i dont know how to do it

......

---

Leaving for somewhere again tmr. (or today technically.)
back in a few days. as usual.

Life sucks by the way. such a surprise huh.

but its also great.

but watever.
just plain hoping the nex few days will be reasonable.

---

oh yes im thinking of so many things...

but so what?..


i could love that nose forever...

i'm sorry its not on right..
(no.. not the nose.)

the 2 heroes

(Add : Whooops.. say what? :p)

i messed up...

royally.. screwed up..

right..
but i dont even wanna admit it..


why do you always hold out longer than i do...

its not fair..

u always make me lose its not fair..


tmrs gonna really suck..

nex few days gonna really suck..

until i find its fckd up enuff to.. i dunno..


dammit.

P.S. no such luxury... (i wish..)

[Add on : The power of the shopping! Lets see if it works? haha..]

flight of a dove

If I told you a secret
You won't tell a soul
Will you hold it and keep it alive

so, as ive said before, if you play one song on my player, it plays n den stops when it ends.
but when you play more than one song, it just loops over and over.
n then it might get annoying. =p

but well, ive 3 songs now.

who listens? hahaa..

-

Cause it's burning a hole
And I can't get to sleep
And I can't live alone in this lie

theres too much mushy junk in my head right now meant for this post that im havin trouble arranging it n figuring out which n what to say n when n where. =p

so, right now im wondering, why was i even worried?
misinterpretaion probably.
if i go back n look at it this way, then theres not much to bother.
n thats a good thing.

chronological order.

|| oh wait, junk out of the way.

KLPac is havin its first Open Day tmr so it might be worth going if you're into that sorta thing.
i think someones into it so you might consider.. going.

im interested, but i only just found out..
so im at the half half stage. you know the one where i need someone who really wants to go to push me to. ;)
but he says for Me to let Him know if I am going. haha..

oh well im guessin it wont be all too great.
except to go just to see what KLPacs like, coz i havnt been there n ive wanted to.. n same with him. n they've a bunch (alot actually) of stuff going on n admission is free so i guess its pretty fitting coz we can go explore the place n see all the possible things that goes on there n have all kindza shows n demonstrations n activities going on, ie. entertainment is provided.

so thats good.

but my friend says he plans to chao after 2-3hrs which, den doesnt sound too appealing (tho it might be alright).
n also bcoz i think ive to do stuff tmr. (which will be in later part of post..) ||

So look up
Take it away
Don't look da-da-da- down the mountain

Pavilion was Awesome! is.
Not the first time i was there today (ok, fine, second. =p)
but today i gotta discover theyve an Open air area!
So Friggin Awesome!!!
n thats where the Cineplex is! So frigging cool n SEVeral floors over!
Escalators in the open!
with the ground floor a Food place
which is So cool eating in the open air (in that sorta place)
which is Just like cineleisure only Better!
(ok actually the open area food lane is better in Cine coz its longer n stuff but Pavilion has Floors n Tats wat makes it Friggin Awesome! Wheeeeeeeeeeee )

Also today i found So Many Shops with stuff ive Always wanted to find / been looking for but have so far not been available in kl / msia (as far as i know! haha)
not just like one thing, a whole Store with stuff im talking bout.
Several diff stores infact Man!
accessories stuff n so on So friggin awesome (again)
AND i found something i've been lookin for n need to get. soon.

oh n atfirst i tot said thing was quite affordable.
but only after did i realise they conned me into thinking that way by putting a 9 in the 2nd digit instead of rounding it off. =p
n also, tho it might be affordable, its only one part to the thing i need to get.
n the second part has a mini part to it too. =p
now tats gonna cost alot.

but oh well.

i need to get this stuff! n im happy ive found something way better than i tot id be able to.. =p

Also,
gasp! n I had Milo-D today! (or Milo-Dinasour as the singaporeans wud call it.. for some reason.. =p) in Food Republic. (theres a Food Republic in Msia omg! (haha))
n i tot it wudnt b good coz it was from a food court n it didnt look like it wud b good.
n i cudnt rmmbr the amazing milo-d's i used to have at this amazing lil cafe that was outside my college (which is no longer there, n therefore has taken my ol milo-d's along with it) (which reminds me, need to msg Maria about this! =p) but this one just didnt seem like it
but i was wrong.
it was Awesome!
haha..

n so thats my threefold reason why Pavilion is So Friggin Awesome need to go back again! (n again) haha

.

oh dont pretend... dont fcking pretend to not know...
ive said it countless times...
dont pretend to twist my words to suit you just so you can frigging not feel guilty or frigging try to blame me
oh you cant do it.
its not my fault you've never paid attention to what i say.

