If a person is ur Fucking FUCKING enemy!
Dun Fucking act all pious n shit and ADD them as friends.
I mean, REQUEST to add them as friends!
FUCK U!
Why wud u Fucking want to (request to) add someone u hate! Someone who is ur Fucking enemy! to ur list of 'Friends'!?
FUCK OFF!

My dad really needs to go upstairs n sleep now.

Let me explain to you about my idea of praying.
I am a Christian. so called.
yes. so called.
I believe in God n i was brought up blablablablabla
But i was not brought up to go to church.
Therefore, it is also not in me to pray.

Everybody prays.
Everybody can pray.

I do not go to church to worship Him.
Therefore, my idea is tat i am therefore 'unworthy' to pray, as in, ASK Him for things.
I mean, why shud he grant me anything?
It isnt fair tat the only time i 'pray' to Him is to ask him to grant me things.
I make it a point not to pray to him for anything. ......most things...
Like a boyfriend.
Or good results.
Or to die soon.

Maybe, sometimes, things that mean my Life to me... things i cannot help but to ask him for...
den only do i ask it from Him.

Jus now,
I asked that God wake my boyfriend up.
...
No, he isnt in a coma or anything like that.
I jus did.
.
Although to be fair i did not go down on my knees or pray fervently for it or anything. I jus asked.

Unfortunately for me, or as far as my mortal eyes can see right now, God, with his infinite wisdom, decided not to wake him up.
Cool shit.

Cant remember wat else i wanted to say.
Goin back up to lie on my bed.
yes. note my words.

4.55am
Its been 2 hours.

Good nite.

Oh ya. Remembered.
The problem with this blog is, i probably feel better after i blog this shit.
I do not wish to feel better.
Not in this way.
But then again, im not exactly better.
Jus moodless.
...
Same shit. Ruins everything.

Oh well.

ann owe

I am not understanding.
I was not born that way.
I never wished to be.

I do not wish to understand.
I shall not understand.
I SHALL NOT UNDERSTAND.

Time changes things.
Even 5minutes n things can change.
sometimes when things change, they cannot change back anymore.

Sometimes, Once the moment is lost, u can never get it back.

once the moment is lost... u can never have it back again.

I do not wish to share.
And i refuse to understand.
...
unfortunately understanding is not a conscious choice.
i do not Want to understand.

This is my blog.
My blog.
it was originally meant to be anonymous anyways.

My blog.
I do wat i want.

I own apple pie.
Everybody can have a piece of my apple pie.
But i cant have my apple pie because it is mine.
N wen it is mine, things are not that simple.
Wen it is mine, it is assumed that i can have my pie.
So others that want my pie think that they can borrow and den give it back.
Think that they can have a little because the rest is still mine.
Think that i shud understand... that i shud share my pie.
But wen everybody takes my pie... it is not my pie anymore.
Wen everybody takes my pie... I cant have my pie even when i am starving.
Because nobody noes that i am starving.
And i cant tell that i am starving because other people are starving too.
But it is MY pie.
maybe i shudnt own this pie anymore..
Maybe i shud own cheesecake...Cheesecake that no one else wants.

This is MY blog.

my phone is offed btw...
when its blank u dun stare.

I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed

AhaHAHahaAAa...
OooOOooo... CUTE one this one.. =P

I'm My Own Grandpa

Oh, many, many years ago
When I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow
Who was pretty as can be
This widow had a grown-up daughter
Who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her
And soon the two were wed

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life
For my daughter was my mother
'Cause she was my father's wife
To complicate the matter
Though it really brought me joy
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy

This little baby then became
A brother-in-law to Dad
And so became my uncle
Though it made me very sad
For if he was my uncle
Then that also made him brother
Of the widow's grown-up daughter
WHo of course is my step-mother

Chorus
I'm my own grandpa
I'm my own grandpa
It sounds funny I know
But it really is so
Oh, I'm my own grandpa

My father's wife then had a son
Who kept them on the run
And he became my grandchild
For he was my daughter's son
My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue
Because although she is my wife
She's my grandmother too

Now if my wife is my grandmother
Then I'm her grandchild
And every time I think of it
It nearly drives me wild
For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw
As husband of my grandma
I am my own grandpa

