no i wont be there for you

Ramblings :

Hah! I Told you it was Lifehouse! Just because i dont recognise the song, how can i not recognise that sexy voice~ :)

.

// Did you know, that our songs' actually made the top 5?
cool huh.
or, twisted. hmm. //

.

Another heartbreak song. How do they liveeee with themselves???

(<-----)

.

N den we finds Everwood.

(n the boy)

both heartbreak.

just watching the video, i can Tell that this is a heartbreak show.

it annoys me.

.

Dam its a loooong time since i've felt this way.
hm.

.

Set to watch the pilot before i sleep tonight.

.

yea.

i reeaally dont think i should have (wanted you so much that ive) done that.

try.

.

Walking into heartbreak territory.

:)


(8) All this time is passing by
I think it's time to just move on~

no new moons for you

(on one of the few times that i can realize it..)

I'm better than that, come on~ (like duh, and insert eye-rolling.. *tongue*)

I can vaguely (probably not just vaguely) remember what it used to be like, n how its better now, isnt it.

Empty, dreary, nothingness?
but thats nothing new. nothing out of the ordinary, unusual, unexpected.

Probably more dull, than bleak.

Dull is.. do-able.
Dull is not extraordinary.

Dull must be the nothingness i'd begged for from before.


Right now, im wanting control. Struggling for control, planning for it?
But we Know, control or not, outcome is the same, so can i give it up?

So there is nothing out there right now.

That has Got to be better than being able to really really feel.

Like i could before.


so

Wake up.
Smell the fresh air.

Living in nothingness is not something thats never been done before..

=)..

I TEXT YOU YOU NEVER ANSWER!!!!!

*mumblemumblegrumblegrumble*

so much for "always you find me i nvr find you" phTuiiii!!!

(hah)

Also.

it is actually cheaper for me to text an international roaming text from overseas (eg. europe), than it is to text internationally from here (uk).
odd huh.

remind me to save all my international texting for when i travel! haha..

(not that u ever Reply anyways..... sonofa................)



ps. just incase there was any doubt, i was gonna say 'Gun' there, n not, y'noe, anything else. :p

never fully realised how empty my list is, without you..

isn't it just a little bit sad that this is all i have?
count on the fingers of one hand.
n how many to make one?


used used used
all thats ever done.

hmm.

dont you have anything better to give me?

for someone so special...
its so suprising.. so disappointing that this is what you do..

hmm...

not yet..
but one day,
i will get it.
n den maybe so will you..


sure i know now, all will be lost then..
but theres not much that i can do about it..

--

The first step to writing a report is opening a Word doc.

n then Not falling asleep.
that would be a good one.

--

Time.

Time passes us by so quickly.

Already it is almost 9pm.
n i am hungry.
n i have barely written anything for work.

Already i am almost 24 (omG the Horror!)
n what have i done?
what have i accomplished? (failing more n more infact.. hmmm.)
what will i have for my future?

The paths we choose, take, are lead down..
our paths give us different choices, different lives..
each should have their own pros and cons, coz thats the fairness of life isn't it?

Your path, so much you have to give, and put in..
but so so very much you have gained..

n My path?
sure there are things to be gained..
but have i gained anything not temporary? not just ease or the less difficult road..
is there anything i can Take away from this?
How will i come out Better than if i had not gone down this path?
Is there anything that i will obtain here, that i wont lose in several short moments when i return?

So far, i haven't found anything.

Emptiness. Occasional disappointment.

Maybe soon? Maybe the future?
Sure..
Waste the last few years for the future.
Sure, i am hopeful for that.

I dont really believe in picking wrong.
Because all paths (that arent blatanly wrong) should have their own points to make them somewhat equal.
Life takes you down your path.
But until now, I have yet to find the rightness of mine.

...

9pm.

maybe we'll see.