If the world isn't turning
Your heart won't return
Anyone, anything, anyhow

ok messy thoughts bcoz..

theres alot more to this post but its late (4.36am) n im tired n wanna go sleep.. (surprisingly..)

so i'll just say..
i need to get a bunch of stuff.. or do a bunch of things..
n these things need to be gotten / done at several different places instead of the same..
n their all at the not so common, not so reachable places..

or something..

but watever..

sleep now.. gd nite.

So take me don't leave me
Take me don't leave me
Baby, love will come through it's just waiting for you

P.S. oh ya so tat means im prob going out tmr, (if my friends like me enough! coz theyre all ignoring me right now pffft! =p) n not KLPac i think, coz last chance to get some stuff i think..

P.P.S oh n i was tryin to figure out where to fit this in so
PAH! Are we on for a second time too!??
Lets go Pavilion! Catch a movie! the cine is so cooly located! =p
4/5, one of the two days before new year? or will u be too busy? :(

also, see told ya busy n messy..
i need one of those days for someone else too..

gd night.

Well I stand at the crossroads
Of highroads and lowroads
And I got a feeling it's right

If it's real what I'm feeling
There's no makebelieving
The sound of the wings of the flight of a dove

is that alright with you

Maybe i'll tell you...

sometime...

because it gets dark n sad

n i get weak..

so maybe i'll tell you..

sometime..

but im holding out..

s'longs i can

bcoz i know better..

bcoz i know you cant do it

n i cant do it.

when you run away from harm
would you run back into my arms

like you did when you were young

bcoz i cant know why

i cant ask you why.

n i cant tell you why.


Sometimes i get to wondering,
would you ever forgive me

n i get to thinking bout what it wud be like

what it cud be like.

oh sometimes i want what i cant have n i get so scared
that im losing it

losing it all.

but most of all i know what it will be like.

i hate it oh how i hate it
but most of all

i know that you cant do it

n i cant do it

n its the only way.

so

maybe i'll tell you, sometime..

but not now.

P.S. n i know im wrecking things soon..
but that cant really be helped either..
at least.. i wont let myself miss out..

P.P.S. 8am now, i havnt slept
not tired
n right now i have to say i kinda like the being up..
but just right now..
sometimes.. i dont like the waking up late bit that much..
sometimes.

Got a new song if u wanna listen.

Kinda missed you last night.. abit.. (;))
i have to say sometimes i miss you alot.. (as in often..) nowadays.. now that you're..
well.. thanks for writing dear
you didnt have to go jus coz i havnt slept..
but i know you i guess.. sigh..
its something else now huh..
but thanks for.. 'saja kacau'ing.. thanks for caring. n being sweet n soft. (for once.. in a while..)
i miss talking to you. i think.
we've talked, but we havnt.
so maybe one day i'll make you?
one day thats not anytime soon i guess..

Cafe Del Mar

I guess this is to announce that im Back.
Again.

haha.

-

and also that Heath Ledger the actor

has passed away.

which is.. very very very sad.
coz hes so young. n he did great shows.
n expressing appreciation for his apparent physical beauty seems slightly inappropriate right now.

the saddest bit..
besides feeling for him bcoz you Like him.. bcoz hes so nice and attractive and does really good shows
is also bcoz my latest memory / knowledge / picture of him
is the really really happy fella
who was marrying his Brokeback Mountain co-star (no, not he guy, Jake. his wife, played by Michelle Williams)
n they were havin a kid
n they were really really all dopey n happy about it.
N tho u obviously figure its all so typical of Hollywood coz it all happened in a matter of Months, n this Was Hollywood we were talking bout, so you kinda figure it wont be surprising if it doesnt work out n all..
they were still all really dopey n happy n very much in love n stuff
n u (i) figure they're nice ppl.. n stuff.

ya anyways.
so..
that was my last picture of him..
n now suddenly *poof*
hes dead?

like, gone.

n there wont be any more shows with Heath Ledger in it anymore.

No more A Knights Tale
No more Casanova
No more Brokeback Mountain

No more 10 Things I Hate About You

among others.

yea its really sad.
n the situations surrounding his death n all too..

n i really sympathise mostly for his lil girl.

But im done talking about this.

I wanna watch The Brothers Grimm tho. I rmmbr wanting to catch it i think. but didnt work out n cant rmmbr why.