[chorus]

=DDD

=) Eventho i knew wat was coming, i cudnt help laughing out at the last line.
=PpP

And then me and someone someone and i were talking about God.
And how Jesus was His son and Himself.
And den the song came to mind!
And so we tried to figure:
-If God is The Father, and all people are His children, Then Virgin Mary wud be his child.
-And then God made Virgin Mary beget a child, Jesus.
-Mary, Mother of God.
-Jesus is the son of Gods child. Therefore, Jesus is Gods grandchild.
-But Jesus is also God himself. And God is the Father of his Mother.
-God is his own Grandpa.

Yikes!
Blasphemous!
Im going To hell for this!!!
Save ME!

I believe the sun should never set upon an argument

OK i tried to post this yesterday...
but my net connection screwed up on me...
Somehow ever since we got broadband.. Its been screwin up alot.. =P
n i lost it..

Or maybe its a way for the powers-tat-be to show their displeasure in me cheating again. =P!!! =D
Hehee..

Yes... Another song tat i can close my eyes n sink in... (for now)
Tat i can fall asleep n swim in...

Affirmation Lyrics

by Savage Garden

I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self-esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone
I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe forgiveness is the key to your unhappiness
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse TV evangelists
I believe in love surviving death into eternity

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

[repeat ]

=)

Procrastinate

...

he.

so again i had something to blog about.
last nite..
But itd probably be kinda long..

will see if i still have it on a more blogable day?

...

Absolutely moodless now.

Playin tis tho:
(Blasting more like it. Really blasting. with earphones somemore.. S'wat i do wen im upset. Music really does heal the soul..)

---

Breathe Easy Lyrics

by Blue

Cruel to the eye
I see the way he makes you smile
Cruel to the eye
Watching him hold what used to be mine

Why did I lie
Why did I walk away to find
Ooh why
Ooh why

I.........can't breathe easy
I cant sleep at night
Till youre by my side
No I........can't breathe easy
I cant dream yet another dream without you lying next to me
There's no air

Curse me inside
For every word that caused you to cry
Curse me inside
I wont forget, no I wont baby I
Don't know why
(Don't know why)
I left the one I was looking to find

Ooh why
Ooh why

WHY

I.........can't breathe easy
I cant sleep at night
Till youre by my side
No I........can't breathe easy
(Breathe easy)
I cant dream yet another dream without you lying next to me, there's no air
No I.........can't breathe easy
I cant dream yet another dream without you lying next to me, there's no air

Out of my mind
Nothing makes sense anymore
I want you back in my life
That's all I'm breathing for
Ooh......................
Tell me why................
Ooh Wont u tell me why
I cant dream yet another dream without you lying next to me, there's no air

no no no no no I................can't breathe easy
I cant sleep at night
Till youre...by my side
Yeah
I...................Can't breathe easy
No I...
I can't dream yet another dream without you lying next to me, there's no air
There's no air

---

[The lyrics from lyricsdomain were wrong n screwed tho.. weird.. i prefer tat over lyrics.com which was rite tis time tho.. weird. oh well..]

...
Really love tis song..
since it came out.
Jus dwnloaded it tho.
Seems perfect for my mood.
The tune i mean..

God its beautiful...
Its on repeat...
Everytime it ends.. u wonder whether ud get tired of the nex round..
But for tis song.. everytime it starts again..
Jus the starting tune.. n i feel better.
Ok.. maybe not better.. but.. t'least i like it or something..
Something bout the chords i guess...

So in love... (.. wit the song...)

oh.. n bcoz my bro is n ass.. n he's older..
apparently im not allowed to sing..
or even play my music out for tat matter..
-_-
brothers...

so.. hehe.. im basically totally totally screaming the song.
in my head. (see?! Im a good lil sister... =P no choice more like it..)
no seriously..
im like mouthing-screaming or watever u call it. =P
hehe..
I probably look dumb.
But i cant see myself.
Ha!~
N no one else can either.
hehe. =P

God i love tis song...

