of sweetness and pies

I guess,
He does love me so very much..
So much that its probably..
Much more than I deserve..

I guess,
I Need to remember that more often..
Jus as I ask him to remember certain stuff.. :)

Happy Anniversary darling.

u Better appreciate this as much as you should!
Coz tis real Sappy love post is a Huge sacrifice that im making for you.
bcoz I love you. (Oh GOd! The Sappiness!!! ArC!)

Oh ya, and,
My boyfriend's adorable, charming, and funny.. (in that order, darling?)
Oh Shafie, Im So lucky to Have you!
[-this, i can (try n) save my sorry self, coz just so you know, he Made me put this there! He Did!]

Ugh..
Too much..
=P

(I do love you bun.. This isn't just cause.. This is because i realise that i dont realise often enough how much you love me.. Happy Anniversary..)
(you do know im going right back to complaining that you dont love me tmr dont u. =P)

-god im still so scared..

Samara

You know you are in need of a haircut, badly, if,
you scare your own self.

When
-You look in the mirror, n the long black locks falling down the side of ur face reminds you very much, of certain women in white..with long black hair.. in certain movies.. Or physically similar women that appear in the middle of roads at night. (Oh my Fckin GOD Im Bloody Scared while writing this at 5.45am, all alone downstairs in my living room, at night! FCK!)

- You catch a look of you hair spreading out while u lie on your bed, n it scared you so badly that images start popping thru ur brain n you need a call from your oh so brave n loving (note the coughs n exagerations here..) boyfriend to stop you from, screaming your head off n actually explaining to other people the embarassing details of what scared you.

ok yes im fckin scared right now..
I guess the reason why i havnt been bloggin lately..
other than the fact tat ive been jus a teensy bit too lazy to..
Would be, coz, my sweet ass boyfriend, whose ass isnt actually all that sweet, has been occupying all my late night hours tremendously well n tremendously much (n i hav i feeling im spelling tis wrongly..), at this time wen conditions are most suited for me to do my best blogging.. (Or, apparently, Any blogging for that matter..)
The wildest things that you could think that we've been doing, would probably please him very much, so i shall refrain from making any explanations.
Juuuust to please his huge ego..

Muah.

(Fck you Fabian! Typing the bloody title oso gives me the bloody creeps! Im So Dam Scared! ARGH!)

i will

ive forgotten how long its been
that i last heard you
telling me
your favourite story

i thought for a long while
and then started to panic
was it that i did something wrong

you cried, telling me
that fairy tales lie
it cannot be
that i am your prince

maybe you could not have known
tat ever since u told me you love me
even the stars in my sky
lighted up

i wish to be the angel in the stories you love
open my arms to become wings and protect you
you must believe
believe tat we will be like the tales
where bliss and happiness is the ending

you cried, telling me
that fairy tales lie
it cannot be
that i am your prince

maybe you could not have known
tat ever since u told me you love me
even the stars in my sky
lighted up

i wish to be the angel in the stories you love
open my arms to become wings and protect you
you must believe
believe tat we will be like the tales
where bliss and happiness is the ending

i want to be the angel in the stories you love
open my arms to become wings and protect you
you must believe
believe tat we will be like the tales
where bliss and happiness is the ending

i will be the angel in the stories you love
open my arms to become wings and protect you
you must believe
believe tat we will be like the tales
where bliss and happiness is the ending

together, we will write our ending

shooting stars

i am extremely nostalgic right now...

thinking of a million things in my past..

different things that arent even connected..

its so weird.. i wonder why..

different bits of my past..

anyways,

sometimes wen u get emotional n nostalgic.. u start thinking back..
but the thing with memories is.. u actually tend to focus on the good bits.. (ok.. tis isnt exactly true.. dunno how to explain properly..)
its like.. if u had someone who.. betrayed u.. or.. cheated on u.. or something..
u start thinking of the fun times u guys had..
n wen it comes to the bad.. u suddenly cant remmember wat was tat terrible anymore..
n suddenly u think, Hey! Let me drop him/her a line.. Say hi.. Chat a little.. maybe try to get back to how things were.. We had such fun back den...........

big mistake

sigh..
actually.. tis cant be categorised n stuff..
sometimes it works out well n sometimes it doesnt..

but now, im talkin bout wen it doesnt..

sometimes.. once certain things have past.. u cant go back anymore..
to steal a line from a fren of mine, uve burned bridges.. ders no turning back..

sigh...

so.. here i am..
listening to songs..
getting all weepy n wat not. (no, not true..)
msging a fren..
fortunately.. tis is a good fren of mine.. no problems der..
a fren i miss quite alot.. coz we dun see each other.. or talk much..
n yet we stay quite cool..
but sadly.. ders a warped reason behind tat..
its bcoz.. the closeness isnt Totally der..
its like.. we're close.. but not as close as two ppl can get..
its wen strong emotions get involve.. n u care more.. tat u get hurt more..

ok.. part of tat is true..
lifes jus too complicated to totally explain it..
sigh..

songs so annoying.. it just keeps gettin to me..
sigh..

so anyways..
a tot crossed my mind..
about msgin another fren..
jus for fun.. say hi.. chat a little..
but no.. i decided against it..
coz tis one.. i pretty much noe how it will go..
tis is one where ive burned the bridges.. n i jus cant go back..
no matter how good it was.. no matter wat a waste it is to lose..
i just.. cant anymore..
so wats the point..?

the minds a complicated thing..
tots are jus running thru now..

n den ders this other friendship.. where i figure.. my friend has done the burning of bridges..
infact, it was his line. ha..
i miss his grandmother stories.. :p
its not like we dun talk now..
we write.. a little..
we're on ok terms.. we can still talk.. sure.
but.. i dunno.. guess he doesnt feel the need to share stories with me..
in depth at least..
which.. fortunately or unfortunately, i can totally understand..
n worse.. relate to..
sometimes wen u cant.. u jus.. cant.

it is a loss.. yes..
but wat can we do..

its in Gods hands.

wow.. tis turned out long..
weird..

minds not clear tho.. but i doubt i can clear it. :)

i like the night sky.
i like stars.
i want to lie on my back, out in the open, staring at the nightsky..

sigh...

oh, n..
i know i might change some tots on tis..
n if something bad were to happen i probably wont hold true to tis..
but..
i believe.. pretty much.. tat everything happens for a reason..
somehow..
n tat.. everything will work out fine in the end..
tat u dun always get wat u want..
bcoz u dont know wat isit tat u really.. need..
wen u lose something.. it just leads u to something else..
something.. better..
(sigh..)
i noe.. tat if ure facing tis.. u Dont want tat something 'better'.. u want wat u want..
ive been der..
most of us have..
sigh..
oh well..
everything works out right in the end..
coz lifes a cycle..
in Gods hands..
fate
the universe

ders a reason for everything..
a reason tat u dont know..

infact.. theres an example tat i was fortunate enough to be able to witness..
where something was lost.. long months of pain were involve..
but it worked out.. in the sense tat.. if it had not occured tat way..
something better wud not have been reached..
..atleast i hope its something better.. n i hope it will be the last..

..
u noe wat?
ure right..
i dont want anything 'better'..
i have wat i need..

...

lifes a bitch..
good luck everyone.