Anyways.

-

Theyre playing my favourite episode.
i was just talking bout it yesterday.

The OC
Episode 14 apparently.

atleast, one of my favourite Parts of the entire thing
the part right at the begining of this episode, before the intro song plays.

oh well.
Olivers comin out soon n tats annoying..

Yes n i was just watching the bit i was tellin u about just just now
n my dad was lecturing me bout something.
n i was completely not listening at all.
Bah.

n anyways like part of the lecture was
"To tell you this kinda thing at this age!"
yea exactly. precisely bcoz i Am at this age that eventho you might be right your lecturing just isnt gonna make me change.
the threatening will work tho.
just that i'll only do it just to not get into trouble.

Bah.

n i wanna go up to my room
to finally be alone (well not really. no such luxury) after these few days!
to unwind or watever n read or sleep or anything

but moving up wud trigger the lecture... bahhhhhh...
so thats why im stuck here
sprouting all this crap to you.

oh ya n bah my dad changed the channel on me. pffft.

(I cant even run upstairs now!!! Argh Gah!)

-

ok im done talking.

so, what was i talkin about again?


P.S. oh btw, who recognises what the title is about?

It was in Sentosa where i saw the restaurants name
n tot, this must be the famous restaurant! or why does it sound so familiar?
like, why was it rollin off my tongue so smoothly?

n it took me a while before it Hit.

(Ennis, see?)

before its too late

would leave again.


( tats my chain. )


me?

in a heartbeat.

n i guess thats my problem.

or not.
bcoz that is also why i'll never have it / have to again.

-

Leavin for somewhere tmr
i think.

Back in a few days.
i think.

Too much to do then.

right.

Gonna have good food.
yumm.

-

so just leave again.

P.S. Not gonna explain. Not gonna ask.
bcoz questions and explanations are weak.
n you can be that now not me.

n the word is... Wheee!

I added a PS for my last post just after posting.
but something went wrong with the net n i guess it didnt work out.
n i was too lazy to wait, had to go off to sleep or something, to wake up early y'noe. :p
Anyways i forgot wat it was.
"Off tmr, back soon." or something. =p
But oh well,

BACK now. ;)

n YES it was GReat! Haha!

N ive figured out my Chickenshit theory!

I am NOT CHICKENSHIT after ALL! =P
haha..

not so into going into it right now.. :p

just wanna say

Watched : Cloverfield (at 1.15AM HAH! Beat That! Just bcoz there was No one to tell us No! Hah! hahaa.. no tats not it.. :p)

(and others)

AND

MUST Watch : SWEENEY TODD!
Yes Yes Yes!
Yes Pah?! =P
(tho its supposed to be a musical, and i hate musicals. But its also gonna be Good! So lets hope theres not tat much singing... =P) (in a musical??? hahaa..)

Also,
Atonement
I am Legend
Gabriel
Rendition

Haha!

Enchanteds over now dammit!
the day i came back it ended! Pfft!
hahaa..

but i guess i cant complain.
shudve been dam thankful it lasted through the exam n study period till After the exam
but Still i didnt go see. till now.
haha..

Also,
trying to get tickets to the MPO
but having probs with the dates..
hmm...
(stupid guy. =p)

Thought : Walking in KL is just like walking in Singapore. Cept not as clean (or safe if its at night.) But i bet we'd Take all those stupid pictures Too if it wasnt bcoz we're From Malaysia! haha!

ok. off to bed soon. (actually i'll prob be up with the book for a while!)
Out with the boy tmr.
no movie tho grrrr. =p

N the Big question!
Who wants to Go Again?!? =P


-
Why is it that my friends always get the guys i like.
n the guys i like always go for my friends.

right.


P.S. Less than 2 weeks left to this month, theres something i have to do soon..
But busy (wont be around + things to do) nex week.
Also, need some help doing this.

N another thing, WOMAN! Dont GO! *snifffffffffff*

all these moments

Switchfoot Live in KL!!!

Man!

Well.. not Tat Huge a deal or anything but.. a Concert!
When im So Free! Hah!
That i like too! haha..

i wouldnt mind going off to enjoy a concert..

after all ive only been to one.. :)..

ok but its 123 bucks. hmm.. (well wat did i expect right.. pfft..)

n no one i know thats interested... haha..

gotta go use my skills to con someone into going...
Like i conned Fabes into comin with us tmr! Haha! ;) (Hey.. its better than stickin around here! especially with us all gone. :p heheheee..)