[If i close my eyes.. (while listenin to tis song).. i can cry inside. jus inside. preferably in my room tho. which im not at rite now..]

oh n i called up maxis again.
tis time i called the 03 number. (tat i found on the ticket! HA~!)
hehe
wonder if tis is the fixed line ellys talkin about.
N yes, they did pick up. =P
had to call em 3 times tho.
long story.
not AS efficient. =P
oh well..
So apparently my 'top-up' is pending..
n shud b settled by, latest, 11+am tmr..

...
we'll see..

oh n Elly, seriously.
I dun think u need a cell! =P
Wonder whether u were in the *ahem* again jus now. =DD
hehe...
...
ure delibrately ignoring my calls arent u?!?!?
:(

..
gd nite.

I like erk

Hmmm.. So Elly posted a post based on my last posted post..
=P
haha

N i posted a reply..
which was so long i wanted to put it Here instead. (cheat some on the posting. hehe!)
Buuuut den, Elly jus might kill me (read: poke me n make me die...) for not commenting.. so i left it der.. =P

I wonder how u do a trackback.
never bothered to pay attention to the little tips at the side..
hehehee..

My phone is still not workin
coz Maxis is still as screwy as ever.
n i am miserable.
Yes Elly, I am MISERABLE bcoz i have NO CREDIT!
=P
(Fine fine... i do have credit... But Not Enuff Credit to do Anything at all OK?!)

So, i wanna call up bloody maxis rite?!
N Yell at em n teach em a thing or two!!!
I mean, There IS a reason why people own mobile phones!!!
There IS a reason why Their company is making a whole bunch of Cash!!
Because People Need to use mobile phones ok?!
Portable Usable Bloody Mobile Phones, Okay?!?!
N wats the use of a bloody Portable Mobile Phone if u CANT bloody USE it?!
(I shall refrain from answering tis question myself...)

...

they need to fix their system...

Bloody Stupid Maxis...

...
actually, they ARE quite smart tho..
...
the reason why i sed i wanna call up bloody Maxis instead of sayin I called up stupid maxis, is bcoz...
Dial 1300-820-120 (yes i can even remember their number by now...) n it goes toottoot...
*mumblemumblegrumblegrumble*
Argh...
Jus let em Pick up their phone n i'll show em Wat toottoot actually Is!
Heh!

=P

haha.

OK ok, i really have to go..
need to pick up a call again...
(see-ing as to how i cant make calls n all... aih.. sad...)

oh n... i actually wanted to blog about something... but i kinda forgot wat it was..

erk..

moodless-ness

School is starting tomorrow.
(Or college. whichever.)

Which means school (or college. whichever.) starts in one hour.

...

ok. maybe not.

as u can see i havent much to say.
N im jus typing random crap for the sake of typing random crap bcoz i havnt typed random crap in a random crap lot of time (wth?!) ...
see wat i mean?

or maybe i do have much to say but cant say it.
hmm.

People always say tat they're phone has no credit.
The thing is, they dun actually mean tat they dun have any credit.
I mean, wat are the odds tat they are left with exactly RM0.00?!
0 tats wat.
no wait, tats not true...
Anyways.. people shudnt say they dun have credit coz more often/likely than not, they do infact still have credit.
but
1) they do not want to talk to u
2) they do not want to msg u. same sht.
3) they want to save their remainin credit for certain someones. (same as 1 n 2)
4) they are running low on credit n wud not like to finish it all on u. (same as 1,2,3)
5) they jus want u to waste ur credit instead.
...

oh well.

n it wud be really cool if i cud come up right now n say I have no credit.
N in actual fact HAVE no credit. In the sense tat i have RM0.00 credit.
but unfortunately, tat is not true.
(n i am not a liar)
I do infact have credit.
When i press *122# (call)
It tells me tat.
My Balance: RM 0.01

Dam.

Jus one bloody cent away from being able to use those mystical words.

...

Oh, so i went for the Star Education thingy today.
(force to OK?!)

N i learned alot.

Honestly.

I learned tat:
Adults are *insert expletive* idiots.

well actually tats not true.
i already knew tat.

Seriously.

Adults can be total asses.
Jus bcoz im a kid.
Jus bcoz im not as close to extinction as they are.
Is it jealousy?!
Come on man!
...