But Look! Look at the places the tickets are sold!~

Axcess outlets
> Axcess Office, Jalan Semangat
> 1-Utama Shopping Complex
> Stadium Putra Box Office, Bukit Jalil
> Rock Corner, Midvalley Megamall
> Tower Records, Suria KLCC
> Tower Records, Lot 10
> The Actors Studio, Bangsar
> Music Valley Midlands Park, Penang
> Music Valley Greentown, Ipoh
> Music Valley, Holiday Plaza, Johor Bahru

So frikin available!
hahaa..
whats the word... obtainable! yea.. haha..


Just for the heck of doing something in this time.
entertaining myself.
of having fun. ;)

They didnt make no mention of their new album,
so maybe they'll do alot of the old stuff.
haha. prob will regardless.. :p

Girl just wanna have some fun. ;)

so how? :p

what i dont need

Heeee..

jus a few hours back i was really rather happy!
high!
excited!
hehee...

ofcoz this was before the long long 2 hr talk i had with you-know-who-you-are.
haha.
now ive calmed down edi i guess..
what with all the psycho analyzing!
ppl n divorces n Britney Spears! n what not! oh n ourselves too! hahaa..

anyways..
Permission to play!
Wheee!
Second time around!!!
WhEeeeeeeeeeee!

SO. Happy! thinking bout it..
i think most of the happy isnt the what-im-gonna-be-doing!
but the i-got-them-to-agree!
hahaa..

Happy! :D

n Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
in more ways than one. haha.

ANYWAYS! I'll be OFF to PLAY tomorrow!
or.. day after tmr, depending on how you look at it.. hehe..

HAPPEEE!
Again worr! =P

From the Land-of-no-jay-walking!
to the Land-of-way-up-high!
hahaa..
I think the last time i went off to the Land of way up high i was
8 or something!
12 yrs ago or something very very long ago. :p

Anyways, I hope its fun! =D

(but im just off for the escape n the weather n the play!)
ok.. i think im drunk now...

oh how i wish i cud just stay out late
even if its just to walk around..
you cannot believe the Freedom you can feel
when theres no one there to restrict you!
ahh.. n thats exactly wat we did in the Land-of-no-jay-walking! haha!
n that was the Best time i had! =P

4.30am!
gonna off to bed now, nothing else to say. :p


Fabian! You should Come!
Seriously!
Theres an FOS! HAH!
Bet you cud find all ur Tigre polos or watever there! hahaa..
its Free dude! Come stay for free!!
Getaway man. :p
Go for free, stay for free, n go n shop la while we play. ;)
exactly like stayin here wat except its more Fun!
hahaa..
75% discount dude. ;)

i'll go catch a movie ;)
hahahahaaaaaa...


-
ofcoz..
being happy is in some ways a 'bad' thing..
not bad bad.. but..
ya know.
bad things happen.

but regardless.
'happiness (per se)' aside.

I have been doing so well these past weeks.

dont break it.

(am i gonna regret jinxing it?)

-off to live My life.


P.S. Seriously man. Putting on weight! Gettin fat dammit!
Pfffft.
Need lose weight. (or fat. either way. :p)
seriously.
=p

(reflection)

He called her k****..
but hes the father, n her the kid..
n thats the difference.
-

I should get me a new place..
it would be healthier..
-

If someones sad,
but they dont want to tell you about it..
or if you dont know if they do..
den what do you do?
-

'with you', thats what she failed to say..

Do you ever wonder why i came to the pool house to look for you?
Everyday!
-

Mass Sociogenic Illness!
tat Jambu lecture! (or psychogenic or watever i forget.. Hey! i dont need to remember this crap anymore!)
It was on House! Hah!
hilarious.. :p
-

You've grown up by now..
i can tell..
but i dont care anymore..
-

Stupid pool tomorrow.. bah..

do you ever get scared? after you say or do something?
i do..
all the time..
-

i think at the beginning..
right at the beginning..
we dont know them yet.
n we need that time to really get to know them like we do now..?
to care?
to really get all that drama..

otherwise its just.. drama..
but now?
now its different..
.

n He runs right?
yea.. but he doesnt Know her..
his crush.. his interest..
he might 'care'..
but he cant possibly love her more than she does..
coz shes known her all her life right?
loved her all her life?
n hes only just been there..
so yea..
he cant possibly.. at that point..
love her more then she does. who has loved her all this while.

but no, we dont even think about it now.
-

So, you know the OC right?
n some people say (n by some i mean one person. cept yea, its not just one person. =P)
that the First season was the best season, n after that it just wasnt that great anymore. (still great.. just not as amazing..)
n so i think..
maybe its because
just like everywhere else..
when the first Year of a relationship is always the best?
n after that it just goes downhill?
until its over.

like theirs.
eventho in their case, it was for storylines n drama n getting viewers n all. :p

n you're a coward.
-

if you really meant it to be that way..
you would never have told me.
not yet anyways.

n the fact that you did..
just tells me...
n overrides what you tried to do.
with your short silence.

n it doesnt surprise me because that whole behind the scenes thing is so you.

its so us.

n i would never have told you unless you asked. (cept i didnt. hah.. (but tat was only bcoz it was too easy..))
coz thats the key.

or maybe bcoz i would never have had the guts to.
to offer it up.

or maybe bcoz im just not that assuming.

(so what was the point? for you.)


but i guess now we know that maybe i shouldnt.
coz nothing good ever comes out of anything i do.
not even for you.
-

now i dont do it because i want to..
but because thats the only way.

so dont break it k?
-

nuff for now..

gd night.


n im the loser.

steal a perfect moment

n what if they dont want to talk back?.....



again n again...


i'll come back.. will..
just give me time.


i've a song..
have a listen.

Do i hold you too tightly?
when will the hurt kick in?

M. I. A.

Peekaboo!

teeheeeheeee..

(away)

c ya.

P.S. the music is so beautiful..

wishing for the rest of my life..

amazing grace

(sorry ivy, i had to get up.)

sigh..

i had the most amazing dream just now.

flung up in the air
free falling

it felt like another one of those continuation dreams coz
i already knew bout the whole thrown in the air thing n stuff

n before that there were
lights (that went out)
trees
special family restaurants
n stuff.

i cant put it in words
just what i see in my head.

n the people that were involve were so random n cool...

the kidnap, carrying, transfering system.

anyways in the end there was the flip into the air.

its like twirl twirl twirl tumble tumble
n i held my breath coz i know id fall into water at the end
(btw there was oso some semi monster thing but he was just this big worm head tat made a cameo at the flinging. dun think he was meant to be evil or anything. it was supposed to be some sort of theme park kinda experience.)
but the water just never never seemed to come n you realise how absolutely high up you were thrown
n how far you were falling..
until whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo plop
(n u close ur eyes just incase there are underwater monsters. ahem. n oso because lake water n dirty n bad for the eyes. ahemahem. =p)

n then fling n up in the air again
n falling down..

n after that we were talkin n got to the point that
it wasnt in the least bit frightening (unlike sky diving ofcourse)
because it was done at night
n the free falling at night apparently doesnt causes the normal
y'noe heart droppin feelin n all that..
which was something i apparently already knew in the dream.. =/

den at some point i realised i had an exam to study for
n woke up. :)
how effective.

so i guess now we know why, actually, it wasnt at all freaky.
coz it was just a dream.
but whoever said dreams cudnt be just as amazing.
:)


P.S.
also. i fell asleep last night without meaning to n i did it
1) without setting my alarm
2) without HAVIN my phone IN MY ROOM!
n this was havin to wake up at 7 (or before) for an exam, And being 4am in the morning ok.
(see, i told u peeing is bad for me. this time it was the attempting to pee, didnt get a chance to before i fell asleep. heh)
which is completely Disastrous if u think about it
no alarm! n no phone just incase i was lucky enough for someone to call.
n no one else was gonna wake me up!
Man!

Den 7.10 or so, poop i woke up.
(somemore it was the kind of, oops i fell asleep, must go settle some stuff n go back to sleep again, kinda wake up ok. =P)

Phew man.
:)
(ty)


P.P.S.
i didnt go mms today =/.

P.P.P.S
Thanks Fabes. i appreciate you suggesting an alternative route without me havin to ask for it.


P.P.P.P.S
also, im wondering how someone is doing.. poor kid.
that was kinda drastic..
from 'I Miss you!' to 'shes a b****'.. (in like, dam short time ok.)
n this was years n years n years of it y'noe..
but i guess ud just say i was kepo-ing.

See, sometimes u can care about someone
(n wont mind being der n stuff)
but they dont give a crap about you caring
so..
yea well.

(oh yea i forgot. shes in our uni.)

Anyways
Now are you ready to be my 99%?!
bwahahahahhahahahahahhaahaaaaa!
jk. :p

Tc.

Last postscript! PEOPLE! Lets have Steamboat after the 'Xams!
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

k gd luck everyone.