Cant remember the number of times adults were jus plain rude to me jus bcoz im a kid.
I mean, Come On!!! Whos the Kid here?!
Lousy *toottoot*s...

...

anyways. who cares rite?
we were put on earth to suffer.
I guess tis is one of the ways..

n im too lazy to talk about it.
gotta go pick a call...

bye.

have fun at school.

(oh wait... im the one going back to school college.)
oh n btw, school sounds better..

Take Me To Your Heart

Take Me To Your Heart Lyrics

by MLTR

Hiding from the rain and snow
Trying to forget but I won't let go
Looking at a crowded street
Listening to my own heart beat

So many people all around the world
Tell me where do I find someone like you girl

[Chorus]
Take me to your heart take me to your soul
Give me your hand before I'm old
Show me what love is - haven't got a clue
Show me that wonders can be true

They say nothing lasts forever
We're only here today
Love is now or never
Bring me far away

Take me to your heart take me to your soul
Give me your hand and hold me
Show me what love is - be my guiding star
It's easy take me to your heart

Standing on a mountain high
Looking at the moon through a clear blue sky
I should go and see some friends
But they don't really comprehend

Don't need too much talking without saying anything
All I need is someone who makes me wanna sing
[Chorus]

---

I am a cheat.
Yes i noe.

First day of the year

Happy New Year everyone!!!

The dates now read 1st January 2005.

Tat is SO COOL!
hahaaa...

Happy new year guys.
Hope u all had great fun burrying 2004 and welcoming 2005.
I cant really believe tat one year has pass...
tat 2004 is no more...

New years have never affected me this way.
I never cud care less about em.
Jus feel like 2004 has left too fast tho...
N tat somehow 2004 meant something to me.
now the year is gone... over...
N we're all a lil bit older...
a lil bit closer to being something else...

N me...
I hate growing up..
seems like oni a short while ago tat i left my friends back home, n started living here...
but it wasnt a short while ago..
its now a whole new year..
My juniors will be the ones leaving school n starting coll.

I hate growing up.
I like being a kid, a teenager.
eventho it means certain things like needing parental consent for most things in my life...
(yea... actually, tat sucks! dam!)
But i hate the grown up world.
Wheres ders no longer any integrity.
Where selfishness is abundant.. n no one noes how to sacrifice anymore.
Not for ppl outside their small circle atleast...
Where ppl dun jus care for the sake of caring anymore...
...
N Mostly, where lying is a way of life... the only way to survive...
Where u cant trust anyone. nobody does.
...

I hate growing up..
Growin tat lil bit older..
Knowing tat i wont be a kid much longer..
Knowing tat i will have to take on some responsibilities soon..
Knowing i have to grow up.
Lil bit closer to the A2 exams..
Lil bit closer to the stupid medicine interviews!
Lil bit closer to graduation.
N leavin.
Leavin for another country.
Leaving to a place far away.. where wunny isnt...
n never havin time for wunny again...
(or myself for tat matter.)
once i get into uni its gonna be medicine...
medicine = no fooling around.
n after 7yrs of sht n shtty exams its work.
n work as a bloody doctor is no piece of cake.
yes wunny, no time anymore...
n den furtherin my studies maybe..
n den more work.
...
dun u get it wunny? We'll never have any time...

...

anyways.

=)
Wunny called to wish me a happy new year. =)
Told me he loves me n wished me a happy new year!!

I never realised how much a new year can mean to me until now..
Bcoz wunny wished me a happy new year!
N suddenly, tis day seems special, worth celebrating.
Haha i noe its stupid...
but it jus made everything feel better..
Jus bcoz he called on n insignificant day to wish me something insignificant...
It made the day significant.
stupid. yes, i noe. =P
but tats how it is.
N from now on, 1st January 2005 shall have to thank Wunny for making it significant. =PpP
=DDDD

Happy anniversary darling.
We didnt do much n u made me cry. =P

Happy new year love.
U make me smile too... =)

---

[Heh, fortunately.. Clicked on publish jus now n it started to take a while. Sensed something Might be wrong (knowing blog-city's screwy nature!) so quickly selected it all n copied it... Nex thing i noe the page cant be found. Thank god i saved it. Screwy blog-city...!!!]